(4189,1,'2012-01-17 08:07:05','2012-01-17 16:07:05','<blockquote><p><em><a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-3573\" src=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" align=\"right\" /></a>Maurice woke up from yet another night of nightmares, his pillow once again soaked with sweat as he waited for the images to fade into dim memory.  Checking the time, it was only 7:40 a.m. and once again, there were no messages for him.  So once again, he laid in bed and let the feeling of helplessness and rejection wash over him.  He liked to give it full reign for about a half hour before he pulled together the will to once again face another day.</em></p>\r\n<p><em>With something approximating optimism, he got dressed.  He couldn’t muster the energy to go through the complete ritual of shaving and showering, because in his heart when he believed no one wanted him, he didn’t bother.  But he had his plan and he planned on working it.  Searching for a job meant treating the act itself like a job.  So he otherwise prepared himself, went through the rest of his getting-ready-for-work ritual and prepared to face his day.</em></p>\r\n<p><em>Most days it was hard enough pulling himself out of bed rather than giving into the depression which always threatened to suck him into its waiting embrace.  The family’s anxiety level rose, conflating with his own.  The thing about anxiety was the toxic cloud it created, leaking into the fabric of everyday life like a creeping entropy.   So each morning begins by answering the questions “what’s the point?” and “where is the hope?”</em></p></blockquote>\r\n<p>I lost my job in December of 2009.  I’ve done odd jobs here and there from <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=2626\">freelance writing</a> to <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=3089\">substitute teaching</a>, but I haven’t had anything steady in over two years.   Prolonged unemployment can do strange things to your sense of self-worth.  You start listening to all of the voices that run around in the back of your head about how no one wants you or you’re not good for anything.  After a while you have to come up with good reasons to even get up because you begin to lose hope.   Hope is one of those ephemeral things, intertwined with faith and just as fragile.  Some days it flares like the sun and others I have to turn off all the lights so that I can catch a glimpse of the embers.  So each day I get to remind myself  of all of the reasons I have to keep getting up:</p>\r\n<p>-A beautiful wife who even after eleven years loves me better than I do myself.</p>\r\n<p>-Two knucklehead boys who seem to have their own R&amp;D department committed to finding new ways to get into mischief, who also depend on me.</p>\r\n<p>-Some of the best friends a man could ask for.</p>\r\n<p>-Good health.</p>\r\n<p>-And a continued sense of hope.</p>\r\n<p>Sometimes the dark circumstances are the exact times that God uses to transform us.  We feel that God is not at work, that He has abandoned us, and it is the belief that all of our cries are going unanswered that causes us the greatest pain. We need encouragement to endure this time.  Look, true faith is not without hardships, nor is it all that pragmatic. So when problems arise, there are no pat answers. There are no steps. It sucks. We have to hold on and endure it. These times of crisis will either break us and cause us to abandon God or break us down and draw us nearer to Him.</p>\r\n<p>A lot of times we place our love and faith in the wrong things (or good things that aren’t the best things), confusing our spiritual ideas with some distorted ideas of God. Sometimes it takes a loss of control to remind us, to re-shape us. Hopefully we will figure out what’s really important about our faith and walk, and be led to deeper faith.</p>\r\n<p>The key is to be vulnerable, but still believe in my darkest moments of unbelief.  I need to remember to go before God without pretending. Be broken, empty, terrified. Be honest with my pain, rather than put it behind me. Relief comes through honest dialogue. The more doubt expresses itself, the more it is allowed to be exposed, the easier it can be dealt with. Rather than keeping it inside, eating away at me like cancer.  God is sitting shiv’ah with us during our dark nights of the soul. Grieving with us. Restoring us. In that we need to have, and can find, hope.</p>\r\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 12.75pt; background: white;\">My hope is that <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=954\">God is not through with me yet</a> and that I still have not only gifts but also a job to do.  Even without full-time employment, I still have worth and can join in God’s missing to reconcile people to one another and to Him.  To continue to make this world a better place.  The story we find ourselves in shouldn\'t be reduced to we sin and God forgives, but that we’re children of God’s, co-heirs with Jesus, called to a life of joy. We are to make His life our own, transforming us, sometimes through the refining fire of pain, to look like Him, as children come to resemble their parents.  My hope is in that story.  My hope is in the story of redemption available for each and every one of us.  And that in recognizing our mutual need for redemption, we view one another with mercy and a measure of grace.</p>\r\n<p>The story of my faith is a hope that life, with it pains and joys, laughter and tears, matters.  Hope that relationships are eternal and reconciliation is possible.  Hope that we are significant and matter.  Hope that we are known, all of our good, all of our bad, through what we’ve done and for what we could be.  Hope that we are loved, as we are for who we are.  And all of that give me hope to get up in the morning, face another day, and dream anew of what could be.</p>\r\n','Keeping Hope Alive','','inherit','open','open','','4187-autosave','','','2012-01-17 08:07:05','2012-01-17 16:07:05','',4187,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4187-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4190,148,'2012-01-16 16:29:34','2012-01-17 00:29:34','<blockquote><em><a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-3573\" src=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" align=\"right\" /></a>Maurice woke up from yet another night of nightmares, his pillow once again soaked with sweat as he waited for the images to fade into dim memory.  Checking the time, it was only 7:40 a.m. and once again, there were no messages for him.  So once again, he laid in bed and let the feeling of helplessness and rejection wash over him.  He liked to give it full reign for about a half hour before he pulled together the will to once again face another day.</em>\r\n\r\n<em>With something approximating optimism, he got dressed.  He couldn’t muster the energy to go through the complete ritual of shaving and showering, because in his heart when he believed no one wanted him, he didn’t bother.  But he had his plan and he planned on working it.  Searching for a job meant treating the act itself like a job.  So he otherwise prepared himself, went through the rest of his getting-ready-for-work ritual and prepared to face his day.</em>\r\n\r\n<em>Most days it was hard enough pulling himself out of bed rather than giving into the depression which always threatened to suck him into its waiting embrace.  The family’s anxiety level rose, conflating with his own.  The thing about anxiety was the toxic cloud it created, leaking into the fabric of everyday life like a creeping entropy.   So each morning begins by answering the questions “what’s the point?” and “where is the hope?”</em></blockquote>\r\nI lost my job in December of 2009.  I’ve done odd jobs here and there from <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=2626\">freelance writing</a> to <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=3089\">substitute teaching</a>, but I haven’t had anything steady in over two years.   Prolonged unemployment can do strange things to your sense of self-worth.  You start listening to all of the voices that run around in the back of your head about how no one wants you or you’re not good for anything.  After a while you have to come up with good reasons to even get up because you begin to lose hope.   Hope is one of those ephemeral things, intertwined with faith and just as fragile.  Some days it flares like the sun and others I have to turn off all the lights so that I can catch a glimpse of the embers.  So each day I get to remind myself  of all of the reasons I have to keep getting up:\r\n\r\n-A beautiful wife who even after eleven years loves me better than I do myself.\r\n\r\n-Two knucklehead boys who seem to have their own R&amp;D department committed to finding new ways to get into mischief, who also depend on me.\r\n\r\n-Some of the best friends a man could ask for.\r\n\r\n-Good health.\r\n\r\n-And a continued sense of hope.\r\n<div>Sometimes the dark circumstances are the exact times that God uses to transform us.  We feel that God is not at work, that He has abandoned us, and it is the belief that all of our cries are going unanswered that causes us the greatest pain. We need encouragement to endure this time.  Look, true faith is not without hardships, nor is it all that pragmatic. So when problems arise, there are no pat answers. There are no steps. It sucks. We have to hold on and endure it. These times of crisis will either break us and cause us to abandon God or break us down and draw us nearer to Him.</div>\r\n<div>A lot of times we place our love and faith in the wrong things (or good things that aren’t the best things), confusing our spiritual ideas with some distorted ideas of God. Sometimes it takes a loss of control to remind us, to re-shape us. Hopefully we will figure out what’s really important about our faith and walk, and be led to deeper faith.</div>\r\n<div>The key is to be vulnerable, but still believe in my darkest moments of unbelief.  I need to remember to go before God without pretending. Be broken, empty, terrified. Be honest with my pain, rather than put it behind me. Relief comes through honest dialogue. The more doubt expresses itself, the more it is allowed to be exposed, the easier it can be dealt with. Rather than keeping it inside, eating away at me like cancer.</div>\r\n<div>God is sitting shiv’ah with us during our dark nights of the soul. Grieving with us. Restoring us. In that we need to have, and can find, hope.</div>\r\nSometimes the dark circumstances are the exact times that God uses to transform us.  We feel that God is not at work, that He has abandoned us, and it is the belief that all of our cries are going unanswered that causes us the greatest pain. We need encouragement to endure this time.  Look, true faith is not without hardships, nor is it all that pragmatic. So when problems arise, there are no pat answers. There are no steps. It sucks. We have to hold on and endure it. These times of crisis will either break us and cause us to abandon God or break us down and draw us nearer to Him. A lot of times we place our love and faith in the wrong things (or good things that aren’t the best things), confusing our spiritual ideas with some distorted ideas of God. Sometimes it takes a loss of control to remind us, to re-shape us. Hopefully we will figure out what’s really important about our faith and walk, and be led to deeper faith.The key is to be vulnerable, but still believe in my darkest moments of unbelief.  I need to remember to go before God without pretending. Be broken, empty, terrified. Be honest with my pain, rather than put it behind me. Relief comes through honest dialogue. The more doubt expresses itself, the more it is allowed to be exposed, the easier it can be dealt with. Rather than keeping it inside, eating away at me like cancer. God is sitting shiv’ah with us during our dark nights of the soul. Grieving with us. Restoring us. In that we need to have, and can find, hope.\r\n\r\nMy hope is that <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=954\">God is not through with me yet</a> and that I still have not only gifts but also a job to do.  Even without full-time employment, I still have worth and can join in God’s missing to reconcile people to one another and to Him.  To continue to make this world a better place.  The story we find ourselves in shouldn\'t be reduced to we sin and God forgives, but that we’re children of God’s, co-heirs with Jesus, called to a life of joy. We are to make His life our own, transforming us, sometimes through the refining fire of pain, to look like Him, as children come to resemble their parents.  My hope is in that story.  My hope is in the story of redemption available for each and every one of us.  And that in recognizing our mutual need for redemption, we view one another with mercy and a measure of grace.\r\n\r\nThe story of my faith is a hope that life, with it pains and joys, laughter and tears, matters.  Hope that relationships are eternal and reconciliation is possible.  Hope that we are significant and matter.  Hope that we are known, all of our good, all of our bad, through what we’ve done and for what we could be.  Hope that we are loved, as we are for who we are.  And all of that give me hope to get up in the morning, face another day, and dream anew of what could be.','Keeping Hope Alive','','inherit','open','open','','4187-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 16:29:34','2012-01-17 00:29:34','',4187,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4187-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4193,1,'2012-01-16 16:40:42','2012-01-17 00:40:42','A friend of mine recently asked me, \"Why are you so confident in your conclusions?\" The question caught my attention and caused me to ask some very deep questions about where is my hope.  I don\'t spend a lot of time trying to prove anything anymore, and yet he was still seeing me as firm in my convictions.\r\n\r\nOver the last fifteen years, I\'ve spent a great deal of time listening deeply to my own faith and the process that goes into it. I wrote a <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-God-Imagination-Reconstructing-Christianity/dp/1453650741\" target=\"_blank\">book</a> about my conclusions and then spent the last several years allowing my own conclusions to be put to the blender.  Would it blend?  I taken on my own historical understanding of the Christian faith and found it wanting.  But instead of abandoning it, I sought to redeem it.  And after publishing it, I felt like I had...at least for me.  And that was enough.  I had discovered the relentless nature of love and grace, and just when I though I had found the end, God blew up my box.\r\n\r\nBut when my friend asked me the question, I had to step back once again and ask, \"Where is my hope?\"  Was it in my own conclusions?  Had I constructed a new box in which to live in, one that would imprison me in an unreasonable certainty and potential blindness?  Had I rebuilt the very same thing I had attempted to tear down.  Gone were the deep caffeine laden conversations that lasted four hours long.\r\n\r\nAt the core of my faith was the idea that there was nothing we had done or could ever do to lose the love of God.  But we could lose site of the love of God.  The problem of original sin was that as human beings, we could lose site of God\'s original judgment of humanity (<a href=\"http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=gen%201:31&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\">Gen 1:31</a>). We could construct a <em>false</em> conclusion that we could do something that could change God, and thus God\'s judgment.  And in losing site of that judgment, we\'re getting it wrong (sinning). The problem was then not in God, but in us.  The cross was God saying, \"This is how far I will go to show you that you are loved.\"\r\n\r\nI spent several days pondering the question, asking myself, \"What if I\'m wrong?  What if my understanding of the Christian faith was wrong?\"  I had offered conclusions that were counter to my own historical, evangelical perspective of faith.  If I stood before Jesus, what would I say?\r\n\r\nAnd then it hit me once again, that my hope was not in my constructed understanding of the Gospel, one that I felt was both logical, restorative and consistent with Scripture. My faith was then not in my faith.  It was in Jesus to be my faith for me.  My hope was in the love of God to judge for me.','Where Is My Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4046-revision-6','','','2012-01-16 16:40:42','2012-01-17 00:40:42','',4046,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4046-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4194,1,'2012-01-16 16:41:40','2012-01-17 00:41:40','A friend of mine recently asked me, \"Why are you so confident in your conclusions?\" The question caught my attention and caused me to ask some very deep questions about where is my hope.  I don\'t spend a lot of time trying to prove anything anymore, and yet he was still seeing me as firm in my convictions.\r\n\r\nOver the last fifteen years, I\'ve spent a great deal of time listening deeply to my own faith and the process that goes into it. I wrote a <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-God-Imagination-Reconstructing-Christianity/dp/1453650741\" target=\"_blank\">book</a> about my conclusions and then spent the last several years allowing my own conclusions to be put to the blender.  Would it blend?  I taken on my own historical understanding of the Christian faith and found it wanting.  But instead of abandoning it, I sought to redeem it.  And after publishing it, I felt like I had...at least for me.  And that was enough.  I had discovered the relentless nature of love and grace, and just when I though I had found the end, God blew up my box.\r\n\r\nBut when my friend asked me the question, I had to step back once again and ask, \"Where is my hope?\"  Was it in my own conclusions?  Had I constructed a new box in which to live in, one that would imprison me in an unreasonable certainty and potential blindness?  Had I rebuilt the very same thing I had attempted to tear down.  Gone were the deep caffeine laden conversations that lasted four hours long.\r\n\r\nAt the core of my faith was the idea that there was nothing we had done or could ever do to lose the love of God.  But we could lose sight of the love of God.  The problem of original sin was that as human beings, we could lose site of God\'s original judgment of humanity (<a href=\"http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=gen%201:31&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\">Gen 1:31</a>). We could construct a <em>false</em> conclusion that we could do something that could change God, and thus God\'s judgment.  And in losing site of that judgment, we\'re getting it wrong (sinning). The problem was then not in God, but in us.  The cross was God saying, \"This is how far I will go to show you that you are loved.\"\r\n\r\nI spent several days pondering the question, asking myself, \"What if I\'m wrong?  What if my understanding of the Christian faith was wrong?\"  I had offered conclusions that were counter to my own historical, evangelical perspective of faith.  If I stood before Jesus, what would I say?\r\n\r\nAnd then it hit me once again, that my hope was not in my constructed understanding of the Gospel, one that I felt was both logical, restorative and consistent with Scripture. My faith was then not in my faith.  It was in Jesus to be my faith for me.  My hope was in the love of God to judge for me.','Where Is My Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4046-autosave','','','2012-01-16 16:41:40','2012-01-17 00:41:40','',4046,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4046-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4195,1,'2012-01-16 14:41:49','2012-01-16 22:41:49','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-7','','','2012-01-16 14:41:49','2012-01-16 22:41:49','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4042-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(4196,6,'2012-01-18 08:00:16','2012-01-18 16:00:16','A few weeks ago I posted this prayer on <a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/Light-for-the-Journey/143510882359774\">Facebook:</a>\r\n<blockquote>‎”Jesus may we see in you the ways of life,\r\nMay we love justice, show mercy, practice generosity,\r\nAnd love our neighbours as we do ourselves.”</blockquote>\r\nSomeone called these lofty but admirable goals.  On a similar post several months ago someone else called it admirable idealism and another commented – impossible.  What kind of hope fills our lives How sad when God\'s hope for a world made new are viewed in this way.\r\n\r\nLove of neighbour, generosity, mercy and justice are at the heart of the gospel and the backbone of the commands that Jesus invites us to live by.  They are the fabric that is meant to shape our lives. At least that is what we tell people or pretend to believe, but underneath do we really think that they are unattainable idealism? Have we lost hope in what God plans to accomplish?\r\n\r\nHow we live is driven by who we are and what we believe.  Asking people to love their neighbours and forgive their enemies is pointless unless we first enable them to confront their inner disbelief in the attainability of these goals.  Sure we will never love our neighbours as well as we should and forgiving enemies can be very, very hard but if don’t believe it is possible we will never move an inch towards this seemingly unattainable goal.\r\n\r\nOne of my great role models in this struggle is the apostle John His story is one of the greatest stories of hope in the Bible. We first meet in Mark 3:17 as one of the Sons of Thunder.  I suspect he must have had a pretty fiery temper to be given that name. By the end of the New Testament he known as the Apostle of love.\r\n\r\nWhat an incredible transformation of heart, spirit and life that must have taken place.  And I don’t think that it is surprising that we also hear him called “the disciple that Jesus loved” (John 21: 20).  The closer we walk with Jesus, the more intimately we enter into the love of his presence, the more possibility we have of being transformed and the more possibility we have of loving justice, showing mercy, practicing generosity and loving our neighbours as we do ourselves.\r\n\r\nSo what do you think?  Is the hope we have in Jesus message attainable idealism or is it a powerful vision of hope and promise for a world transformed and a people reborn?\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Are We Afraid to Hope? ','','publish','open','open','','are-we-afraid-to-hope','','','2012-01-18 09:10:27','2012-01-18 17:10:27','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4196',0,'post','',7),(4197,6,'2012-01-16 17:15:21','2012-01-17 01:15:21','A few weeks ago I posted this prayer on <a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/Light-for-the-Journey/143510882359774\">facebook:</a>\n<blockquote>‎”Jesus may we see in you the ways of life,\nMay we love justice, show mercy, practice generosity,\nAnd love our neighbours as we do ourselves.”</blockquote>\nSomeone called these lofty but admirable goals.  On a similar post several months ago someone else called it admirable idealism and another commented – impossible.  What kind of hope fills our lives How sad when God\'s hope for a world made new are viewed in this way.\n\nLove of neighbour, generosity, mercy and justice are at the heart of the gospel and the backbone of the commands that Jesus invites us to live by.  They are the fabric that is meant to shape our lives. At least that is what we tell people or pretend to believe, but underneath do we really think that they are unattainable idealism? Have we lost hope in what God plans to accomplish?\n\nHow we live is driven by who we are and what we believe.  Asking people to love their neighbours and forgive their enemies is pointless unless we first enable them to confront their inner disbelief in the attainability of these goals.  Sure we will never love our neighbours as well as we should and forgiving enemies can be very, very hard but if don’t believe it is possible we will never move an inch towards this seemingly unattainable goal.\n\nOne of my great role models in this struggle is the apostile John His story is one of the greatest stories of hope in the Bible. We first meet in Mark 3:17 as one of the Sons of Thunder.  I suspect he must have had a pretty fiery temper to be given that name. By the end of the New Testament he known as the Apostle of love.\n\nWhat an incredible transformation of heart, spirit and life that must have taken place.  And I don’t think that it is surprising that we also hear him called “the disciple that Jesus loved” (John 21: 20).  The closer we walk with Jesus, the more intimately we enter into the love of his presence, the more possibility we have of being transformed and the more possibility we have of loving justice, showing mercy, practicing generosity and loving our neighbours as we do ourselves.\n\nSo what do you think?  Is the hope we have in Jesus message attainable idealism or is it a powerful vision of hope and promise for a world transformed and a people reborn?','Are We Afraid to Hope? ','','inherit','open','open','','4196-revision','','','2012-01-16 17:15:21','2012-01-17 01:15:21','',4196,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4196-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4198,146,'2012-01-18 08:00:49','2012-01-18 16:00:49','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\r\n\r\n<strong>At times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel.</strong> With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\r\n\r\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\r\n\r\n<strong>As a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist.