"Then what do you see as the point of gender Amy?"

That, right there, is the question we should be asking, rather than what it means to be male or female.

And really, I don't have a good answer.  The best I can do for the moment is to suggest that maybe the purpose has been different in different times and places.  As far as I can tell, American masculinity and femininity are pretty different from the same in, say, ancient Japan.  Perhaps a good survey of what gender and gender roles have meant through history and geography might give us some clues.