Hi Sarita and what a lovely name. 

I too left the church - I was going mad with what I was growing into and what the church believed.  It was a duality that I could not cope with. It was clear that it was going to be my problem not the church's. 

Reading your story I was heartened by your bravery and your conviction. I guess my only concern is that for a person in your postion, it may be possible to develop a noble martyr complex. Even so much of what you said resonates with me. I no longer am an adherent of any one belief or God - The lamps are different but the light is the same-Rumi. I see that there is danger in all religions to become fundamentalistic and yet all religions can provide some truths to follow.  I am learning that truth is not absolute and I am discovering my truth in everything.  The search for truth is often a search for certainty where there is none . An illusion. But I am still a spiritual person and I will grow and walk my journey, wherever that takes me.  Thank you for sharing yours - you have inspired me and shown me a another path I had not considered and for that I am grateful.