</strong> How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\r\n\r\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\r\n\r\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\r\n\r\n<strong>Yet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant.</strong> I should find my hope in him.\r\n\r\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\r\n\r\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? <strong>Where do I place my hope?</strong>\r\n\r\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\r\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\r\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\r\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\r\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\r\n\r\n<strong>I fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism.</strong> Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\r\n\r\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear ','','publish','open','open','','on-wobbly-wheels-split-churches-and-fear','','','2012-01-18 08:53:46','2012-01-18 16:53:46','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4198',0,'post','',2),(4199,146,'2012-01-16 17:47:03','2012-01-17 01:47:03','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\n\nAt times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel. With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\n\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\n\nAs a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist. How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\n\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\n\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\n\nYet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant. I should find my hope in him.\n\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\n\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? Where do I place my hope?\n\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\n\nI fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism. Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\n\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.','On wobbly wheels, split churches and fear (where do I put my hope?)','','inherit','open','open','','4198-revision','','','2012-01-16 17:47:03','2012-01-17 01:47:03','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4198-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4201,146,'2012-01-16 17:54:04','2012-01-17 01:54:04','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\n\n<strong>At times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel.</strong> With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\n\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\n\n<strong>As a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist.</strong> How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\n\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\n\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\n\n<strong>Yet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant.</strong> I should find my hope in him.\n\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\n\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? <strong>Where do I place my hope?</strong>\n\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\n\n<strong>I fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism.</strong> Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\n\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.','On wobbly wheels, split churches and fear ','','inherit','open','open','','4198-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 17:54:04','2012-01-17 01:54:04','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4198-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4202,1,'2012-01-17 08:31:05','2012-01-17 16:31:05','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\r\n\r\n<strong>At times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel.</strong> With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\r\n\r\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\r\n\r\n<strong>As a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist.</strong> How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\r\n\r\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\r\n\r\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\r\n\r\n<strong>Yet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant.</strong> I should find my hope in him.\r\n\r\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\r\n\r\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? <strong>Where do I place my hope?</strong>\r\n\r\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\r\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\r\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\r\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\r\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\r\n\r\n<strong>I fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism.</strong> Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\r\n\r\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.','On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear ','','inherit','open','open','','4198-autosave','','','2012-01-17 08:31:05','2012-01-17 16:31:05','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4198-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4203,0,'2012-01-16 18:23:33','2012-01-17 02:23:33','Synchroblog on Hope\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: Travis Klassen\nAUTHOR EMAIL: travklassen@me.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://earthtourist.org\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 96.53.86.134\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; Travis Klassen\n    [Email] =&gt; travklassen@me.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; earthtourist.org\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; Synchroblog on Hope\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; travisklassen\n)\n','Travis Klassen - 2012-01-16 18:23:33','','publish','open','open','','7aa530bbd311e863fdc6701bd3b75860','','','2012-01-16 18:23:33','2012-01-17 02:23:33','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4203',0,'feedback','',0),(4551,48,'2012-01-24 09:01:28','2012-01-24 17:01:28','','Breaking out of the Box','','inherit','open','open','','4550-revision','','','2012-01-24 09:01:28','2012-01-24 17:01:28','',4550,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/24/4550-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4550,48,'2012-01-31 08:00:31','2012-01-31 16:00:31','“At what point do you say, ‘Wow, I really want to dangle upside down from silk scarves and play the violin for a living\'?” This question was posed by myself and couple friends of mine as we reconnected over a cup of coffee. We were discussing life paths and career choices-- still trying to figure out what we wanted to do “when we grew up”, despite having  graduated from college and started various jobs, families, and all recently having reached the milestone 30th birthday. It was in this context that one of my friends mentioned the aerial violinist, Janice Martin. We collectively wondered: what is the secret to thinking so decidedly out of the box as this performer does?\r\n\r\nTo be sure, thinking outside of the box is a rather cliché concept now, the subject of countless self-help books, business seminars, and the like. Regardless, it truly is something people seem to have a hard time executing. We learn early on as children to draw inside the lines, follow all the rules, and act orderly and contained. Creativity, while not completely disregarded, is often more of an afterthought. Most follow the same pattern into our adult life: go to school, build a career, get married, have kids, and those who dare to do those in a different order or on a different timeframe are often questioned or ridiculed.\r\n\r\nTo add to this, our brains seem hard-wired to place everything into neat little boxes.  Psychological theory calls these boxes “schemata”:  mental structures to organize information. Every time your brain receives new information, it tries to fit it inside already pre-conceived schemata. It is an efficient and quick way to store, retrieve, and process information, helping us to respond quickly and appropriately to many situations. However, when we encounter new experiences or information that does not fit into an existing schema, a common reaction is to ignore or quickly forget the offending information. Occasionally, new information that differs so completely from a schema but cannot be ignored will cause the existing schema to be altered or to create a separate schema for these “exceptions from the rule”. The question is: do these schemas we have created for ourselves and our roles sometimes needlessly box us in?\r\n\r\nLet’s go back to the aerial violinist. According to her <a href=\"http://www.janicemartin.com/\">website</a>, Janice Martin is a classically trained violinist, pianist and vocalist who works with the Cirque du Symphonie, combining her talents with aerial acrobats to be the \"world\'s only aerial violinist,\"¹ and also returned to headline the show <em>Encore!</em> aboard the <a href=\"http://www.showboatbransonbelle.com/\">Showboat Branson Belle</a> in Branson, MO for the second season.² Watching the videos of her performances, I am struck by not only her musical prowess (and I am a classically trained violist, so I can tell that the pieces she plays are difficult enough while performing them on solid ground, let alone while dangling by scarves), but she also displays an amazing grace, power, and strength in her aerial performance. Her vocal and piano performances are equally impressive, even if not performed while hanging from the ceiling. Truly, she is a formidable artist, putting the often touted \"triple threats\" to shame.\r\n\r\nMs. Martin is a unique artist to say the least, so it should be no surprise that her path there is equally unique. Musically trained at the Indiana University and the Juilliard School of Music, she found her first job in perhaps an unlikely place: the US Army, where she played in the US Army Band in Washington, D.C., as a solo violinist, including performances at the White House, the Capitol, and the State Department for President Bill Clinton and other world leaders.³\r\n\r\nAfter her enlistment with the army, Martin was awarded honorary use of the 1708 Burstein/Bagshawe Stradivarius Violin by The Stradivari Society.¹ She then toured domestically and internationally, soloing with the Milwaukee Symphony, Seattle Symphony, Houston Symphony, Atlanta Symphony, Edmonton Symphony, Portland Symphony, European Union Chamber Orchestra and the New York Symphonic Ensemble, to name just a few.¹ Her career and accomplishments as a musician alone are truly impressive.\r\n\r\nHow then did Janice Martin go from an internationally recognized musician to an aerial violinist? Where do the aerobatics come in to this story, exactly? After the death of her friend and sponsor, Joseph Burstein, Martin returned to New York in hope of creating a show of her own that encompassed more than just the realm of classical music.³ The necessary creative inspiration came one evening while Martin was in the audience of a Cirque du Soleil show; the performance that night moved her so much that she determined to become an aerialist and, combined with her violin virtuosity, have a one-woman show like no other.³ No doubt this is where her training in the Army came in handy once again, what with the vigorous physical training, including rope climbing. Janice Martin debuted at Carnegie Hall and then spent over a decade traveling and performing her self-choreographed shows.³ From there, it is all history, as they say.\r\n\r\nSo, what can we learn from this fascinating woman? Wearing skin-tight outfits and dangling upside down from scarves and rings from great heights while playing the electric violin is not exactly my dream job, but I certainly enjoy watching Janice Martin live out her dream.  And that\'s what I want to do-- live out my dream; the trouble is, I don\'t just have one, and I haven\'t quite figured out how to combine them all so snugly like Ms. Martin has. Do I-- or you-- have gifts, talents and interests that seem incongruous, but somehow together create one exceptionally unique career, much like this daring aerial violinist? How can Ms. Martin\'s unique path help to inform our own search for a fulfilling and interesting career or life?\r\n\r\nFirst of all, Ms. Martin pursued her passions diligently and put in the hard work. Take it from this former music major (who admittedly dropped it only three semesters in to pursue a psychology degree instead), getting into Juilliard doesn\'t happen by doing the bare minimum in your practice sessions. Opportunities to grow, use, and express your talents won\'t open up for you if you aren\'t seeking excellence in whatever it is you do. So, the things you love to do? Learn to do them well. Practice. Practice. And then practice some more.\r\n\r\nMs. Martin also did something a lot of us could do more of: get out there and live life. She didn\'t just sit at home, absorbed in her own brainstorming sessions or creating a mission/purpose/vision statement. No, she was out enjoying life, and it was there, while taking time to attend a Cirque du Soleil show that she found the final inspiration. New experiences, new relationships and new adventures will bring fresh ideas and inspiration. You know what the same old thing brings? More of the same old thing.\r\n\r\nI don\'t have all the answers on how to think outside of the box, as I\'ve gotten myself into some ruts that lasted for years. But at this point in my life, I\'ve realized that life is too short to try to squeeze myself into a box, be it someone else’s or one of my own creation.  And to you, Ms. Martin, I say, \"Bravo.\" You are truly an inspiration.\r\n\r\n<em>Photo courtesy of Silver Dollar City Publicity</em>\r\n<div>\r\n\r\n<hr align=\"left\" size=\"1\" width=\"33%\" />\r\n\r\n<div>\r\n\r\n¹<a href=\"http://www.janicemartin.com/\">www.janicemartin.com</a>\r\n\r\n</div>\r\n<div>\r\n\r\n²Silver Dollar City Publicity (2012). Encore! Returns after Stellar First Season [Press Release].\r\n\r\n</div>\r\n<div>\r\n\r\n³Silver Dollar City Publicity (2012). From Humble Beginnings to Carnegie Hall [Press Release].\r\n\r\n</div>\r\n</div>\r\n&nbsp;','Not Your Ordinary Day Job','','publish','open','open','','not-your-ordinary-day-job','','','2012-01-28 10:02:41','2012-01-28 18:02:41','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4550',0,'post','',1),(4206,149,'2012-01-18 08:00:29','2012-01-18 16:00:29','Hope is an expectation, an inventive vision, a dream. Hope is a desire.\r\n\r\nHope imagines what faith can create and build. Hope is the designer, the architect, the plans on paper; faith is the carpenter that constructs something tangible, something that you can see and touch from what was once only a dream.\r\n\r\nWhen hope is dashed by doubt and fear, love perseveres...and love always has hope!\r\n\r\nFaith, hope and love, a partnership of pursuable, learnable virtue.\r\n\r\nAs a visionary, a dreamer, hope is where I live. I wake up in the morning with hope at my side, having dreamt together all night. I try to spend time with faith and love, but hope I know.\r\n\r\nOne of my most vivid experiences with hope occurred while standing on the most eastern point of Mexico, on a tiny island called Isla Mujeres. It was September 2009, and my soulmate Brandee and I were celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary.\r\n\r\nIf God is love, and love always hopes, than God hopes. So I believe that standing at the edge of the ocean, in the warmth of the sun and of God’s love, he was inspiring me with His hope. Inspiring me to open my heart, our home, and live out our love. He was whispering hope to my soul on the rhythm of the waves.\r\n\r\nAdoption. This was the message of hope that He was nudging into my thoughts. He was making His hope become mine. Somewhere a little girl is hoping for a forever home, and He was bringing her hope to me.\r\n\r\nUp until this time, I’d never considered adding another child to our family, especially not by adoption. I fully supported the concept of adoption of course, but felt it just wasn’t for us. Everything changed on that beautiful beach in Mexico. Hope was sparked. I remember hearing children laughing, looking back at the boardwalk and seeing two little girls playing together, one American and one Mexican. I looked back at the ocean, contemplating the message God was entrancing me with before looking back to the boardwalk, finding that the two little girls from two different cultures had disappeared, their laughter only memory etched in my mind.\r\n\r\nTeary-eyed, I looked back to the waves and watched them slowly roll in and I was amazed at the peace, the vision, the hope that God was filling me with. My wife asked what I was thinking about, and I said, “You wouldn’t believe it...” but went on to share what was happening in my heart. That afternoon, nearly two years ago, we began our hopeful journey of adoption.\r\n\r\nIt hasn’t been an easy journey, and on occasion it feels like we’re in the middle of the ocean with no idea which way to go, but our God is faithful, and He ignites hope when we have none. In Romans 5, we read about how suffering produces perseverance, which produces character, which produces hope.\r\n\r\nSometimes the dark clouds roll in and it becomes difficult to see our destination on the horizon; but it is in those stormy times that we cling to hope. Our daughter is out there, we pray for her to be held safe in the arms of God until we hold her in ours.\r\n\r\n<em>Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23</em>\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Adopting Hope','','publish','open','open','','adopting-hope','','','2012-01-18 09:02:17','2012-01-18 17:02:17','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4206',0,'post','',5),(4207,149,'2012-01-16 19:48:52','2012-01-17 03:48:52','Hope is an expectation, an inventive vision, a dream. Hope is a desire.\n\nHope imagines what faith can create and build. Hope is the designer, the architect, the plans on paper; faith is the carpenter that constructs something tangible, something that you can see and touch from what was once only a dream.\n\nWhen hope is dashed by doubt and fear, love perseveres...and love always has hope!\n\nFaith, hope and love, a partnership of pursuable, learnable virtue.\n\nAs a visionary, a dreamer, hope is where I live. I wake up in the morning with hope at my side, having dreamt together all night. I try to spend time with faith and love, but hope I know.\n\nOne of my most vivid experiences with hope occurred while standing on the most eastern point of Mexico, on a tiny island called Isla Mujeres. It was September 2009, and my soulmate Brandee and I were celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary.\n\nIf God is love, and love always hopes, than God hopes. So I believe that standing at the edge of the ocean, in the warmth of the sun and of God’s love, he was inspiring me with His hope. Inspiring me to open my heart, our home, and live out our love. He was whispering hope to my soul on the rhythm of the waves.\n\nAdoption. This was the message of hope that He was nudging into my thoughts. He was making His hope become mine. Somewhere a little girl is hoping for a forever home, and He was bringing her hope to me.\n\nUp until this time, I’d never considered adding another child to our family, especially not by adoption. I fully supported the concept of adoption of course, but felt it just wasn’t for us. Everything changed on that beautiful beach in Mexico. Hope was sparked. I remember hearing children laughing, looking back at the boardwalk and seeing two little girls playing together, one American and one Mexican. I looked back at the ocean, contemplating the message God was entrancing me with before looking back to the boardwalk, finding that the two little girls from two different cultures had disappeared, their laughter only memory etched in my mind.\n\nTeary-eyed, I looked back to the waves and watched them slowly roll in and I was amazed at the peace, the vision, the hope that God was filling me with. My wife asked what I was thinking about, and I said, “You wouldn’t believe it...” but went on to share what was happening in my heart. That afternoon, nearly two years ago, we began our hopeful journey of adoption.\n\nIt hasn’t been an easy journey, and on occasion it feels like we’re in the middle of the ocean with no idea which way to go, but our God is faithful, and He ignites hope when we have none. In Romans 5, we read about how suffering produces perseverance, which produces character, which produces hope.\n\nSometimes the dark clouds roll in and it becomes difficult to see our destination on the horizon; but it is in those stormy times that we cling to hope.\n\n<em>Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23</em>','Adopting Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4206-revision','','','2012-01-16 19:48:52','2012-01-17 03:48:52','',4206,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4206-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4208,140,'2012-01-16 19:52:18','2012-01-17 03:52:18','','1361206_brotherhood_at_sunset__2','','inherit','open','open','','1361206_brotherhood_at_sunset__2','','','2012-01-16 19:52:18','2012-01-17 03:52:18','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1361206_brotherhood_at_sunset__2.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4209,149,'2012-01-16 19:57:15','2012-01-17 03:57:15','Hope is an expectation, an inventive vision, a dream. Hope is a desire.\n\nHope imagines what faith can create and build. Hope is the designer, the architect, the plans on paper; faith is the carpenter that constructs something tangible, something that you can see and touch from what was once only a dream.\n\nWhen hope is dashed by doubt and fear, love perseveres...and love always has hope!\n\nFaith, hope and love, a partnership of pursuable, learnable virtue.\n\nAs a visionary, a dreamer, hope is where I live. I wake up in the morning with hope at my side, having dreamt together all night. I try to spend time with faith and love, but hope I know.\n\nOne of my most vivid experiences with hope occurred while standing on the most eastern point of Mexico, on a tiny island called Isla Mujeres. It was September 2009, and my soulmate Brandee and I were celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary.\n\nIf God is love, and love always hopes, than God hopes. So I believe that standing at the edge of the ocean, in the warmth of the sun and of God’s love, he was inspiring me with His hope. Inspiring me to open my heart, our home, and live out our love. He was whispering hope to my soul on the rhythm of the waves.\n\nAdoption. This was the message of hope that He was nudging into my thoughts. He was making His hope become mine. Somewhere a little girl is hoping for a forever home, and He was bringing her hope to me.\n\nUp until this time, I’d never considered adding another child to our family, especially not by adoption. I fully supported the concept of adoption of course, but felt it just wasn’t for us. Everything changed on that beautiful beach in Mexico. Hope was sparked. I remember hearing children laughing, looking back at the boardwalk and seeing two little girls playing together, one American and one Mexican. I looked back at the ocean, contemplating the message God was entrancing me with before looking back to the boardwalk, finding that the two little girls from two different cultures had disappeared, their laughter only memory etched in my mind.\n\nTeary-eyed, I looked back to the waves and watched them slowly roll in and I was amazed at the peace, the vision, the hope that God was filling me with. My wife asked what I was thinking about, and I said, “You wouldn’t believe it...” but went on to share what was happening in my heart. That afternoon, nearly two years ago, we began our hopeful journey of adoption.\n\nIt hasn’t been an easy journey, and on occasion it feels like we’re in the middle of the ocean with no idea which way to go, but our God is faithful, and He ignites hope when we have none. In Romans 5, we read about how suffering produces perseverance, which produces character, which produces hope.\n\nSometimes the dark clouds roll in and it becomes difficult to see our destination on the horizon; but it is in those stormy times that we cling to hope. Our daughter is out there, we pray for her to be held safe in the arms of God until we hold her in ours.\n\n<em>Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23</em>','Adopting Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4206-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 19:57:15','2012-01-17 03:57:15','',4206,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4206-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4969,43,'2012-01-26 10:17:43','2012-01-26 18:17:43','I think this has already made the rounds; perhaps my friends are behind the curve.  Several of my friends have posted this picture\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Ecomomics-guy.jpg\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-4689\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Ecomomics-guy-300x201.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\naccompanied by the following text (it\'s long, but worth the read):\r\n<blockquote>An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama\'s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.  The professor then said, \"OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama\'s plan\". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars—something closer to home and more readily understood by all).  After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.  The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.  Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.\r\n\r\nThese are possibly the 5 best sentences you\'ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:\r\n1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.\r\n2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.\r\n3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.\r\n4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!\r\n5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.</blockquote>\r\n<div> I\'m not going to address the sneering attitude toward President Obama or the misassociation of our President with this oversimplified version of socialism.  Instead, I will focus on the \"5 best sentences.\"</div>\r\n<div></div>\r\n<div><strong>1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.</strong>  I\'m not sure which part of this materialistic sentiment bothers me most—the implication that \"the poor\" are poor by choice, or that prosperity is the highest goal.</div>\r\n<div>\r\n<strong> 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.</strong>  So are all poor people lazy?\r\n<strong> 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.</strong>  True.  Which means that if you didn\'t pay for the roads to be paved, you probably shouldn\'t be driving on them.  I guess that rules out travel to another state.</div>\r\n<div>\r\n<strong> 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!</strong>  Who wants to multiply wealth?  I thought the issue was dividing it.</div>\r\n<div>\r\n<strong>5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.  </strong>When half the nation gets the idea that we can \"whip those poor people into shape,\" the other half calls it \"slavery.\"</div>\r\n<div></div>\r\n<div>When my friends are old, and they can\'t get Social Security, or when they are sick and can\'t work, or when they get laid off from their jobs, I\'m going to remind them of this attitude.  After all, they\'re not paying into the system.  Why should they receive any benefits from it?<strong>\r\n</strong></div>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<div><strong>\r\n</strong></div>','The Mythology of Economics','','inherit','open','open','','4688-revision-2','','','2012-01-26 10:17:43','2012-01-26 18:17:43','',4688,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/26/4688-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4211,76,'2012-01-18 10:30:30','2012-01-18 18:30:30','<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-4216\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"350\" /></a>I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted, I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their consciences so that nothing can possibly tear out their dreams. I want their roots to grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their experience of love and grace, and how they are God\'s dear children.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally and miraculously fulfilled, when we were cautiously optimistic, when they showed up and stole my heart and changed everything, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out even if the world around me stayed the same. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can and do hope andwork for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nSo, the timing of this post is serendipitous because who else to inspire hope more than MLK Jr? My 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry. There\'s hope for all of us, particularly the maladjusted, which I count myself to be wholeheartedly. I hope the babies feel free to do so in the future, too, no matter what others say or expect of them, as they grow into God\'s beloved, and share God\'s love and compassion with others.\r\n\r\n{Photo from <a href=\"http://www.etsy.com/listing/71493674/romance-sweet-love-heart-hands-wedding?ref=sr_gallery_8&amp;sref=&amp;ga_search_submit=&amp;ga_search_query=holding+hands&amp;ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_ship_to=US&amp;ga_view_type=gallery&amp;ga_page=3&amp;ga_search_type=handmade&amp;ga_facet=handmade\">Etsy</a>}','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','publish','open','open','','hope-in-the-hands-of-the-creatively-maladjusted','','','2012-01-18 10:30:30','2012-01-18 18:30:30','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4211',0,'post','',4),(4212,140,'2012-01-16 20:08:40','2012-01-17 04:08:40','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, sometimes something wonderful breaks into it all to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. Our dinner companions are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. Along with the delicious food, wine and conversation, we were each served heaping platefuls of hope. Before getting together, we decided that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret the circumstances around us in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how does the church respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” We recognized that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-5','','','2012-01-16 20:08:40','2012-01-17 04:08:40','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4216,76,'2012-01-16 20:24:28','2012-01-17 04:24:28','','Hands','','inherit','open','open','','hands','','','2012-01-16 20:24:28','2012-01-17 04:24:28','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4213,76,'2012-01-16 20:18:32','2012-01-17 04:18:32','I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\n\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\n\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their conscience so that nothing can tear out their dreams, and their roots grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their sense of love and grace.\n\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\n\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally fulfilled, and we were cautiously optimistic, and they showed up and stole my heart, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\n\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can hope for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\n\nMy 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\"','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision','','','2012-01-16 20:18:32','2012-01-17 04:18:32','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4211-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4214,76,'2012-01-16 20:19:11','2012-01-17 04:19:11','I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their conscience so that nothing can tear out their dreams, and their roots grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their sense of love and grace.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally fulfilled, and we were cautiously optimistic, and they showed up and stole my heart, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can hope for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nMy 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry.','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 20:19:11','2012-01-17 04:19:11','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4211-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4215,140,'2012-01-16 20:18:56','2012-01-17 04:18:56','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then  something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. Our dinner companions are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine and conversation, we each were surprised by heaping platefuls of hope. Beforehand, we had decided that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret the circumstances around us in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how does the church respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” We recognized that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-6','','','2012-01-16 20:18:56','2012-01-17 04:18:56','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4217,140,'2012-01-16 20:25:02','2012-01-17 04:25:02','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then  something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. Our dinner companions are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, beforehand we had decided that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how does the church respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-7','','','2012-01-16 20:25:02','2012-01-17 04:25:02','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(4220,140,'2012-01-16 20:32:19','2012-01-17 04:32:19','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-10','','','2012-01-16 20:32:19','2012-01-17 04:32:19','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(4218,140,'2012-01-16 20:25:07','2012-01-17 04:25:07','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then  something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\r\n\r\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. Our dinner companions are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, beforehand we had decided that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\r\n\r\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\r\n\r\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how does the church respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\r\n\r\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\r\n\r\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\r\n\r\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\r\n\r\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\r\n\r\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\r\n\r\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\r\n\r\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\r\n\r\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-8','','','2012-01-16 20:25:07','2012-01-17 04:25:07','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(4219,140,'2012-01-16 20:25:30','2012-01-17 04:25:30','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then  something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\r\n\r\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. Our dinner companions are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, beforehand we had decided that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\r\n\r\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\r\n\r\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how does the church respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\r\n\r\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\r\n\r\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\r\n\r\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\r\n\r\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\r\n\r\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\r\n\r\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\r\n\r\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\r\n\r\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divinia, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-9','','','2012-01-16 20:25:30','2012-01-17 04:25:30','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(4221,140,'2012-01-16 20:35:14','2012-01-17 04:35:14','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-11','','','2012-01-16 20:35:14','2012-01-17 04:35:14','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(4223,140,'2012-01-16 20:38:16','2012-01-17 04:38:16','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-12','','','2012-01-16 20:38:16','2012-01-17 04:38:16','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-12/',0,'revision','',0),(4222,76,'2012-01-16 20:19:34','2012-01-17 04:19:34','I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their conscience so that nothing can tear out their dreams, and their roots grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their sense of love and grace.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally fulfilled, and we were cautiously optimistic, and they showed up and stole my heart, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can hope for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nMy 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry.','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 20:19:34','2012-01-17 04:19:34','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4211-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4224,76,'2012-01-16 20:38:03','2012-01-17 04:38:03','<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-4216\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"350\" /></a>I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted, I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their consciences so that nothing can possibly tear out their dreams. I want their roots to grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their experience of love and grace, and how they are God\'s dear children.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally and miraculously fulfilled, when we were cautiously optimistic, when they showed up and stole my heart and changed everything, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out even if the world around me stayed the same. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can and do hope andwork for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nSo, the timing of this post is serendipitous because who else to inspire hope more than MLK Jr? My 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry. There\'s hope for all of us, particularly the maladjusted, which I count myself to be wholeheartedly. I hope the babies feel free to do so in the future, too, no matter what others say or expect of them, as they grow into God\'s beloved, and share God\'s love and compassion with others.\r\n\r\n[Photo from <a href=\"http://www.etsy.com/listing/71493674/romance-sweet-love-heart-hands-wedding?ref=sr_gallery_8&amp;sref=&amp;ga_search_submit=&amp;ga_search_query=holding+hands&amp;ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_ship_to=US&amp;ga_view_type=gallery&amp;ga_page=3&amp;ga_search_type=handmade&amp;ga_facet=handmade\">Etsy</a>]','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision-4','','','2012-01-16 20:38:03','2012-01-17 04:38:03','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4211-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4225,140,'2012-01-17 11:11:46','2012-01-17 19:11:46','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\n\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates was also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\n\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\n\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\n\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\n\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\n\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\n\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\n\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\n\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\n\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\n\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope Is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-autosave','','','2012-01-17 11:11:46','2012-01-17 19:11:46','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4226,136,'2012-01-18 08:00:12','2012-01-18 16:00:12','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means an identity and lifestyle  shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into an ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Paradox, Hope and Revival','','publish','open','open','','paradox-hope-and-revival','','','2012-01-18 09:15:34','2012-01-18 17:15:34','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4226',0,'post','',0),(4227,136,'2012-01-16 22:56:47','2012-01-17 06:56:47','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\n\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means my identity and lifestyle is shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\n\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into a ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from &lt;i&gt;City to City&lt;/i&gt;, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\n\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\n\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\n\nWhat brings me hope? Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\n\nI\'ve found myself on the other side of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\n\nSo I\'m hoping to emerge from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision','','','2012-01-16 22:56:47','2012-01-17 06:56:47','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4228,136,'2012-01-16 22:59:23','2012-01-17 06:59:23','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\n\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means my identity and lifestyle is shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\n\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into a ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\n\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\n\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\n\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\n\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\n\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 22:59:23','2012-01-17 06:59:23','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4230,1,'2012-01-17 08:55:55','2012-01-17 16:55:55','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means an identity and lifestyle  shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into an ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','Paradox, Hope and Revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-autosave','','','2012-01-17 08:55:55','2012-01-17 16:55:55','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4229,136,'2012-01-16 23:04:11','2012-01-17 07:04:11','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means my identity and lifestyle is shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into a ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 23:04:11','2012-01-17 07:04:11','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4231,136,'2012-01-16 23:07:09','2012-01-17 07:07:09','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means my identity and lifestyle is shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into a ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision-4','','','2012-01-16 23:07:09','2012-01-17 07:07:09','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4232,136,'2012-01-16 23:10:06','2012-01-17 07:10:06','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means an identity and lifestyle  shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into an ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision-5','','','2012-01-16 23:10:06','2012-01-17 07:10:06','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4233,139,'2012-01-18 08:00:34','2012-01-18 16:00:34','I read. All sorts and types of things. I read people who agree with me, people who disagree with me, people who almost or mostly do one or the other.\r\n\r\nI read for work. The Bible, I hope obviously; liturgies and about them; sermons, my own and others; theology; social and political commentary; current events; and anything else that will make me think, make me stretch, help me better understand people, help me better articulate a faith which is beyond words.\r\n\r\nI read for fun (and sanity). Fiction—most often science fiction, but also mysteries, horror (it has be really good), and whatever else I find and enjoy. Poetry because I fall in love with a well-turned phrase. Memoirs because I love learning about how others experience their lives.\r\n\r\nI read.\r\n\r\nRight now, in this season of my life, a season with more than <a href=\"//theologybird.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/layers-of-grief/\">a little grief</a>, a time when it is challenging to remain optimistic, I\'m reading for a new reason. I\'m reading for hope. I\'ve survived tough times before. Often enough that I sometimes thing that between all of the fingerprints, hand impressions, and nail troughs I have made trying to hang on to faith, hope, and love, I should have gotten better at it. More dextrous. More able to secret away the right-sized portion to sustain me.\r\n\r\nInstead I\'m bookmarking my way through hope. Literally bookmarking my way through Jurgen Moltman\'s <em>Theology of Hope</em>. Underlining passages and scribbling notes on my bookmark. I am a thorough reader.\r\n\r\nAs I work to pastor and serve my congregation through change, trying to bring to our times together the right combination of my very real grief and the eternal reassurance that nothing is lost in God, I need someone else to remind me of those things.\r\n\r\nI need the voice of Moltmann, a German theologian, alive but only real to me through words on the pages in front of me. I need him to remind me that God, while keeping us firmly in the present, calls us into a hope and a future that leave all Christians disquieted. I need to be reminded, in the midst of my now, that “hope casts [me] upon the future that is not yet.” (pg 26)\r\n\r\nBecause hope is hard. It is hard, in the face of the loss and grief which are so common in this world, to continue to stand on the eternal reassurance of God\'s promises. It is hard, after the kind of long day which leaves one feeling empty to rise the next morning ready to praise and serve.\r\n\r\nAnd it is harder yet to continue to believe that these things are necessary, that they are the actions of faith. That they are hopeful. But they are. And even though I know this, I still need Moltmann\'s word to remind me that, “Faith and love are timeless acts which remove us out of time, because they make us wholly \'present\'.” (pg 30)\r\n\r\nThe joy of a book is that it will be wholly present to you just as you need it be. So no one minds as I make my way through <em>Theology of Hope</em> far more slowly than I usually read, savoring the words, sustaining myself on the reminders that hope is not only worth holding onto, but still being held out for me to grab.  Right now, Moltmann and his <em>Theology of Hope</em> is saving me.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Good Theology Saves','','publish','open','open','','good-theology-saves','','','2012-01-18 09:00:46','2012-01-18 17:00:46','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4233',0,'post','',2),(4234,139,'2012-01-16 23:54:57','2012-01-17 07:54:57','I read. All sorts and types of things. I read people who agree with me, people who disagree with me, people who almost or mostly do one or the other.\n\nI read for work. The Bible, I hope obviously; liturgies and about them; sermons, my own and others; theology; social and political commentary; current events; and anything else that will make me think, make me stretch, help me better understand people, help me better articulate a faith which is beyond words.\n\nI read for fun (and sanity). Fiction—most often science fiction, but also mysteries, horror (it has be really good), and whatever else I find and enjoy. Poetry because I fall in love with a well-turned phrase. Memoirs because I love learning about how others experience their lives.\n\nI read.\n\nRight now, in this season of my life, a season with more than <a href=\"//theologybird.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/layers-of-grief/\">a little grief</a>, a time when it is challenging to remain optimistic, I\'m reading for a new reason. I\'m reading for hope. I\'ve survived tough times before. Often enough that I sometimes thing that between all of the fingerprints, hand impressions, and nail troughs I have made trying to hang on to faith, hope, and love, I should have gotten better at it. More dextrous. More able to secret away the right-sized portion to sustain me.\n\nInstead I\'m bookmarking my way through hope. Literally bookmarking my way through Jurgen Moltman\'s <em>Theology of Hope</em>. Underlining passages and scribbling notes on my bookmark. I am a thorough reader.\n\nAs I work to pastor and serve my congregation through change, trying to bring to our times together the right combination of my very real grief and the eternal reassurance that nothing is lost in God, I need someone else to remind me of those things.\n\nI need the voice of Moltmann, a German theologian, alive but only real to me through words on the pages in front of me. I need him to remind me that God, while keeping us firmly in the present, calls us into a hope and a future that leave all Christians disquieted. I need to be reminded, in the midst of my now, that “hope casts [me] upon the future that is not yet.” (pg 26)\n\nBecause hope is hard. It is hard, in the face of the loss and grief which are so common in this world, to continue to stand on the eternal reassurance of God\'s promises. It is hard, after the kind of long day which leaves one feeling empty to rise the next morning ready to praise and serve.\n\nAnd it is harder yet to continue to believe that these things are necessary, that they are the actions of faith. That they are hopeful. But they are. And even though I know this, I still need Moltmann\'s word to remind me that, “Faith and love are timeless acts which remove us out of time, because they make us wholly \'present\'.” (pg 30)\n\nThe joy of a book is that it will be wholly present to you just as you need it be. So no one minds as I make my way through <em>Theology of Hope</em> far more slowly than I usually read, savoring the words, sustaining myself on the reminders that hope is not only worth holding onto, but still being held out for me to grab.  Right now, Moltmann and his <em>Theology of Hope</em>','Good Theology Saves','','inherit','open','open','','4233-revision','','','2012-01-16 23:54:57','2012-01-17 07:54:57','',4233,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4233-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4235,139,'2012-01-16 23:55:09','2012-01-17 07:55:09','I read. All sorts and types of things. I read people who agree with me, people who disagree with me, people who almost or mostly do one or the other.\r\n\r\nI read for work. The Bible, I hope obviously; liturgies and about them; sermons, my own and others; theology; social and political commentary; current events; and anything else that will make me think, make me stretch, help me better understand people, help me better articulate a faith which is beyond words.\r\n\r\nI read for fun (and sanity). Fiction—most often science fiction, but also mysteries, horror (it has be really good), and whatever else I find and enjoy. Poetry because I fall in love with a well-turned phrase. Memoirs because I love learning about how others experience their lives.\r\n\r\nI read.\r\n\r\nRight now, in this season of my life, a season with more than <a href=\"//theologybird.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/layers-of-grief/\">a little grief</a>, a time when it is challenging to remain optimistic, I\'m reading for a new reason. I\'m reading for hope. I\'ve survived tough times before. Often enough that I sometimes thing that between all of the fingerprints, hand impressions, and nail troughs I have made trying to hang on to faith, hope, and love, I should have gotten better at it. More dextrous. More able to secret away the right-sized portion to sustain me.\r\n\r\nInstead I\'m bookmarking my way through hope. Literally bookmarking my way through Jurgen Moltman\'s <em>Theology of Hope</em>. Underlining passages and scribbling notes on my bookmark. I am a thorough reader.\r\n\r\nAs I work to pastor and serve my congregation through change, trying to bring to our times together the right combination of my very real grief and the eternal reassurance that nothing is lost in God, I need someone else to remind me of those things.\r\n\r\nI need the voice of Moltmann, a German theologian, alive but only real to me through words on the pages in front of me. I need him to remind me that God, while keeping us firmly in the present, calls us into a hope and a future that leave all Christians disquieted. I need to be reminded, in the midst of my now, that “hope casts [me] upon the future that is not yet.” (pg 26)\r\n\r\nBecause hope is hard. It is hard, in the face of the loss and grief which are so common in this world, to continue to stand on the eternal reassurance of God\'s promises. It is hard, after the kind of long day which leaves one feeling empty to rise the next morning ready to praise and serve.\r\n\r\nAnd it is harder yet to continue to believe that these things are necessary, that they are the actions of faith. That they are hopeful. But they are. And even though I know this, I still need Moltmann\'s word to remind me that, “Faith and love are timeless acts which remove us out of time, because they make us wholly \'present\'.” (pg 30)\r\n\r\nThe joy of a book is that it will be wholly present to you just as you need it be. So no one minds as I make my way through <em>Theology of Hope</em> far more slowly than I usually read, savoring the words, sustaining myself on the reminders that hope is not only worth holding onto, but still being held out for me to grab.  Right now, Moltmann and his <em>Theology of Hope</em> is saving me.','Good Theology Saves','','inherit','open','open','','4233-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 23:55:09','2012-01-17 07:55:09','',4233,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4233-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4236,0,'2012-01-17 01:50:13','2012-01-17 09:50:13','Hmm... most of the above. Though not so much on growth. I\'m still applying salicylic acid to mine.\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: K.W. Leslie\nAUTHOR EMAIL: kw.leslie@gmail.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://morechrist.blogspot.com\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 71.198.65.89\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; K.W. Leslie\n    [Email] =&gt; kw.leslie@gmail.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; morechrist.blogspot.com\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; Hmm... most of the above. Though not so much on growth. I\'m still applying salicylic acid to mine.\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; kwleslie\n)\n','K.W. Leslie - 2012-01-17 01:50:13','','publish','open','open','','daf3f23b5cbadcf1281d6b4b17912843','','','2012-01-17 01:50:13','2012-01-17 09:50:13','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4236',0,'feedback','',0),(4237,1,'2012-01-17 08:05:49','2012-01-17 16:05:49','','long road','','inherit','open','open','','long-road','','','2012-01-17 08:05:49','2012-01-17 16:05:49','',4187,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/long-road.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4238,1,'2012-01-16 16:35:44','2012-01-17 00:35:44','<blockquote><em><a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-3573\" src=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Maurice-HOPE-197x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"197\" height=\"300\" align=\"right\" /></a>Maurice woke up from yet another night of nightmares, his pillow once again soaked with sweat as he waited for the images to fade into dim memory.  Checking the time, it was only 7:40 a.m. and once again, there were no messages for him.  So once again, he laid in bed and let the feeling of helplessness and rejection wash over him.  He liked to give it full reign for about a half hour before he pulled together the will to once again face another day.</em>\r\n\r\n<em>With something approximating optimism, he got dressed.  He couldn’t muster the energy to go through the complete ritual of shaving and showering, because in his heart when he believed no one wanted him, he didn’t bother.  But he had his plan and he planned on working it.  Searching for a job meant treating the act itself like a job.  So he otherwise prepared himself, went through the rest of his getting-ready-for-work ritual and prepared to face his day.</em>\r\n\r\n<em>Most days it was hard enough pulling himself out of bed rather than giving into the depression which always threatened to suck him into its waiting embrace.  The family’s anxiety level rose, conflating with his own.  The thing about anxiety was the toxic cloud it created, leaking into the fabric of everyday life like a creeping entropy.   So each morning begins by answering the questions “what’s the point?” and “where is the hope?”</em></blockquote>\r\nI lost my job in December of 2009.  I’ve done odd jobs here and there from <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=2626\">freelance writing</a> to <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=3089\">substitute teaching</a>, but I haven’t had anything steady in over two years.   Prolonged unemployment can do strange things to your sense of self-worth.  You start listening to all of the voices that run around in the back of your head about how no one wants you or you’re not good for anything.  After a while you have to come up with good reasons to even get up because you begin to lose hope.   Hope is one of those ephemeral things, intertwined with faith and just as fragile.  Some days it flares like the sun and others I have to turn off all the lights so that I can catch a glimpse of the embers.  So each day I get to remind myself  of all of the reasons I have to keep getting up:\r\n\r\n-A beautiful wife who even after eleven years loves me better than I do myself.\r\n\r\n-Two knucklehead boys who seem to have their own R&amp;D department committed to finding new ways to get into mischief, who also depend on me.\r\n\r\n-Some of the best friends a man could ask for.\r\n\r\n-Good health.\r\n\r\n-And a continued sense of hope.\r\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: .0001pt;line-height: 12.75pt;background: white\"><span style=\"font-size: 9pt;font-family: Verdana, sans-serif\">Sometimes the dark circumstances are the exact times that God uses to transform us.  We feel that God is not at work, that He has abandoned us, and it is the belief that all of our cries are going unanswered that causes us the greatest pain. We need encouragement to endure this time.  Look, true faith is not without hardships, nor is it all that pragmatic. So when problems arise, there are no pat answers. There are no steps. It sucks. We have to hold on and endure it. These times of crisis will either break us and cause us to abandon God or break us down and draw us nearer to Him.</span></p>\r\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: .0001pt;line-height: 12.75pt;background: white\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;font-size: 9pt;background-color: white;line-height: 12.75pt\">A lot of times we place our love and faith in the wrong things (or good things that aren’t the best things), confusing our spiritual ideas with some distorted ideas of God. Sometimes it takes a loss of control to remind us, to re-shape us. Hopefully we will figure out what’s really important about our faith and walk, and be led to deeper faith.</span></p>\r\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: .0001pt;line-height: 12.75pt;background: white\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;font-size: 9pt;background-color: white;line-height: 12.75pt\">The key is to be vulnerable, but still believe in my darkest moments of unbelief.  I need to remember to go before God without pretending. Be broken, empty, terrified. Be honest with my pain, rather than put it behind me. Relief comes through honest dialogue. The more doubt expresses itself, the more it is allowed to be exposed, the easier it can be dealt with. Rather than keeping it inside, eating away at me like cancer.  God is sitting shiv’ah with us during our dark nights of the soul. Grieving with us. Restoring us. In that we need to have, and can find, hope.</span></p>\r\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin-bottom: .0001pt;line-height: 12.75pt;background: white\">My hope is that <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/?p=954\">God is not through with me yet</a> and that I still have not only gifts but also a job to do.  Even without full-time employment, I still have worth and can join in God’s missing to reconcile people to one another and to Him.  To continue to make this world a better place.  The story we find ourselves in shouldn\'t be reduced to we sin and God forgives, but that we’re children of God’s, co-heirs with Jesus, called to a life of joy. We are to make His life our own, transforming us, sometimes through the refining fire of pain, to look like Him, as children come to resemble their parents.  My hope is in that story.  My hope is in the story of redemption available for each and every one of us.  And that in recognizing our mutual need for redemption, we view one another with mercy and a measure of grace.</p>\r\nThe story of my faith is a hope that life, with it pains and joys, laughter and tears, matters.  Hope that relationships are eternal and reconciliation is possible.  Hope that we are significant and matter.  Hope that we are known, all of our good, all of our bad, through what we’ve done and for what we could be.  Hope that we are loved, as we are for who we are.  And all of that give me hope to get up in the morning, face another day, and dream anew of what could be.','Keeping Hope Alive','','inherit','open','open','','4187-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 16:35:44','2012-01-17 00:35:44','',4187,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4187-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4240,1,'2012-01-17 08:12:38','2012-01-17 16:12:38','','bird of hope','','inherit','open','open','','bird-of-hope','','','2012-01-17 08:12:38','2012-01-17 16:12:38','',4196,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bird-of-hope.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4241,1,'2012-01-16 17:29:30','2012-01-17 01:29:30','A few weeks ago I posted this prayer on <a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/Light-for-the-Journey/143510882359774\">facebook:</a>\r\n<blockquote>‎”Jesus may we see in you the ways of life,\r\nMay we love justice, show mercy, practice generosity,\r\nAnd love our neighbours as we do ourselves.”</blockquote>\r\nSomeone called these lofty but admirable goals.  On a similar post several months ago someone else called it admirable idealism and another commented – impossible.  What kind of hope fills our lives How sad when God\'s hope for a world made new are viewed in this way.\r\n\r\nLove of neighbour, generosity, mercy and justice are at the heart of the gospel and the backbone of the commands that Jesus invites us to live by.  They are the fabric that is meant to shape our lives. At least that is what we tell people or pretend to believe, but underneath do we really think that they are unattainable idealism? Have we lost hope in what God plans to accomplish?\r\n\r\nHow we live is driven by who we are and what we believe.  Asking people to love their neighbours and forgive their enemies is pointless unless we first enable them to confront their inner disbelief in the attainability of these goals.  Sure we will never love our neighbours as well as we should and forgiving enemies can be very, very hard but if don’t believe it is possible we will never move an inch towards this seemingly unattainable goal.\r\n\r\nOne of my great role models in this struggle is the apostile John His story is one of the greatest stories of hope in the Bible. We first meet in Mark 3:17 as one of the Sons of Thunder.  I suspect he must have had a pretty fiery temper to be given that name. By the end of the New Testament he known as the Apostle of love.\r\n\r\nWhat an incredible transformation of heart, spirit and life that must have taken place.  And I don’t think that it is surprising that we also hear him called “the disciple that Jesus loved” (John 21: 20).  The closer we walk with Jesus, the more intimately we enter into the love of his presence, the more possibility we have of being transformed and the more possibility we have of loving justice, showing mercy, practicing generosity and loving our neighbours as we do ourselves.\r\n\r\nSo what do you think?  Is the hope we have in Jesus message attainable idealism or is it a powerful vision of hope and promise for a world transformed and a people reborn?','Are We Afraid to Hope? ','','inherit','open','open','','4196-revision-2','','','2012-01-16 17:29:30','2012-01-17 01:29:30','',4196,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4196-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4242,1,'2012-01-17 08:13:04','2012-01-17 16:13:04','A few weeks ago I posted this prayer on <a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/Light-for-the-Journey/143510882359774\">facebook:</a>\r\n<blockquote>‎”Jesus may we see in you the ways of life,\r\nMay we love justice, show mercy, practice generosity,\r\nAnd love our neighbours as we do ourselves.”</blockquote>\r\nSomeone called these lofty but admirable goals.  On a similar post several months ago someone else called it admirable idealism and another commented – impossible.  What kind of hope fills our lives How sad when God\'s hope for a world made new are viewed in this way.\r\n\r\nLove of neighbour, generosity, mercy and justice are at the heart of the gospel and the backbone of the commands that Jesus invites us to live by.  They are the fabric that is meant to shape our lives. At least that is what we tell people or pretend to believe, but underneath do we really think that they are unattainable idealism? Have we lost hope in what God plans to accomplish?\r\n\r\nHow we live is driven by who we are and what we believe.  Asking people to love their neighbours and forgive their enemies is pointless unless we first enable them to confront their inner disbelief in the attainability of these goals.  Sure we will never love our neighbours as well as we should and forgiving enemies can be very, very hard but if don’t believe it is possible we will never move an inch towards this seemingly unattainable goal.\r\n\r\nOne of my great role models in this struggle is the apostile John His story is one of the greatest stories of hope in the Bible. We first meet in Mark 3:17 as one of the Sons of Thunder.  I suspect he must have had a pretty fiery temper to be given that name. By the end of the New Testament he known as the Apostle of love.\r\n\r\nWhat an incredible transformation of heart, spirit and life that must have taken place.  And I don’t think that it is surprising that we also hear him called “the disciple that Jesus loved” (John 21: 20).  The closer we walk with Jesus, the more intimately we enter into the love of his presence, the more possibility we have of being transformed and the more possibility we have of loving justice, showing mercy, practicing generosity and loving our neighbours as we do ourselves.\r\n\r\nSo what do you think?  Is the hope we have in Jesus message attainable idealism or is it a powerful vision of hope and promise for a world transformed and a people reborn?','Are We Afraid to Hope? ','','inherit','open','open','','4196-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 08:13:04','2012-01-17 16:13:04','',4196,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4196-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4243,1,'2012-01-16 17:00:54','2012-01-17 01:00:54','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/where-is-my-hope/\">Where Is My Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://jonathanbrink.com\" target=\"_blank\">Jonathan Brink</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-8','','','2012-01-16 17:00:54','2012-01-17 01:00:54','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4042-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(4244,1,'2012-01-17 08:29:50','2012-01-17 16:29:50','','old bicycle','','inherit','open','open','','old-bicycle','','','2012-01-17 08:29:50','2012-01-17 16:29:50','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/old-bicycle.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4245,1,'2012-01-16 17:54:23','2012-01-17 01:54:23','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\r\n\r\n<strong>At times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel.</strong> With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\r\n\r\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\r\n\r\n<strong>As a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist.</strong> How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\r\n\r\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\r\n\r\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\r\n\r\n<strong>Yet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant.</strong> I should find my hope in him.\r\n\r\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\r\n\r\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? <strong>Where do I place my hope?</strong>\r\n\r\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\r\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\r\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\r\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\r\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\r\n\r\n<strong>I fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism.</strong> Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\r\n\r\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.','On wobbly wheels, split churches and fear ','','inherit','open','open','','4198-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 17:54:23','2012-01-17 01:54:23','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4198-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4246,1,'2012-01-17 08:30:53','2012-01-17 16:30:53','My church is going through a difficult time. Changes have been in the air for months and not everyone is happy.\r\n\r\n<strong>At times, it’s felt like riding a bicycle with a bad wheel.</strong> With each revolution forward, the frame wobbles, and another piece falls off, bouncing away. Other pieces stay put, and for that God-given stubborn resolve to hang on, the bike hasn’t collapsed. Each week brings a change: another missing face in the pew, or another announcement of a change intended to help the situation.\r\n\r\nRight now, I’m caught between desire to flee and knowing this won’t help. As a pre-teen, I watched from afar as my childhood church split. My faith was shaken to the core. <em>How could these grownups, who claim to know a God of love and peace, treat each other so horribly?</em> I wondered.\r\n\r\n<strong>As a sophomore at a Christian college, I contemplated rejecting my faith and becoming an atheist.</strong> How much of that mental and emotional turmoil was my undiagnosed bipolar issues and how much was a genuine dark night of the soul, I don’t know. But that church split was a factor.\r\n\r\nSo I know running won’t help anything. Not being at the epicenter of an earthquake doesn’t mean I’m not still impacted by the waves, and I can’t escape the quaking ground under my feet. Each time I hear about another person leaving or hear about an argument, I’m reminded of the two church splits I’ve watched, and I grow increasingly fearful.\r\n\r\nI long for the past. I fear the future. This middle part, the here and now, is all about change. It’s a giant question mark. And with each change, I’m tugged between past and future, longing and fear.\r\n\r\n<strong>Yet the One who defines himself as <em>I Am</em>, present tense, outside this tug of war between past and  future, is the only constant.</strong> I should find my hope in him.\r\n\r\nI know this intellectually. But in reality, I want my church to be the same place it was when I came there eight years ago. I want to shake the change-makers and the change-haters and tell them that their arguments are making me fearful, unsettled, even though the fear is my issue, not theirs. <em>“Don’t you know what you’re doing to my faith?”</em> I want to say.\r\n\r\nAnd the question stops me. Who is my faith in: the unchanging, perfect God or a church of changing, imperfect people? <strong>Where do I place my hope?</strong>\r\n\r\nI’m reminded of some lines from the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser. At the end of his famous <em>Mutabilitie Cantos</em>, where he writes about change and chaos and constancy, he muses about the future time when change will cease:\r\n<blockquote>But thence-forth all shall rest eternally\r\nWith Him that is the God of Sabbaoth hight:\r\nO that great Sabbaoth God, graunt me that Sabaoths sight.</blockquote>\r\nRoughly paraphrased: <em>Then all shall rest with the Lord of Hosts . . . God, grant me the sight of that day of eternal rest.</em>\r\n\r\n<strong>I fell in love with these lines the same semester I contemplated atheism.</strong> Somehow, even with their formal syntax and strange spelling, they spoke to me about hope. I won’t say that they saved my faith; I didn’t truly understand Spenser’s intent or his wordplay when he combines sabbath (rest)/sabaoth (hosts) to write “Sabbaoth God.” I doubt my nineteen-year-old self could’ve written a paper on these cantos. But the lines sank deep in my troubled heart.\r\n\r\nAnd I’m reminded of them now, as I watch my fellow churchgoers. At times, we can be a fractious, cranky bunch who quarrel over buildings, music and theology. Yet we’re covered by the same grace. Loved by the same God. Given the same hope of rest, comfort, and peace. Rolling down the narrow road on wheels that wobble and yet never break, for they are sustained by a God who cannot be shaken.','On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear ','','inherit','open','open','','4198-revision-4','','','2012-01-17 08:30:53','2012-01-17 16:30:53','',4198,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4198-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4247,1,'2012-01-17 08:14:26','2012-01-17 16:14:26','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/where-is-my-hope/\">Where Is My Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://jonathanbrink.com\" target=\"_blank\">Jonathan Brink</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/keeping-hope-alive/\" target=\"_blank\">Keeping Hope Alive</a>: <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Maurice Broaddus</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/are-we-afraid-to-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Are We Afraid to Hope?</a>: <a href=\"http://godspace.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Christine Sine</a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-9','','','2012-01-17 08:14:26','2012-01-17 16:14:26','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4042-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(4248,1,'2012-01-17 08:38:15','2012-01-17 16:38:15','Hope is an expectation, an inventive vision, a dream. Hope is a desire.\r\n\r\nHope imagines what faith can create and build. Hope is the designer, the architect, the plans on paper; faith is the carpenter that constructs something tangible, something that you can see and touch from what was once only a dream.\r\n\r\nWhen hope is dashed by doubt and fear, love perseveres...and love always has hope!\r\n\r\nFaith, hope and love, a partnership of pursuable, learnable virtue.\r\n\r\nAs a visionary, a dreamer, hope is where I live. I wake up in the morning with hope at my side, having dreamt together all night. I try to spend time with faith and love, but hope I know.\r\n\r\nOne of my most vivid experiences with hope occurred while standing on the most eastern point of Mexico, on a tiny island called Isla Mujeres. It was September 2009, and my soulmate Brandee and I were celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary.\r\n\r\nIf God is love, and love always hopes, than God hopes. So I believe that standing at the edge of the ocean, in the warmth of the sun and of God’s love, he was inspiring me with His hope. Inspiring me to open my heart, our home, and live out our love. He was whispering hope to my soul on the rhythm of the waves.\r\n\r\nAdoption. This was the message of hope that He was nudging into my thoughts. He was making His hope become mine. Somewhere a little girl is hoping for a forever home, and He was bringing her hope to me.\r\n\r\nUp until this time, I’d never considered adding another child to our family, especially not by adoption. I fully supported the concept of adoption of course, but felt it just wasn’t for us. Everything changed on that beautiful beach in Mexico. Hope was sparked. I remember hearing children laughing, looking back at the boardwalk and seeing two little girls playing together, one American and one Mexican. I looked back at the ocean, contemplating the message God was entrancing me with before looking back to the boardwalk, finding that the two little girls from two different cultures had disappeared, their laughter only memory etched in my mind.\r\n\r\nTeary-eyed, I looked back to the waves and watched them slowly roll in and I was amazed at the peace, the vision, the hope that God was filling me with. My wife asked what I was thinking about, and I said, “You wouldn’t believe it...” but went on to share what was happening in my heart. That afternoon, nearly two years ago, we began our hopeful journey of adoption.\r\n\r\nIt hasn’t been an easy journey, and on occasion it feels like we’re in the middle of the ocean with no idea which way to go, but our God is faithful, and He ignites hope when we have none. In Romans 5, we read about how suffering produces perseverance, which produces character, which produces hope.\r\n\r\nSometimes the dark clouds roll in and it becomes difficult to see our destination on the horizon; but it is in those stormy times that we cling to hope. Our daughter is out there, we pray for her to be held safe in the arms of God until we hold her in ours.\r\n\r\n<em>Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23</em>','Adopting Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4206-autosave','','','2012-01-17 08:38:15','2012-01-17 16:38:15','',4206,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4206-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4249,1,'2012-01-17 08:37:34','2012-01-17 16:37:34','','childs feet','','inherit','open','open','','childs-feet','','','2012-01-17 08:37:34','2012-01-17 16:37:34','',4206,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/childs-feet.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4250,1,'2012-01-16 19:57:20','2012-01-17 03:57:20','Hope is an expectation, an inventive vision, a dream. Hope is a desire.\r\n\r\nHope imagines what faith can create and build. Hope is the designer, the architect, the plans on paper; faith is the carpenter that constructs something tangible, something that you can see and touch from what was once only a dream.\r\n\r\nWhen hope is dashed by doubt and fear, love perseveres...and love always has hope!\r\n\r\nFaith, hope and love, a partnership of pursuable, learnable virtue.\r\n\r\nAs a visionary, a dreamer, hope is where I live. I wake up in the morning with hope at my side, having dreamt together all night. I try to spend time with faith and love, but hope I know.\r\n\r\nOne of my most vivid experiences with hope occurred while standing on the most eastern point of Mexico, on a tiny island called Isla Mujeres. It was September 2009, and my soulmate Brandee and I were celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary.\r\n\r\nIf God is love, and love always hopes, than God hopes. So I believe that standing at the edge of the ocean, in the warmth of the sun and of God’s love, he was inspiring me with His hope. Inspiring me to open my heart, our home, and live out our love. He was whispering hope to my soul on the rhythm of the waves.\r\n\r\nAdoption. This was the message of hope that He was nudging into my thoughts. He was making His hope become mine. Somewhere a little girl is hoping for a forever home, and He was bringing her hope to me.\r\n\r\nUp until this time, I’d never considered adding another child to our family, especially not by adoption. I fully supported the concept of adoption of course, but felt it just wasn’t for us. Everything changed on that beautiful beach in Mexico. Hope was sparked. I remember hearing children laughing, looking back at the boardwalk and seeing two little girls playing together, one American and one Mexican. I looked back at the ocean, contemplating the message God was entrancing me with before looking back to the boardwalk, finding that the two little girls from two different cultures had disappeared, their laughter only memory etched in my mind.\r\n\r\nTeary-eyed, I looked back to the waves and watched them slowly roll in and I was amazed at the peace, the vision, the hope that God was filling me with. My wife asked what I was thinking about, and I said, “You wouldn’t believe it...” but went on to share what was happening in my heart. That afternoon, nearly two years ago, we began our hopeful journey of adoption.\r\n\r\nIt hasn’t been an easy journey, and on occasion it feels like we’re in the middle of the ocean with no idea which way to go, but our God is faithful, and He ignites hope when we have none. In Romans 5, we read about how suffering produces perseverance, which produces character, which produces hope.\r\n\r\nSometimes the dark clouds roll in and it becomes difficult to see our destination on the horizon; but it is in those stormy times that we cling to hope. Our daughter is out there, we pray for her to be held safe in the arms of God until we hold her in ours.\r\n\r\n<em>Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23</em>','Adopting Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4206-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 19:57:20','2012-01-17 03:57:20','',4206,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4206-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4251,1,'2012-01-17 08:33:26','2012-01-17 16:33:26','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/where-is-my-hope/\">Where Is My Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://jonathanbrink.com\" target=\"_blank\">Jonathan Brink</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/keeping-hope-alive/\" target=\"_blank\">Keeping Hope Alive</a>: <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Maurice Broaddus</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/are-we-afraid-to-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Are We Afraid to Hope?</a>: <a href=\"http://godspace.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Christine Sine</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/on-wobbly-wheels-split-churches-and-fear/\" target=\"_blank\">On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear</a>: <a href=\"http://lauradroege.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Laura Droege </a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-10','','','2012-01-17 08:33:26','2012-01-17 16:33:26','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4042-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(4252,1,'2012-01-16 20:38:33','2012-01-17 04:38:33','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\r\n\r\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\r\n\r\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\r\n\r\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\r\n\r\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\r\n\r\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\r\n\r\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\r\n\r\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\r\n\r\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\r\n\r\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\r\n\r\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\r\n\r\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-13','','','2012-01-16 20:38:33','2012-01-17 04:38:33','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4179-revision-13/',0,'revision','',0),(4253,1,'2012-01-17 08:40:37','2012-01-17 16:40:37','Sometimes, ok, perhaps it’s <em>often</em>, I weary of the discipline it takes to stay faithful to the routines of tending life. I begin to skimp on the practices that nurture body, mind, soul and community. Fortunately, every now and then something wonderful comes along to enliven my efforts.\r\n\r\nMy husband and I met with friends for dinner a couple of nights ago. They are the type of friends with whom you always wish you could spend much more time. We enjoyed delicious food, wine, conversation, and heaping platefuls of hope. Interestingly, we had decided beforehand that we would discuss the end of the world. We were only half-joking. This idea was instigated by the distress of another mutual friend, a very wealthy man, over his fear of an impending world-wide economic collapse. He was ready to liquidate all his assets, pack up and move to South America. (I am not sure why South America would be better if the whole world was in trouble but there you have it.) One of our dinner mates is also in the financial world and well acquainted with the inner workings of the struggling economy. We looked forward to hearing what she might have to say.\r\n\r\nWe agreed that the mutual-friend-turned-conversation-starter is very bright and very rational man. This reaction seemed very out of character for him. But this sort of thinking is entrenched in our collective psyches and probably has been since the beginning of time. We are all afraid of what we cannot control. We are all afraid of loss. This fear is amplified through the lens of round the clock disaster movies and documentaries, and the Mayan, Nostradamus and Left Behind theories that all seek to interpret many world events in catastrophic terms. In response, there are survivalist websites selling packaged food and gear. Self-protective instincts run deep.\r\n\r\nOur conversation moved to <em>what if</em>? Specifically, if major calamity does strike, how do people of faith respond? How do we create safe space for ourselves and how do we care for our neighbors? How do we share meager supplies with those who have run out? How do we offer the hospitality of God?\r\n\r\nAnd, what would it be like? Would desperation finally push us to the faith that we have not grown into yet? You know, the kind of faith that feeds 5,000 from a few loaves and fishes, the faith that heals sickness and that finds the coins we need in the mouths of fish? We had no answers. These probably weren’t our real questions anyway. We have not been asked to live this way, not yet.\r\n\r\nIt was in this context that one friend brought up the idea of spiritual eldering. Spiritual elders are the folks who have been around a while. They have seen suffering and they have seen great beauty. They have seen heart-breaking betrayals, and they have seen love and sacrifice like that of Christ himself. They have seen faith fail and they have seen grace overflow. These are the ones who have “set their faces towards Jerusalem”, that is, they have set out <em>finally</em> on the journey that is Christ’s. They have seen Kingdom and can do nothing else but live in a way that brings it forth. They have let go of what brings only fleeting hope here on earth. They have learned what is truly important.\r\n\r\nAnd there we were, the four of us, each moving into our sixth decade on earth. We recognized that we are entering the elder stage. And of course, none of us felt ready or adequate. My friend then asked, “So, when will we be old enough to give it all away?” It became apparent that while we are not old enough yet, our shared conviction was to move in that direction together as community. This is never a journey that we need walk alone. In that realization, we felt the growing potential, desire, and <em>joy</em> of the possibilities held between us.\r\n\r\nTherein lies the hope. We were sitting in communion with friends who hope for Kingdom. Their hearts were for the left behind, the people in need. They were not thinking about preparing for disasters as much as much as learning to be good shepherds. They were concerned about growing into the people we would each need to become in order to bring forth the equities and the sweet, inclusive s<em>halom</em> of Kingdom life, no matter what happens. We all felt caught up in a quiet thrill at the thought of this communal dream. And just for once, the cost didn’t seem to obscure the prize.\r\n\r\nNone of this stuff would be surprising to my dear mentor nun, Sr. Marilyn. She is a spiritual elder in the truest sense of those words and she is helping to grow us up. She once told me a story of a priest whose South American monastery faced apocalypse when it was invaded by gunmen. The humble priest greeted them with open arms. They shot him. “It was the practices,” said Sister, “that prepared his heart to meet them that way.” Indeed, it was the practices that prepared him for anything.\r\n\r\nRichard Rohr notes that in our younger days, we typically use the type of prayer posture that we feel will help to build our careers, fill our coffers, and create a life. As we move towards eldering, we need the kind of prayer practices that help us to let it all go. We need what will bring us to the place where being emptied enough to truly open ourselves to the reality and need of the other, becomes as compelling a desire as any other we have known here. Then, instead of grasping and protecting what is ours, we can begin to walk this earth with arms held open wide.\r\n\r\nHow do we get there? “Do the practices,” says Sr. Marilyn. “The practices will get you ready.” And the hope birthed by good friends does, too.\r\n\r\n[The practices she refers to include regular engagement with faith community, Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, the daily Examen and others.]','Hope Is Held Between Us','','inherit','open','open','','4179-revision-14','','','2012-01-17 08:40:37','2012-01-17 16:40:37','',4179,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4179-revision-14/',0,'revision','',0),(4254,1,'2012-01-18 10:31:49','2012-01-18 18:31:49','<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-4216\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"350\" /></a>I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\n\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted, I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\n\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their consciences so that nothing can possibly tear out their dreams. I want their roots to grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their experience of love and grace, and how they are God\'s dear children.\n\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\n\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally and miraculously fulfilled, when we were cautiously optimistic, when they showed up and stole my heart and changed everything, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\n\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out even if the world around me stayed the same. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can and do hope andwork for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\n\nSo, the timing of this post is serendipitous because who else to inspire hope more than MLK Jr? My 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry. There\'s hope for all of us, particularly the maladjusted, which I count myself to be wholeheartedly. I hope the babies feel free to do so in the future, too, no matter what others say or expect of them, as they grow into God\'s beloved, and share God\'s love and compassion with others.\n\n{Photo from <a href=\"http://www.etsy.com/listing/71493674/romance-sweet-love-heart-hands-wedding?ref=sr_gallery_8&amp;sref=&amp;ga_search_submit=&amp;ga_search_query=holding+hands&amp;ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_ship_to=US&amp;ga_view_type=gallery&amp;ga_page=3&amp;ga_search_type=handmade&amp;ga_facet=handmade\">Etsy</a>}','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-autosave','','','2012-01-18 10:31:49','2012-01-18 18:31:49','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4211-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4255,1,'2012-01-17 08:49:43','2012-01-17 16:49:43','','tire swing','','inherit','open','open','','tire-swing','','','2012-01-17 08:49:43','2012-01-17 16:49:43','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/tire-swing.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4256,1,'2012-01-16 20:38:41','2012-01-17 04:38:41','<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-4216\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"350\" /></a>I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted, I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their consciences so that nothing can possibly tear out their dreams. I want their roots to grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their experience of love and grace, and how they are God\'s dear children.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally and miraculously fulfilled, when we were cautiously optimistic, when they showed up and stole my heart and changed everything, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out even if the world around me stayed the same. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can and do hope andwork for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nSo, the timing of this post is serendipitous because who else to inspire hope more than MLK Jr? My 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry. There\'s hope for all of us, particularly the maladjusted, which I count myself to be wholeheartedly. I hope the babies feel free to do so in the future, too, no matter what others say or expect of them, as they grow into God\'s beloved, and share God\'s love and compassion with others.\r\n\r\n[Photo from <a href=\"http://www.etsy.com/listing/71493674/romance-sweet-love-heart-hands-wedding?ref=sr_gallery_8&amp;sref=&amp;ga_search_submit=&amp;ga_search_query=holding+hands&amp;ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_ship_to=US&amp;ga_view_type=gallery&amp;ga_page=3&amp;ga_search_type=handmade&amp;ga_facet=handmade\">Etsy</a>]','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision-5','','','2012-01-16 20:38:41','2012-01-17 04:38:41','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4211-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4394,0,'2012-01-18 09:22:54','2012-01-18 17:22:54','I\'m a lifelong believer, former news reporter, best-selling author and current PR guy near Washington, DC.\r\n\r\nThe topics that I\'m most interested in writing about are Family, Relationships, the entire Faith category listed above, faith-based book reviews as well as feature interviews with subject matter experts within each of these areas of focus.\r\n\r\nI\'m grateful for the consideration and opportunity to write for your site. \r\n\r\nKind Regards,\r\nTor Constantino, MBA\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: Tor Constantino, MBA\nAUTHOR EMAIL: torconbooks@gmail.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://www.thedailyretort.com\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 80.254.147.164\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; Tor Constantino, MBA\n    [Email] =&gt; torconbooks@gmail.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; www.thedailyretort.com\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; I\'m a lifelong believer, former news reporter, best-selling author and current PR guy near Washington, DC.\r\n\r\nThe topics that I\'m most interested in writing about are Family, Relationships, the entire Faith category listed above, faith-based book reviews as well as feature interviews with subject matter experts within each of these areas of focus.\r\n\r\nI\'m grateful for the consideration and opportunity to write for your site. \r\n\r\nKind Regards,\r\nTor Constantino, MBA\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; torcon\n)\n','Tor Constantino, MBA - 2012-01-18 09:22:54','','publish','open','open','','9ff0751d3d8b96185aa4ade03fdd18c3','','','2012-01-18 09:22:54','2012-01-18 17:22:54','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4394',0,'feedback','',0),(4257,1,'2012-01-17 08:39:12','2012-01-17 16:39:12','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/where-is-my-hope/\">Where Is My Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://jonathanbrink.com\" target=\"_blank\">Jonathan Brink</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/keeping-hope-alive/\" target=\"_blank\">Keeping Hope Alive</a>: <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Maurice Broaddus</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/are-we-afraid-to-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Are We Afraid to Hope?</a>: <a href=\"http://godspace.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Christine Sine</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/on-wobbly-wheels-split-churches-and-fear/\" target=\"_blank\">On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear</a>: <a href=\"http://lauradroege.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Laura Droege </a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/adopting-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Adopting Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://earthtourist.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Travis Klassen</a>','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-11','','','2012-01-17 08:39:12','2012-01-17 16:39:12','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4042-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(4258,1,'2012-01-17 08:55:07','2012-01-17 16:55:07','','church steeple','','inherit','open','open','','church-steeple','','','2012-01-17 08:55:07','2012-01-17 16:55:07','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/church-steeple.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4259,1,'2012-01-16 23:10:33','2012-01-17 07:10:33','<strong>Hope is the synchroblog theme</strong> for this first month of the new year and as I talk about what gives me hope, how I keep returning to hope despite evidence and experience, why not begin by introducing myself for my first post on provoketive?\r\n\r\n<strong>A few weeks ago a Facebook friend</strong> status updated asking about our identity. Mine? I am a daughter of the church, claimed by God in baptism. And I added, \"now what?\" Last Wednesday evening I let myself into the dark church building to prepare for playing liturgy for our celebration of the Baptism of Jesus. As I always do, I walked toward the entry way and the baptismal font and as always, I signed myself with the cross. What gives me hope? I am baptized, sealed with the sign of the cross forever. Being baptized means an identity and lifestyle  shaped according to the contours, demands and relentless grace of the gospel that seeks justice, freedom and shalom for all creation. It is life sourced from Word and Sacrament, modeled by the order of creation, the actions and words of the prophets, the birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus the Christ.\r\n\r\n<strong>What gives me hope?</strong> That in choosing, claiming and trusting me in baptism, God has brought me into an ecumenical community that is supposed to be home wherever I journey, that is supposed to hold me accountable. In his song \"The Ark,\" from <em>City to City</em>, Gerry Rafferty sings, \"We’ll take the road that leads down to the waterside // And set out on the journey // Find a ship to take us on the way. // And we’ll sail out on the water // we’ll meet out on the water // Where are all strangers are known.\"\r\n\r\n<strong>I prepared for a life of service</strong> to church and world, and surprisingly found myself on the other side of mainstream culture and on the subverse of mainline church for longer than I\'d anticipated. In the above paragraph I made a couple of transparent comments about what the summoned assembly of forgiven sinners is \"supposed\" to be and do, and that simply doesn\'t always or even often happen.\r\n\r\n<strong>Abram was an <em>ivri</em></strong>, a Hebrew, someone from the other side. In Jesus of Nazareth, we encounter the God from the exceedingly \"other side,\" who even arrived on earth in a manner very \"other\" from usual expectations and spent most of his life and ministry on the other side of - or at least on the edges of - established religious and social systems, accredited authorities and conventional cultural boundaries. During his brief public ministry, Jesus invited everyone to become part of his insider circle. In my own baptism, has God not called me to live as an outsider to politely authorized, tamed, predictable structures of most kinds? Is that not how the Body of Christ is supposed to be and to live? As an insider to the way of Jesus?\r\n\r\n<strong>What brings me hope?</strong> Sacraments and liturgy are ways to remember who I am and Whose I am. The eucharistic liturgy that retells and re-enacts the history of salvation brings me into an ordered place within those arrays. Like water in the font, bread on the table, wine in the cup, I am an organic part of creation, birthed out of the substance of earth, sky, sea and air. Liturgy and sacraments remind me that God\'s presence is not something far off, invisible and unattainable; it\'s as close to us, as sensibly (smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing) apparent and as paradoxical as water, bread and wine, as the neighbor next door, the colleague at the next computer.\r\n\r\n<strong>I\'ve found myself on the other side</strong> of mainline church and midstream society for a painfully long while. But isn\'t the covenanted community supposed to be an upside down image of prevailing economic, political (and ecclesiastical) realities? Is it not supposed to challenge and subvert the status quo? Is it not supposed to live counter-culturally to the prevailing culture of consumerism and objectification? \"The Exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the World\" is one of the PC(USA)\'s Great Ends of the Church. The worldview of the bible is open-ended, no longer the endless, predictable recycling of the same thing, yet there is a sense of constancy, of divine design and purpose to the order of nature and creation. Similar to the way hue shifts, layer styles, filters and effects reveal previously unseen aspects of an image I\'m editing, the Holy Spirit edits, styles, filters, re-colors and reformats people, communities, and institutions and brings prophetic promises and broken hopes to life. In large part because of the continued liveliness of the Church, the Christ and the Spirit are active in the world.\r\n\r\n<strong>So I\'m hoping to emerge</strong> from my current location and back into the embrace of the called-out, covenanted community because I know I cannot do life on my own, cannot revive and reformat my own life; that only can come to me as gift. God has claimed me in baptism; I am a daughter of the church.','paradox, hope and revival','','inherit','open','open','','4226-revision-6','','','2012-01-16 23:10:33','2012-01-17 07:10:33','',4226,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4226-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4260,1,'2012-01-17 09:02:08','2012-01-17 17:02:08','I read. All sorts and types of things. I read people who agree with me, people who disagree with me, people who almost or mostly do one or the other.\r\n\r\nI read for work. The Bible, I hope obviously; liturgies and about them; sermons, my own and others; theology; social and political commentary; current events; and anything else that will make me think, make me stretch, help me better understand people, help me better articulate a faith which is beyond words.\r\n\r\nI read for fun (and sanity). Fiction—most often science fiction, but also mysteries, horror (it has be really good), and whatever else I find and enjoy. Poetry because I fall in love with a well-turned phrase. Memoirs because I love learning about how others experience their lives.\r\n\r\nI read.\r\n\r\nRight now, in this season of my life, a season with more than <a href=\"//theologybird.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/layers-of-grief/\">a little grief</a>, a time when it is challenging to remain optimistic, I\'m reading for a new reason. I\'m reading for hope. I\'ve survived tough times before. Often enough that I sometimes thing that between all of the fingerprints, hand impressions, and nail troughs I have made trying to hang on to faith, hope, and love, I should have gotten better at it. More dextrous. More able to secret away the right-sized portion to sustain me.\r\n\r\nInstead I\'m bookmarking my way through hope. Literally bookmarking my way through Jurgen Moltman\'s <em>Theology of Hope</em>. Underlining passages and scribbling notes on my bookmark. I am a thorough reader.\r\n\r\nAs I work to pastor and serve my congregation through change, trying to bring to our times together the right combination of my very real grief and the eternal reassurance that nothing is lost in God, I need someone else to remind me of those things.\r\n\r\nI need the voice of Moltmann, a German theologian, alive but only real to me through words on the pages in front of me. I need him to remind me that God, while keeping us firmly in the present, calls us into a hope and a future that leave all Christians disquieted. I need to be reminded, in the midst of my now, that “hope casts [me] upon the future that is not yet.” (pg 26)\r\n\r\nBecause hope is hard. It is hard, in the face of the loss and grief which are so common in this world, to continue to stand on the eternal reassurance of God\'s promises. It is hard, after the kind of long day which leaves one feeling empty to rise the next morning ready to praise and serve.\r\n\r\nAnd it is harder yet to continue to believe that these things are necessary, that they are the actions of faith. That they are hopeful. But they are. And even though I know this, I still need Moltmann\'s word to remind me that, “Faith and love are timeless acts which remove us out of time, because they make us wholly \'present\'.” (pg 30)\r\n\r\nThe joy of a book is that it will be wholly present to you just as you need it be. So no one minds as I make my way through <em>Theology of Hope</em> far more slowly than I usually read, savoring the words, sustaining myself on the reminders that hope is not only worth holding onto, but still being held out for me to grab.  Right now, Moltmann and his <em>Theology of Hope</em> is saving me.','Good Theology Saves','','inherit','open','open','','4233-autosave','','','2012-01-17 09:02:08','2012-01-17 17:02:08','',4233,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4233-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4261,1,'2012-01-17 09:01:15','2012-01-17 17:01:15','','old book','','inherit','open','open','','old-book','','','2012-01-17 09:01:15','2012-01-17 17:01:15','',4233,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/old-book.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4262,1,'2012-01-16 23:55:33','2012-01-17 07:55:33','I read. All sorts and types of things. I read people who agree with me, people who disagree with me, people who almost or mostly do one or the other.\r\n\r\nI read for work. The Bible, I hope obviously; liturgies and about them; sermons, my own and others; theology; social and political commentary; current events; and anything else that will make me think, make me stretch, help me better understand people, help me better articulate a faith which is beyond words.\r\n\r\nI read for fun (and sanity). Fiction—most often science fiction, but also mysteries, horror (it has be really good), and whatever else I find and enjoy. Poetry because I fall in love with a well-turned phrase. Memoirs because I love learning about how others experience their lives.\r\n\r\nI read.\r\n\r\nRight now, in this season of my life, a season with more than <a href=\"//theologybird.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/layers-of-grief/\">a little grief</a>, a time when it is challenging to remain optimistic, I\'m reading for a new reason. I\'m reading for hope. I\'ve survived tough times before. Often enough that I sometimes thing that between all of the fingerprints, hand impressions, and nail troughs I have made trying to hang on to faith, hope, and love, I should have gotten better at it. More dextrous. More able to secret away the right-sized portion to sustain me.\r\n\r\nInstead I\'m bookmarking my way through hope. Literally bookmarking my way through Jurgen Moltman\'s <em>Theology of Hope</em>. Underlining passages and scribbling notes on my bookmark. I am a thorough reader.\r\n\r\nAs I work to pastor and serve my congregation through change, trying to bring to our times together the right combination of my very real grief and the eternal reassurance that nothing is lost in God, I need someone else to remind me of those things.\r\n\r\nI need the voice of Moltmann, a German theologian, alive but only real to me through words on the pages in front of me. I need him to remind me that God, while keeping us firmly in the present, calls us into a hope and a future that leave all Christians disquieted. I need to be reminded, in the midst of my now, that “hope casts [me] upon the future that is not yet.” (pg 26)\r\n\r\nBecause hope is hard. It is hard, in the face of the loss and grief which are so common in this world, to continue to stand on the eternal reassurance of God\'s promises. It is hard, after the kind of long day which leaves one feeling empty to rise the next morning ready to praise and serve.\r\n\r\nAnd it is harder yet to continue to believe that these things are necessary, that they are the actions of faith. That they are hopeful. But they are. And even though I know this, I still need Moltmann\'s word to remind me that, “Faith and love are timeless acts which remove us out of time, because they make us wholly \'present\'.” (pg 30)\r\n\r\nThe joy of a book is that it will be wholly present to you just as you need it be. So no one minds as I make my way through <em>Theology of Hope</em> far more slowly than I usually read, savoring the words, sustaining myself on the reminders that hope is not only worth holding onto, but still being held out for me to grab.  Right now, Moltmann and his <em>Theology of Hope</em> is saving me.','Good Theology Saves','','inherit','open','open','','4233-revision-3','','','2012-01-16 23:55:33','2012-01-17 07:55:33','',4233,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/16/4233-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4263,0,'2012-01-17 09:09:50','2012-01-17 17:09:50','Hope\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: Sonnie Swenston-Forbes\nAUTHOR EMAIL: heysonnie@gmail.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://heysonnie.wordpress.com\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 108.38.164.53\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; Sonnie Swenston-Forbes\n    [Email] =&gt; heysonnie@gmail.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; heysonnie.wordpress.com\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; Hope\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; heysonnie\n)\n','Sonnie Swenston-Forbes - 2012-01-17 09:09:50','','publish','open','open','','039bc362e488bc18b9bdd3df31d19728','','','2012-01-17 09:09:50','2012-01-17 17:09:50','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4263',0,'feedback','',0),(4266,96,'2012-01-17 12:08:25','2012-01-17 20:08:25','\"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.\" 1 Corinthians 13:13a\n\nI\'ve often wondered why \'hope\' is in the middle. There\'s Faith on the one side - Faith with it\'s strength, setting a foundation. There\'s Love at the end - Love as a benediction, a blessing, put at the end and recognized as the greatest of the three. Then there\'s Hope. And Hope is in the middle. It is neither foundation nor benediction. So what is it?\n\nIt\'s location in the sentence is symbolic of what hope is, for hope is most needed in the middle. I need hope most when I am in the middle of a crisis. At the beginning my adrenaline kicks in and I go on autopilot, doing what I need to do to survive.  Towards the end of a crisis, I know I have gone through the worst and I have survived. But in the middle? In the middle I am at the end of myself. There seems to be no future and no help.\n\n&nbsp;','These Three Remain - Hope in the Middle','','inherit','open','open','','4265-revision','','','2012-01-17 12:08:25','2012-01-17 20:08:25','',4265,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4265-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4267,96,'2012-01-17 12:10:19','2012-01-17 20:10:19','\"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.\" 1 Corinthians 13:13a\n\nI\'ve often wondered why \'hope\' is in the middle. There\'s Faith on the one side - Faith with it\'s strength, setting a foundation. There\'s Love at the end - Love as a benediction, a blessing, put at the end and recognized as the greatest of the three. Then there\'s Hope. And Hope is in the middle. It is neither foundation nor benediction. So what is it?\n\nIt\'s location in the sentence is symbolic of what hope is, for hope is most needed in the middle. I need hope most when I am in the middle of a crisis. At the beginning my adrenaline kicks in and I go on autopilot, doing what I need to do to survive.  Towards the end of a crisis, I know I have gone through the worst and I have survived. But in the middle? In the middle I am at the end of myself. There seems to be no future and no help. This is where I need hope.\n\n&nbsp;\n<div class=\"zemanta-pixie\" style=\"margin-top: 10px;height: 15px\"><a class=\"zemanta-pixie-a\" title=\"Enhanced by Zemanta\" href=\"http://www.zemanta.com/\"><img class=\"zemanta-pixie-img\" style=\"border: none;float: right\" src=\"http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=c0868e60-a477-469f-ab06-20c28bd7623c\" alt=\"Enhanced by Zemanta\" /></a></div>','These Three Remain - Hope in the Middle','','inherit','open','open','','4265-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 12:10:19','2012-01-17 20:10:19','',4265,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4265-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4269,134,'2012-01-17 12:30:24','2012-01-17 20:30:24','siblings running on the beach (Wikimedia)','Featured_Image','','inherit','open','open','','1034984_500x250','','','2012-01-17 12:30:24','2012-01-17 20:30:24','',0,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1034984_500x250.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4270,96,'2012-01-17 12:25:42','2012-01-17 20:25:42','\"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.\" 1 Corinthians 13:13a\n\nI\'ve often wondered why \'hope\' is in the middle. There\'s faith on the one side - faith with it\'s strength, setting a foundation. There\'s love at the end - love as a benediction, a blessing, put at the end and recognized as the greatest of the three. Then there\'s hope. And hope is in the middle. It is neither foundation nor benediction. So what is it?\n\nIt\'s location in the sentence is symbolic of what hope is, for hope is most needed in the middle. I need hope most when I am in the middle of a crisis. At the beginning my adrenaline kicks in and I go on autopilot, doing what I need to do to survive.  Towards the end of a crisis, I know I have gone through the worst and I have survived. But in the middle? In the middle I am at the end of myself. There seems to be no future and no help. This is where I need hope.\n\n&nbsp;\n<div class=\"zemanta-pixie\" style=\"margin-top: 10px;height: 15px\"><a class=\"zemanta-pixie-a\" title=\"Enhanced by Zemanta\" href=\"http://www.zemanta.com/\"><img class=\"zemanta-pixie-img\" style=\"border: none;float: right\" src=\"http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_e.png?x-id=c0868e60-a477-469f-ab06-20c28bd7623c\" alt=\"Enhanced by Zemanta\" /></a></div>','These Three Remain - Hope in the Middle','','inherit','open','open','','4265-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 12:25:42','2012-01-17 20:25:42','',4265,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4265-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4418,1,'2012-01-18 22:44:22','2012-01-19 06:44:22','Hope in the promise of yet another spring to come\r\nis what keeps us from chopping down the firewood\r\nof the apparently dead trees of winter.','SynchroBlog: Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4411-autosave','','','2012-01-18 22:44:22','2012-01-19 06:44:22','',4411,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/4411-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4272,90,'2012-01-22 08:00:37','2012-01-22 16:00:37','Amazement looks like a six-year-old girl, twirling \'round, blond ringlets elongated as they spin, arms outstretched, face lifted to the heavens.\r\n\r\nAmazement tastes like the warmth of a summer peach, melting on my tongue.\r\n\r\nAmazement sounds like the communal breath, held, as the final note of the Hallelujah Chorus rings through the concert hall.\r\n\r\nAmazement feels like being knocked onto the living room floor by small children, all clamoring for the first hug.\r\n\r\nAmazement smells like nuzzling one\'s nose in the neck of a newborn.','Amazement ','','publish','open','open','','amazement','','','2012-01-17 20:24:39','2012-01-18 04:24:39','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4272',0,'post','',1),(4273,90,'2012-01-17 13:25:59','2012-01-17 21:25:59','','peach','','inherit','open','open','','peach','','','2012-01-17 13:25:59','2012-01-17 21:25:59','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/peach.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4274,90,'2012-01-17 13:27:58','2012-01-17 21:27:58','','peach','','inherit','open','open','','peach-2','','','2012-01-17 13:27:58','2012-01-17 21:27:58','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/peach1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4275,90,'2012-01-17 13:24:18','2012-01-17 21:24:18','Amazement\nAmazement looks like a six-year-old girl, twirling \'round, blond ringlets elongated as they spin, arms outstretched, face lifted to the heavens.\n\nAmazement tastes like the warmth of a summer peach, melting on my tongue.\n\nAmazement sounds like the communal breath, held, as the final note of the Hallelujah Chorus rings through the concert hall.\n\nAmazement feels like being knocked onto the living room floor by small children, all clamoring for the first hug.\n\nAmazement smells like nuzzling one\'s nose in the neck of a newborn.','Amazement ','','inherit','open','open','','4272-revision','','','2012-01-17 13:24:18','2012-01-17 21:24:18','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4272-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4276,90,'2012-01-17 13:28:37','2012-01-17 21:28:37','Amazement\r\nAmazement looks like a six-year-old girl, twirling \'round, blond ringlets elongated as they spin, arms outstretched, face lifted to the heavens.\r\n\r\nAmazement tastes like the warmth of a summer peach, melting on my tongue.\r\n\r\nAmazement sounds like the communal breath, held, as the final note of the Hallelujah Chorus rings through the concert hall.\r\n\r\nAmazement feels like being knocked onto the living room floor by small children, all clamoring for the first hug.\r\n\r\nAmazement smells like nuzzling one\'s nose in the neck of a newborn.','Amazement ','','inherit','open','open','','4272-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 13:28:37','2012-01-17 21:28:37','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4272-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4278,18,'2012-01-17 14:12:26','2012-01-17 22:12:26','','linear the past','','inherit','open','open','','linear-the-past','','','2012-01-17 14:12:26','2012-01-17 22:12:26','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4279,18,'2012-01-17 14:13:40','2012-01-17 22:13:40','','linear the past','','inherit','open','open','','linear-the-past-2','','','2012-01-17 14:13:40','2012-01-17 22:13:40','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4280,18,'2012-01-17 14:15:31','2012-01-17 22:15:31','','linear roller coaster','','inherit','open','open','','linear-roller-coaster','','','2012-01-17 14:15:31','2012-01-17 22:15:31','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4281,18,'2012-01-17 14:17:13','2012-01-17 22:17:13','','linear spiral','','inherit','open','open','','linear-spiral','','','2012-01-17 14:17:13','2012-01-17 22:17:13','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4282,18,'2012-01-17 14:20:20','2012-01-17 22:20:20','','Linear','','inherit','open','open','','linear','','','2012-01-17 14:20:20','2012-01-17 22:20:20','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Linear.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4283,18,'2012-01-17 14:25:06','2012-01-17 22:25:06','','Linear','','inherit','open','open','','linear-2','','','2012-01-17 14:25:06','2012-01-17 22:25:06','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Linear1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4284,132,'2012-01-18 08:00:16','2012-01-18 16:00:16','I grew up hearing how great and necessary hope is, which is why I was so shocked when I first heard about the notion to \"abandon hope.\"\r\n\r\nLast year I participated in the tradition of choosing one word as a sort of theme for the year.  <a href=\"http://gracerules.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/one-word-for-2011/\" target=\"_blank\">My word for 2011 was Awaken</a>.  I chose Awaken because I wanted to pursue the practice of being fully present in the moment. In my efforts to learn more about being fully present I ran across the Buddhist idea of \"abandoning hope.\"\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/NOW.jpg\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-4300 alignleft\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/NOW-300x258.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"258\" /></a>Pema Chodron, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, wrote, “One of our deepest habitual patterns is to feel that now is not good enough.”  Chodron encourages us to abandon hope and put our energy into being where we are. She informs us that as long as we are putting our energy into the desire for something or someone to be different (which is what hope leads to) the present moment will be lost.  When the present moment is lost we lose opportunities that can only be found by staying in the moment that hope wants to sweep us away from. When we are swept away from the present reality to a vision of an imagined future we lose answers and solutions and healing that we can only know when we stay and face our pain and our fears.  If we are caught up in hoping for a future result we cannot embrace the present moment.\r\n\r\nA famous Buddhist saying is \"Hope and fear chase each other\'s tails.\" In other words, hope and fear are intrinsically connected - you hope because you are afraid of what is happening or not happening - without fear hope would not be needed.  The present - which is demanding your attention here and now - may not look appealing and yet it may have something deeper to offer you than a hoped for future. The idea is that this method of befriending our present concern affords us a clarity of action that we can never gain while trying to avoid or rid ourselves of our pain and fears.\r\n\r\nNone of this is to say that you shouldn\'t have a positive attitude. And there are certainly times when hope allows people to take that next step and behave \"as if,\" despite all evidence to the contrary.  But abandoning hope isn\'t really about being negative.  Abandoning hope is more about detaching ones self from success or failure.  It isn\'t about giving up in a way that would make you stop working or striving.  It is a kind of positive giving up that not only has the potential to reveal to you what it is that makes you more fully alive but at the same time affords you the ability to put even more effort and energy into whatever that is.\r\n\r\nThomas Merton, the late Christian mystic, advised a friend: \"Do not depend on the hope of results ... you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.  As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself...\"\r\n\r\nWe typically have a purpose for everything that we do.  We want to succeed at accomplishing our goal and not fail.  That is fine.  However, what happens so much of the time is our thoughts of success or failure begin to become more important than what we are doing and how we are doing it.  The fear of failure causes us to become more rigid, less compassionate, more impatient, less creative, more cautious, less willing to take risks - all because we cling so desperately to a successful outcome.\r\n\r\nWOW!  This new way of thinking about hope was making sense to me.  At least enough sense that I wanted to try to put some of this stuff into practice, so over the past year I have tried to merge what I was learning about hope with my pursuit to be more present in the moment.\r\n\r\nWhere did all of this new thinking about hope lead me?\r\n\r\nWell, I still find myself hoping as a reaction to fear or worry.  But at least I am usually aware of that happening and can stop and focus on remaining in the moment - letting myself experience the feelings more fully - being more aware of myself in the present moment (Buddhists call that being mindful or waking up).\r\n\r\nAnd I still find myself performing a task or doing work with a goal in mind but at least I am getting better about the goal not overshadowing the action.  As a result I feel less attached to outcomes and more interested in the value of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I don\'t know if I am accomplishing as much but I think what I do is a higher quality, more enjoyable and unique.\r\n\r\nMy problems have not all disappeared because none of this stops life from happening.  The hope and fear continue to return because the practice of letting go of hope and fear is hard to embrace. But I keep training and practicing and the more I train and practice the more I am able to lessen unnecessary suffering and worry.  I believe that I am more present in the moment and that the more I wake up the more compassion I have towards myself and others, the more creative I feel, the more risks I am willing to take, the more discernment I seem to have about what I should spend my time and energy pursuing.  It\'s a process and honestly I feel like I could let all the progress slip away without much notice if I don\'t remain vigilant but all in all I think I am discovering something better than hope.  I think I am discovering now.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Better Than Hope','','publish','open','open','','better-than-hope','','','2012-01-18 09:09:13','2012-01-18 17:09:13','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4284',0,'post','',3),(4285,18,'2012-01-17 14:33:36','2012-01-17 22:33:36','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.\n\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\n\nReally, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.\n\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\n\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\n\nLook familiar?\n\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.\n\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\n\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.</p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.\n\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\n\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\n\nHope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in a messy, broken world.\n\nYeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</p>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision','','','2012-01-17 14:33:36','2012-01-17 22:33:36','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4286,18,'2012-01-17 14:34:31','2012-01-17 22:34:31','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.\r\n\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n\r\nReally, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.\r\n\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\n\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.\r\n\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.\r\n\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em></p>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 14:34:31','2012-01-17 22:34:31','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4287,18,'2012-01-17 14:35:06','2012-01-17 22:35:06','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n\r\nReally, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.\r\n\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\n\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"323\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 14:35:06','2012-01-17 22:35:06','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4288,18,'2012-01-17 14:36:38','2012-01-17 22:36:38','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-4','','','2012-01-17 14:36:38','2012-01-17 22:36:38','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4289,18,'2012-01-17 14:36:52','2012-01-17 22:36:52','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-5','','','2012-01-17 14:36:52','2012-01-17 22:36:52','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4290,18,'2012-01-17 14:37:54','2012-01-17 22:37:54','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter alignnone\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-6','','','2012-01-17 14:37:54','2012-01-17 22:37:54','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4291,18,'2012-01-17 14:38:05','2012-01-17 22:38:05','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279 aligncenter alignnone\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a>\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-7','','','2012-01-17 14:38:05','2012-01-17 22:38:05','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(4292,18,'2012-01-17 14:39:05','2012-01-17 22:39:05','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\r\nIt\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\r\n<strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-8','','','2012-01-17 14:39:05','2012-01-17 22:39:05','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(4293,18,'2012-01-17 14:39:56','2012-01-17 22:39:56','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">It\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-9','','','2012-01-17 14:39:56','2012-01-17 22:39:56','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(4294,18,'2012-01-17 14:40:21','2012-01-17 22:40:21','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">It\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-10','','','2012-01-17 14:40:21','2012-01-17 22:40:21','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(4295,132,'2012-01-17 14:46:48','2012-01-17 22:46:48','','better than hope','','inherit','open','open','','2409395419_40d0e57b19','','','2012-01-17 14:46:48','2012-01-17 22:46:48','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4296,132,'2012-01-17 14:47:31','2012-01-17 22:47:31','<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19.jpg\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-4295 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19-300x175.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"175\" /></a></p>\nI grew up hearing how great and necessary hope is, which is why I was so shocked when I first heard about the notion to \"abandon hope.\"\n\nLast year I participated in the tradition of choosing one word as a sort of theme for the year.  <a href=\"http://gracerules.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/one-word-for-2011/\" target=\"_blank\">My word for 2011 was Awaken</a>.  I chose Awaken because I wanted to pursue the practice of being fully present in the moment. In my efforts to learn more about being fully present I ran across the Buddhist idea of \"abandoning hope.\"\n\nPema Chodron, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, wrote, “One of our deepest habitual patterns is to feel that now is not good enough.”  Chodron encourages us to abandon hope and put our energy into being where we are. She informs us that as long as we are putting our energy into the desire for something or someone to be different (which is what hope leads to) the present moment will be lost.  When the present moment is lost we lose opportunities that can only be found by staying in the moment that hope wants to sweep us away from. When we are swept away from the present reality to a vision of an imagined future we lose answers and solutions and healing that we can only know when we stay and face our pain and our fears.  If we are caught up in hoping for a future result we cannot embrace the present moment.\n\nA famous Buddhist saying is \"Hope and fear chase each other\'s tails.\" In other words, hope and fear are intrinsically connected - you hope because you are afraid of what is happening or not happening - without fear hope would not be needed.  The present - which is demanding your attention here and now - may not look appealing and yet it may have something deeper to offer you than a hoped for future. The idea is that this method of befriending our present concern affords us a clarity of action that we can never gain while trying to avoid or rid ourselves of our pain and fears.\n\nNone of this is to say that you shouldn\'t have a positive attitude. And there are certainly times when hope allows people to take that next step and behave \"as if,\" despite all evidence to the contrary.  But abandoning hope isn\'t really about being negative.  Abandoning hope is more about detaching ones self from success or failure.  It isn\'t about giving up in a way that would make you stop working or striving.  It is a kind of positive giving up that not only has the potential to reveal to you what it is that makes you more fully alive but at the same time affords you the ability to put even more effort and energy into whatever that is.\n\nThomas Merton, the late Christian mystic, advised a friend: \"Do not depend on the hope of results ... you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.  As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself...\"\n\nWe typically have a purpose for everything that we do.  We want to succeed at accomplishing our goal and not fail.  That is fine.  However, what happens so much of the time is our thoughts of success or failure begin to become more important than what we are doing and how we are doing it.  The fear of failure causes us to become more rigid, less compassionate, more impatient, less creative, more cautious, less willing to take risks - all because we cling so desperately to a successful outcome.\n\nWOW!  This new way of thinking about hope was making sense to me.  At least enough sense that I wanted to try to put some of this stuff into practice, so over the past year I have tried to merge what I was learning about hope with my pursuit to be more present in the moment.\n\nWhere did all of this new thinking about hope lead me?\n\nWell, I still find myself hoping as a reaction to fear or worry.  But at least I am usually aware of that happening and can stop and focus on remaining in the moment - letting myself experience the feelings more fully - being more aware of myself in the present moment (Buddhists call that being mindful or waking up).\n\nAnd I still find myself performing a task or doing work with a goal in mind but at least I am getting better about the goal not overshadowing the action.  As a result I feel less attached to outcomes and more interested in the value of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I don\'t know if I am accomplishing as much but I think what I do is a higher quality, more enjoyable and unique.\n\nMy problems have not all disappeared because none of this stops life from happening.  The hope and fear continue to return because the practice of letting go of hope and fear is hard to embrace. But I keep training and practicing and the more I train and practice the more I am able to lessen unnecessary suffering and worry.  I believe that I am more present in the moment and that the more I wake up the more compassion I have towards myself and others, the more creative I feel, the more risks I am willing to take, the more discernment I seem to have about what I should spend my time and energy pursuing.  It\'s a process and honestly I feel like I could let all the progress slip away without much notice if I don\'t remain vigilant but all in all I think I am discovering something better than hope.  I think I am discovering now.','Better Than Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4284-revision','','','2012-01-17 14:47:31','2012-01-17 22:47:31','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4284-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4297,132,'2012-01-17 14:47:41','2012-01-17 22:47:41','<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19.jpg\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-4295 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19-300x175.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"175\" /></a></p>\r\nI grew up hearing how great and necessary hope is, which is why I was so shocked when I first heard about the notion to \"abandon hope.\"\r\n\r\nLast year I participated in the tradition of choosing one word as a sort of theme for the year.  <a href=\"http://gracerules.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/one-word-for-2011/\" target=\"_blank\">My word for 2011 was Awaken</a>.  I chose Awaken because I wanted to pursue the practice of being fully present in the moment. In my efforts to learn more about being fully present I ran across the Buddhist idea of \"abandoning hope.\"\r\n\r\nPema Chodron, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, wrote, “One of our deepest habitual patterns is to feel that now is not good enough.”  Chodron encourages us to abandon hope and put our energy into being where we are. She informs us that as long as we are putting our energy into the desire for something or someone to be different (which is what hope leads to) the present moment will be lost.  When the present moment is lost we lose opportunities that can only be found by staying in the moment that hope wants to sweep us away from. When we are swept away from the present reality to a vision of an imagined future we lose answers and solutions and healing that we can only know when we stay and face our pain and our fears.  If we are caught up in hoping for a future result we cannot embrace the present moment.\r\n\r\nA famous Buddhist saying is \"Hope and fear chase each other\'s tails.\" In other words, hope and fear are intrinsically connected - you hope because you are afraid of what is happening or not happening - without fear hope would not be needed.  The present - which is demanding your attention here and now - may not look appealing and yet it may have something deeper to offer you than a hoped for future. The idea is that this method of befriending our present concern affords us a clarity of action that we can never gain while trying to avoid or rid ourselves of our pain and fears.\r\n\r\nNone of this is to say that you shouldn\'t have a positive attitude. And there are certainly times when hope allows people to take that next step and behave \"as if,\" despite all evidence to the contrary.  But abandoning hope isn\'t really about being negative.  Abandoning hope is more about detaching ones self from success or failure.  It isn\'t about giving up in a way that would make you stop working or striving.  It is a kind of positive giving up that not only has the potential to reveal to you what it is that makes you more fully alive but at the same time affords you the ability to put even more effort and energy into whatever that is.\r\n\r\nThomas Merton, the late Christian mystic, advised a friend: \"Do not depend on the hope of results ... you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.  As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself...\"\r\n\r\nWe typically have a purpose for everything that we do.  We want to succeed at accomplishing our goal and not fail.  That is fine.  However, what happens so much of the time is our thoughts of success or failure begin to become more important than what we are doing and how we are doing it.  The fear of failure causes us to become more rigid, less compassionate, more impatient, less creative, more cautious, less willing to take risks - all because we cling so desperately to a successful outcome.\r\n\r\nWOW!  This new way of thinking about hope was making sense to me.  At least enough sense that I wanted to try to put some of this stuff into practice, so over the past year I have tried to merge what I was learning about hope with my pursuit to be more present in the moment.\r\n\r\nWhere did all of this new thinking about hope lead me?\r\n\r\nWell, I still find myself hoping as a reaction to fear or worry.  But at least I am usually aware of that happening and can stop and focus on remaining in the moment - letting myself experience the feelings more fully - being more aware of myself in the present moment (Buddhists call that being mindful or waking up).\r\n\r\nAnd I still find myself performing a task or doing work with a goal in mind but at least I am getting better about the goal not overshadowing the action.  As a result I feel less attached to outcomes and more interested in the value of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I don\'t know if I am accomplishing as much but I think what I do is a higher quality, more enjoyable and unique.\r\n\r\nMy problems have not all disappeared because none of this stops life from happening.  The hope and fear continue to return because the practice of letting go of hope and fear is hard to embrace. But I keep training and practicing and the more I train and practice the more I am able to lessen unnecessary suffering and worry.  I believe that I am more present in the moment and that the more I wake up the more compassion I have towards myself and others, the more creative I feel, the more risks I am willing to take, the more discernment I seem to have about what I should spend my time and energy pursuing.  It\'s a process and honestly I feel like I could let all the progress slip away without much notice if I don\'t remain vigilant but all in all I think I am discovering something better than hope.  I think I am discovering now.','Better Than Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4284-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 14:47:41','2012-01-17 22:47:41','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4284-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4298,1,'2012-01-17 20:36:52','2012-01-18 04:36:52','I grew up hearing how great and necessary hope is, which is why I was so shocked when I first heard about the notion to \"abandon hope.\"\r\n\r\nLast year I participated in the tradition of choosing one word as a sort of theme for the year.  <a href=\"http://gracerules.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/one-word-for-2011/\" target=\"_blank\">My word for 2011 was Awaken</a>.  I chose Awaken because I wanted to pursue the practice of being fully present in the moment. In my efforts to learn more about being fully present I ran across the Buddhist idea of \"abandoning hope.\"\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/NOW.jpg\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-4300 alignleft\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/NOW-300x258.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"258\" /></a>Pema Chodron, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, wrote, “One of our deepest habitual patterns is to feel that now is not good enough.”  Chodron encourages us to abandon hope and put our energy into being where we are. She informs us that as long as we are putting our energy into the desire for something or someone to be different (which is what hope leads to) the present moment will be lost.  When the present moment is lost we lose opportunities that can only be found by staying in the moment that hope wants to sweep us away from. When we are swept away from the present reality to a vision of an imagined future we lose answers and solutions and healing that we can only know when we stay and face our pain and our fears.  If we are caught up in hoping for a future result we cannot embrace the present moment.\r\n\r\nA famous Buddhist saying is \"Hope and fear chase each other\'s tails.\" In other words, hope and fear are intrinsically connected - you hope because you are afraid of what is happening or not happening - without fear hope would not be needed.  The present - which is demanding your attention here and now - may not look appealing and yet it may have something deeper to offer you than a hoped for future. The idea is that this method of befriending our present concern affords us a clarity of action that we can never gain while trying to avoid or rid ourselves of our pain and fears.\r\n\r\nNone of this is to say that you shouldn\'t have a positive attitude. And there are certainly times when hope allows people to take that next step and behave \"as if,\" despite all evidence to the contrary.  But abandoning hope isn\'t really about being negative.  Abandoning hope is more about detaching ones self from success or failure.  It isn\'t about giving up in a way that would make you stop working or striving.  It is a kind of positive giving up that not only has the potential to reveal to you what it is that makes you more fully alive but at the same time affords you the ability to put even more effort and energy into whatever that is.\r\n\r\nThomas Merton, the late Christian mystic, advised a friend: \"Do not depend on the hope of results ... you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.  As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself...\"\r\n\r\nWe typically have a purpose for everything that we do.  We want to succeed at accomplishing our goal and not fail.  That is fine.  However, what happens so much of the time is our thoughts of success or failure begin to become more important than what we are doing and how we are doing it.  The fear of failure causes us to become more rigid, less compassionate, more impatient, less creative, more cautious, less willing to take risks - all because we cling so desperately to a successful outcome.\r\n\r\nWOW!  This new way of thinking about hope was making sense to me.  At least enough sense that I wanted to try to put some of this stuff into practice, so over the past year I have tried to merge what I was learning about hope with my pursuit to be more present in the moment.\r\n\r\nWhere did all of this new thinking about hope lead me?\r\n\r\nWell, I still find myself hoping as a reaction to fear or worry.  But at least I am usually aware of that happening and can stop and focus on remaining in the moment - letting myself experience the feelings more fully - being more aware of myself in the present moment (Buddhists call that being mindful or waking up).\r\n\r\nAnd I still find myself performing a task or doing work with a goal in mind but at least I am getting better about the goal not overshadowing the action.  As a result I feel less attached to outcomes and more interested in the value of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I don\'t know if I am accomplishing as much but I think what I do is a higher quality, more enjoyable and unique.\r\n\r\nMy problems have not all disappeared because none of this stops life from happening.  The hope and fear continue to return because the practice of letting go of hope and fear is hard to embrace. But I keep training and practicing and the more I train and practice the more I am able to lessen unnecessary suffering and worry.  I believe that I am more present in the moment and that the more I wake up the more compassion I have towards myself and others, the more creative I feel, the more risks I am willing to take, the more discernment I seem to have about what I should spend my time and energy pursuing.  It\'s a process and honestly I feel like I could let all the progress slip away without much notice if I don\'t remain vigilant but all in all I think I am discovering something better than hope.  I think I am discovering now.','Better Than Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4284-autosave','','','2012-01-17 20:36:52','2012-01-18 04:36:52','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4284-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4302,147,'2012-01-18 08:00:18','2012-01-18 16:00:18','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','publish','open','open','','caroline-for-congress-hope-for-the-future','','','2012-01-18 09:08:15','2012-01-18 17:08:15','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4302',0,'post','',1),(4300,132,'2012-01-17 15:22:49','2012-01-17 23:22:49','','NOW','','inherit','open','open','','now','','','2012-01-17 15:22:49','2012-01-17 23:22:49','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/NOW.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4301,132,'2012-01-17 14:50:21','2012-01-17 22:50:21','<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19.jpg\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-4295 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2409395419_40d0e57b19-300x175.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"175\" /></a></p>\r\nI grew up hearing how great and necessary hope is, which is why I was so shocked when I first heard about the notion to \"abandon hope.\"\r\n\r\nLast year I participated in the tradition of choosing one word as a sort of theme for the year.  <a href=\"http://gracerules.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/one-word-for-2011/\" target=\"_blank\">My word for 2011 was Awaken</a>.  I chose Awaken because I wanted to pursue the practice of being fully present in the moment. In my efforts to learn more about being fully present I ran across the Buddhist idea of \"abandoning hope.\"\r\n\r\nPema Chodron, a Tibetan Buddhist nun, wrote, “One of our deepest habitual patterns is to feel that now is not good enough.”  Chodron encourages us to abandon hope and put our energy into being where we are. She informs us that as long as we are putting our energy into the desire for something or someone to be different (which is what hope leads to) the present moment will be lost.  When the present moment is lost we lose opportunities that can only be found by staying in the moment that hope wants to sweep us away from. When we are swept away from the present reality to a vision of an imagined future we lose answers and solutions and healing that we can only know when we stay and face our pain and our fears.  If we are caught up in hoping for a future result we cannot embrace the present moment.\r\n\r\nA famous Buddhist saying is \"Hope and fear chase each other\'s tails.\" In other words, hope and fear are intrinsically connected - you hope because you are afraid of what is happening or not happening - without fear hope would not be needed.  The present - which is demanding your attention here and now - may not look appealing and yet it may have something deeper to offer you than a hoped for future. The idea is that this method of befriending our present concern affords us a clarity of action that we can never gain while trying to avoid or rid ourselves of our pain and fears.\r\n\r\nNone of this is to say that you shouldn\'t have a positive attitude. And there are certainly times when hope allows people to take that next step and behave \"as if,\" despite all evidence to the contrary.  But abandoning hope isn\'t really about being negative.  Abandoning hope is more about detaching ones self from success or failure.  It isn\'t about giving up in a way that would make you stop working or striving.  It is a kind of positive giving up that not only has the potential to reveal to you what it is that makes you more fully alive but at the same time affords you the ability to put even more effort and energy into whatever that is.\r\n\r\nThomas Merton, the late Christian mystic, advised a friend: \"Do not depend on the hope of results ... you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.  As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself...\"\r\n\r\nWe typically have a purpose for everything that we do.  We want to succeed at accomplishing our goal and not fail.  That is fine.  However, what happens so much of the time is our thoughts of success or failure begin to become more important than what we are doing and how we are doing it.  The fear of failure causes us to become more rigid, less compassionate, more impatient, less creative, more cautious, less willing to take risks - all because we cling so desperately to a successful outcome.\r\n\r\nWOW!  This new way of thinking about hope was making sense to me.  At least enough sense that I wanted to try to put some of this stuff into practice, so over the past year I have tried to merge what I was learning about hope with my pursuit to be more present in the moment.\r\n\r\nWhere did all of this new thinking about hope lead me?\r\n\r\nWell, I still find myself hoping as a reaction to fear or worry.  But at least I am usually aware of that happening and can stop and focus on remaining in the moment - letting myself experience the feelings more fully - being more aware of myself in the present moment (Buddhists call that being mindful or waking up).\r\n\r\nAnd I still find myself performing a task or doing work with a goal in mind but at least I am getting better about the goal not overshadowing the action.  As a result I feel less attached to outcomes and more interested in the value of what I am doing and how I am doing it.  I don\'t know if I am accomplishing as much but I think what I do is a higher quality, more enjoyable and unique.\r\n\r\nMy problems have not all disappeared because none of this stops life from happening.  The hope and fear continue to return because the practice of letting go of hope and fear is hard to embrace. But I keep training and practicing and the more I train and practice the more I am able to lessen unnecessary suffering and worry.  I believe that I am more present in the moment and that the more I wake up the more compassion I have towards myself and others, the more creative I feel, the more risks I am willing to take, the more discernment I seem to have about what I should spend my time and energy pursuing.  It\'s a process and honestly I feel like I could let all the progress slip away without much notice if I don\'t remain vigilant but all in all I think I am discovering something better than hope.  I think I am discovering now.','Better Than Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4284-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 14:50:21','2012-01-17 22:50:21','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4284-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4303,147,'2012-01-17 15:33:33','2012-01-17 23:33:33','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\n\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\nShe asked me,\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\n\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\n\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\n\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\n\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\n\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\n\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\n\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\n\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\n\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision','','','2012-01-17 15:33:33','2012-01-17 23:33:33','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4304,147,'2012-01-17 15:35:52','2012-01-17 23:35:52','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 15:35:52','2012-01-17 23:35:52','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4305,147,'2012-01-17 15:40:34','2012-01-17 23:40:34','','peacesign','','inherit','open','open','','peacesign','','','2012-01-17 15:40:34','2012-01-17 23:40:34','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/peacesign.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4306,147,'2012-01-17 15:43:10','2012-01-17 23:43:10','','peacesign','','inherit','open','open','','peacesign-2','','','2012-01-17 15:43:10','2012-01-17 23:43:10','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/peacesign1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4307,147,'2012-01-17 15:44:26','2012-01-17 23:44:26','','peacesign','','inherit','open','open','','peacesign-3','','','2012-01-17 15:44:26','2012-01-17 23:44:26','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/peacesign2.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4308,147,'2012-01-17 15:36:05','2012-01-17 23:36:05','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 15:36:05','2012-01-17 23:36:05','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4309,147,'2012-01-17 15:44:58','2012-01-17 23:44:58','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision-4','','','2012-01-17 15:44:58','2012-01-17 23:44:58','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4310,147,'2012-01-17 15:45:06','2012-01-17 23:45:06','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision-5','','','2012-01-17 15:45:06','2012-01-17 23:45:06','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4311,147,'2012-01-17 15:45:14','2012-01-17 23:45:14','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-revision-6','','','2012-01-17 15:45:14','2012-01-17 23:45:14','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4312,1,'2012-01-17 20:41:05','2012-01-18 04:41:05','Yes, my 13-year-old daughter has political aspirations.  She is a total drama queen, highly photogenic and that red hair is sure to catch the attention of voters.  But she has more than her looks and dramatic personality.  She has a clear platform that will save lives and lead America into a brighter future.\r\n\r\nHer new found interest in politics was sparked by a Rick Perry ad with this quote:\r\n<blockquote>“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As president, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.”</blockquote>\r\nShe asked me,\r\n<blockquote>“Why does Rick Perry hate gays and why is he making such a big deal out of them serving in the army? Why is he so concerned about prayer in school when the real issue is people being beaten and picked on because people think they are gay?  They don’t even have to be really gay, if they just look a little gay, people pick on them and he is just going to make it worse for kids. Why does he make it sound like being Christian is about hating gays and pushing Christianity on non-Christians?  If I was going to run for office, I would focus on making America a place where no one is picked on – a place where people can just be who they are; gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian.   That is what people my age care about!  We want a country that treats everyone equally.”</blockquote>\r\nI asked my budding politician if she wanted to someday be president and she said, “No, I want to be a congresswoman because they have the real power.” She is one smart little cookie.\r\n\r\nI know Governor Perry is a politician who is playing to the Christian right.  Perhaps he would see my daughter’s dream as naïve and political suicide.   I am sure his campaign manager has little interest in the dreams of a 13-year-old red-head from Virginia.  However, it is the dreams of that little red-head and young people just like her who give me hope for this country.\r\n\r\nSo, if you are a pollster trying to figure out how I will vote – my vote is for Caroline and future generations.  May we all listen to our children and embrace their dreams of a more loving society.\r\n\r\nToday the <a href=\"http://embracerichmond.org/\">Embrace Richmond team</a> celebrated MLK Day in the Hillside community and Qasarah Bey, our program director, did a dramatic reading of <a href=\"http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm\">Dr. King’s “I have a Dream Speech.” </a>Dr. King’s dream and that of my daughter don’t really sound all that different to me.  They sound surprisingly like the dreams of our founding fathers who envisioned a country that affirmed that all men (yes, not only blacks but also gays) were created equal.\r\n\r\nSo as the rhetoric and politicking continue, and as our politicians crawl into the gutter and sling mud at one another, I pray we will not get swept up in the ugliness that tends to only polarize and divide us as a nation.  I pray instead we cling to a dream, a dream that will lead to freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness for all our nation’s citizens.\r\n\r\nOne of my favorite quotes from <a href=\"http://wendymccaig.com/wendy-books/\">my book</a>, <a href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Sanctuary-Streets-Revolution-Transformed-Community/dp/1608990893/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1281559609&amp;sr=8-1\">“From the Sanctuary to the Streets”, </a>was from an interview I did with a case manager named Martha who is helping homeless women break out of poverty. Martha said,\r\n<blockquote>“With a dream comes hope, hope in a future that is better than today’s reality.  A dream is a powerful motivator.”</blockquote>\r\nToday in Hillside Court, one of Richmond’s most distressed communities, we took the time to dream together.  We gave the children from the community a large banner and asked them to draw their dreams.  The children drew pictures of people caring for one another, of a more beautiful neighborhood complete with an apple tree, but the overarching theme was one of peace and mutual respect.  It was amazing how that same theme of love for our fellow man dominated not only the drawings of the children but also of the four adult groups who drew their own dream banners. It was the hope of a more loving society that inspired our dreams today.\r\n\r\nHope in a better future – it is the beginning of every dream.  When our dreams grow out of God’s desires, our dreams have the power to change the world. Have you ever noticed that dreams are contagious?  Dr. King’s dream ignited a hope that spread across this nation and changed our society.  Today in Hillside, I saw people rediscovering hope for their neighborhood and the power of unity to bring it to life.  My daughter’s dream gave me hope in our future generation of leaders and inspired me to write this post.  Want to start a revolution of hope?  Start sharing your dreams!\r\n\r\n<strong>What are your dreams for this community and this country?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>What are the dreams of your children?</strong>\r\n\r\n<strong>Do we dare dream of a society defined by its love?</strong>','Caroline for Congress:  Hope for the Future','','inherit','open','open','','4302-autosave','','','2012-01-17 20:41:05','2012-01-18 04:41:05','',4302,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4302-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4314,150,'2012-01-18 08:00:48','2012-01-18 16:00:48','You\'ve likely met the peppy, seize-the-day sort who likes to begin every morning with a Venti-sized cup of cheerfulness, and blither to everyone, “Today’s the first day of the rest of your life! Get out there and grab it!” Such folks are so full of hope, so <em>chipper</em>, that you want to feed them into one. The rest of the year, we’re pretty sure their doctors aren’t properly supervising their medication. But every new year, every January, somehow we <em>can</em> relate to them a little. ’Cause on the new year, most people catch the hope bug.\r\n\r\nThe views expressed resemble this: “This year is gonna be <em>great</em>. Not like last year. Last year didn’t turn out at all like I hoped. I had <em>this</em> plan; I had <em>that</em> expectation; I believed certain things were gonna take place, but they didn’t. Unforeseen calamities. Tight budgets. New opportunities didn’t pan out. Old problems resurfaced. Last year sucked. But <em>this</em> year… this year’s gonna be different.”\r\n\r\nBy the middle of February—sometimes sooner, sometimes later—that optimism is gone, and replaced with the usual, “Meh. Same junk, different day.”\r\n\r\nWhy is that? Some of it has to do with our success at our new year’s resolutions. I don’t make ’em anymore—I resolve to fix problems as I find them, instead of accumulating them for January, or (which is more common) realizing that I don’t <em>have</em> any on the first, and scramble to come up with something… which I half-heartedly attempt, and give up by the eighth. The spirit wasn’t any more willing than the flesh. Evidence shows many are the same way: Resolutions are invented as answers to the ubiquitous, “What’s your resolutions?” But people don’t actually care enough to follow through with them, and won’t. Darn near everyone I know has started one of those programs where you read the bible in a year. Darned few of them ever survive <em>Leviticus</em>.\r\n\r\nSo, as their hope in personal change slowly evaporates, so does their hope for the promise of the new year. They gradually stop thinking about it; it’s not a <em>new</em> year anymore. Hope dies. It’s only picked back up on a case-by-case basis: Might get a new car, which’ll be better than the old one. Or a new job, which’ll be better than the old one. Or have a new kid, which’ll be better than… okay, let’s not go there, even though we <em>all</em> think it.\r\n\r\nChristians tend to talk about hope around New Year’s—because everyone else is, so why can’t we? And churches make their own resolutions: Some schedule prayer times, or fasts, so as to seek God’s will for the new year. Largely that’s the same as his will for the <em>old</em> year: Love him, love neighbors; stop pretending to follow Jesus more than you do, or to be so busy, or too short of money, or have your messy life sorted out. Sometimes pastors schedule events, not because they’re looking for new direction, but because they wish their people would repent. Sometimes they’re just as dumbfounded. And like every other resolution, once the zeal wears off, things go back to the same old routine… till next year, when our Christmas bellies well up with hope (or is that food?) in time for the new year.\r\n\r\nThe only other times Christians talk about hope are when disaster strikes: People die, or are unwell, or lose jobs and money, or relationships end, or threats of all the above. Then we talk about putting our hope in God rather than transitory things. We talk about the resurrection, or the Kingdom of heaven, when God will put everything right and disaster won’t ever strike again. Sometimes we preemptively talk about these things <em>before</em> disaster strikes, just in case Christians delude ourselves into believing everything under Jesus will be sorted out like a romantic comedy. And sometimes we do a poor good job of it; consequently people quit Jesus when they find out your best life <em>now</em> is not, and never has been, a biblical guarantee.\r\n\r\nSo: New Years and disasters. Are those the only times we Christians focus on hope? For many, yes. Which means we’re really fumbling the ball.\r\n\r\nThe entire Christian life is supposed to be one of hope. We trust in Jesus to save us from sin and death, and to bring us the Kingdom. We’re meant to function in the Kingdom, not at the end of time, but <em>right now</em>, as if it’s arrived already, so near we can poke it. How’re you gonna lose hope of something when it’s so near? But we don’t bring it near. We picture it far away, at the end of time. Or, depending on your church, on the far side of the Great Tribulation—which you’re either fighting tooth and nail to prevent, or you’re trying to hasten by voting for Newt Gingrich.\r\n\r\nEither way, for a lot of Christians the Kingdom is far, and so is their hope. Where there is no vision, no revelations of what God’s up to, no recognition of our proper role in the cosmic plan, people give up, and do as they like, (<em>Proverbs</em> 29.18) ’cause hope is wishful thinking, rather than something definite. Hope becomes an easy thing to give up on, as easy as a new year’s resolution, or a day left un-seized.\r\n\r\nWe <em>can’t</em> live like that. We may as well be pagans.\r\n\r\nI’m not saying Christians should manufacture a therapeutic sense of hope for the sake of getting through life, and distract ourselves from the evils of this world with good deeds. Certainly I’ll be accused of it, with all this Kingdom talk. The focus should be on living <em>in</em> hope—living as if our hopes have been realized, because they absolutely will be. The Kingdom of heaven is like a man who asks for an advance on his Christmas bonus, and expects that the generous amount consumed it, only to discover that it barely scratched the surface.\r\n\r\nThat’s what our hope should look like.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Fumbling the Ball on Hope','','publish','open','open','','fumbling-the-ball-on-hope','','','2012-01-18 08:54:32','2012-01-18 16:54:32','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4314',0,'post','',3),(4315,150,'2012-01-17 17:16:45','2012-01-18 01:16:45','','Fumbling the ball on hope','','inherit','open','open','','dropping-the-ball-on-hope','','','2012-01-17 17:16:45','2012-01-18 01:16:45','',4314,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/dropping-the-ball-on-hope.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4316,150,'2012-01-17 17:02:16','2012-01-18 01:02:16','You\'ve likely met the peppy, seize-the-day sort who likes to begin every morning with a Venti-sized cup of cheerfulness, and blither to everyone, “Today’s the first day of the rest of your life! Get out there and grab it!” Such folks are so full of hope, so <em>chipper</em>, that you want to feed them into one. The rest of the year, we’re pretty sure their doctors aren’t properly supervising their medication. But every new year, every January, somehow we <em>can</em> relate to them a little. ’Cause on the new year, most people catch the hope bug.\n\nThe views expressed resemble this: “This year is gonna be <em>great</em>. Not like last year. Last year didn’t turn out at all like I hoped. I had <em>this</em> plan; I had <em>that</em> expectation; I believed certain things were gonna take place, but they didn’t. Unforeseen calamities. Tight budgets. New opportunities didn’t pan out. Old problems resurfaced. Last year sucked. But <em>this</em> year… this year’s gonna be different.”\n\nBy the middle of February—sometimes sooner, sometimes later—that optimism is gone, and replaced with the usual, “Meh. Same junk, different day.”\n\nWhy is that? Some of it has to do with our success at our new year’s resolutions. I don’t make ’em anymore—I resolve to fix problems as I find them, instead of accumulating them for January, or (which is more common) realizing that I don’t <em>have</em> any on the first, and scramble to come up with something… which I half-heartedly attempt, and give up by the eighth. The spirit wasn’t any more willing than the flesh. Evidence shows many are the same way: Resolutions are invented as answers to the ubiquitous, “What’s your resolutions?” But people don’t actually care enough to follow through with them, and won’t. Darn near everyone I know has started one of those programs where you read the bible in a year. Darned few of them ever survive <em>Leviticus</em>.\n\nSo, as their hope in personal change slowly evaporates, so does their hope for the promise of the new year. They gradually stop thinking about it; it’s not a <em>new</em> year anymore. Hope dies. It’s only picked back up on a case-by-case basis: Might get a new car, which’ll be better than the old one. Or a new job, which’ll be better than the old one. Or have a new kid, which’ll be better than… okay, let’s not go there, even though we <em>all</em> think it.\n\nChristians tend to talk about hope around New Year’s—because everyone else is, so why can’t we? And churches make their own resolutions: Some schedule prayer times, or fasts, so as to seek God’s will for the new year. Largely that’s the same as his will for the <em>old</em> year: Love him, love neighbors; stop pretending to follow Jesus more than you do, or to be so busy, or too short of money, or have your messy life sorted out. Sometimes pastors schedule events, not because they’re looking for new direction, but because they wish their people would repent. Sometimes they’re just as dumbfounded. And like every other resolution, once the zeal wears off, things go back to the same old routine… till next year, when our Christmas bellies well up with hope (or is that food?) in time for the new year.\n\nThe only other times Christians talk about hope are when disaster strikes: People die, or are unwell, or lose jobs and money, or relationships end, or threats of all the above. Then we talk about putting our hope in God rather than transitory things. We talk about the resurrection, or the Kingdom of heaven, when God will put everything right and disaster won’t ever strike again. Sometimes we preemptively talk about these things <em>before</em> disaster strikes, just in case Christians delude ourselves into believing everything under Jesus will be sorted out like a romantic comedy. And sometimes we do a poor good job of it; consequently people quit Jesus when they find out your best life <em>now</em> is not, and never has been, a biblical guarantee.\n\nSo: New Years and disasters. Are those the only times we Christians focus on hope? For many, yes. Which means we’re really fumbling the ball.\n\nThe entire Christian life is supposed to be one of hope. We trust in Jesus to save us from sin and death, and to bring us the Kingdom. We’re meant to function in the Kingdom, not at the end of time, but <em>right now</em>, as if it’s arrived already, so near we can poke it. How’re you gonna lose hope of something when it’s so near? But we don’t bring it near. We picture it far away, at the end of time. Or, depending on your church, on the far side of the Great Tribulation—which you’re either fighting tooth and nail to prevent, or you’re trying to hasten by voting for Newt Gingrich.\n\nEither way, for a lot of Christians the Kingdom is far, and so is their hope. Where there is no vision, no revelations of what God’s up to, no recognition of our proper role in the cosmic plan, people give up, and do as they like, (<em>Proverbs</em> 29.18) ’cause hope is wishful thinking, rather than something definite. Hope becomes an easy thing to give up on, as easy as a new year’s resolution, or a day left un-seized.\n\nWe <em>can’t</em> live like that. We may as well be pagans.\n\nI’m not saying Christians should manufacture a therapeutic sense of hope for the sake of getting through life, and distract ourselves from the evils of this world with good deeds. Certainly I’ll be accused of it, with all this Kingdom talk. The focus should be on living <em>in</em> hope—living as if our hopes have been realized, because they absolutely will be. The Kingdom of heaven is like a man who asks for an advance on his Christmas bonus, and expects that the generous amount consumed it, only to discover that it barely scratched the surface.\n\nThat’s what our hope should look like.','Fumbling the ball on hope.','','inherit','open','open','','4314-revision','','','2012-01-17 17:02:16','2012-01-18 01:02:16','',4314,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4314-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4317,150,'2012-01-17 17:20:31','2012-01-18 01:20:31','You\'ve likely met the peppy, seize-the-day sort who likes to begin every morning with a Venti-sized cup of cheerfulness, and blither to everyone, “Today’s the first day of the rest of your life! Get out there and grab it!” Such folks are so full of hope, so <em>chipper</em>, that you want to feed them into one. The rest of the year, we’re pretty sure their doctors aren’t properly supervising their medication. But every new year, every January, somehow we <em>can</em> relate to them a little. ’Cause on the new year, most people catch the hope bug.\r\n\r\nThe views expressed resemble this: “This year is gonna be <em>great</em>. Not like last year. Last year didn’t turn out at all like I hoped. I had <em>this</em> plan; I had <em>that</em> expectation; I believed certain things were gonna take place, but they didn’t. Unforeseen calamities. Tight budgets. New opportunities didn’t pan out. Old problems resurfaced. Last year sucked. But <em>this</em> year… this year’s gonna be different.”\r\n\r\nBy the middle of February—sometimes sooner, sometimes later—that optimism is gone, and replaced with the usual, “Meh. Same junk, different day.”\r\n\r\nWhy is that? Some of it has to do with our success at our new year’s resolutions. I don’t make ’em anymore—I resolve to fix problems as I find them, instead of accumulating them for January, or (which is more common) realizing that I don’t <em>have</em> any on the first, and scramble to come up with something… which I half-heartedly attempt, and give up by the eighth. The spirit wasn’t any more willing than the flesh. Evidence shows many are the same way: Resolutions are invented as answers to the ubiquitous, “What’s your resolutions?” But people don’t actually care enough to follow through with them, and won’t. Darn near everyone I know has started one of those programs where you read the bible in a year. Darned few of them ever survive <em>Leviticus</em>.\r\n\r\nSo, as their hope in personal change slowly evaporates, so does their hope for the promise of the new year. They gradually stop thinking about it; it’s not a <em>new</em> year anymore. Hope dies. It’s only picked back up on a case-by-case basis: Might get a new car, which’ll be better than the old one. Or a new job, which’ll be better than the old one. Or have a new kid, which’ll be better than… okay, let’s not go there, even though we <em>all</em> think it.\r\n\r\nChristians tend to talk about hope around New Year’s—because everyone else is, so why can’t we? And churches make their own resolutions: Some schedule prayer times, or fasts, so as to seek God’s will for the new year. Largely that’s the same as his will for the <em>old</em> year: Love him, love neighbors; stop pretending to follow Jesus more than you do, or to be so busy, or too short of money, or have your messy life sorted out. Sometimes pastors schedule events, not because they’re looking for new direction, but because they wish their people would repent. Sometimes they’re just as dumbfounded. And like every other resolution, once the zeal wears off, things go back to the same old routine… till next year, when our Christmas bellies well up with hope (or is that food?) in time for the new year.\r\n\r\nThe only other times Christians talk about hope are when disaster strikes: People die, or are unwell, or lose jobs and money, or relationships end, or threats of all the above. Then we talk about putting our hope in God rather than transitory things. We talk about the resurrection, or the Kingdom of heaven, when God will put everything right and disaster won’t ever strike again. Sometimes we preemptively talk about these things <em>before</em> disaster strikes, just in case Christians delude ourselves into believing everything under Jesus will be sorted out like a romantic comedy. And sometimes we do a poor good job of it; consequently people quit Jesus when they find out your best life <em>now</em> is not, and never has been, a biblical guarantee.\r\n\r\nSo: New Years and disasters. Are those the only times we Christians focus on hope? For many, yes. Which means we’re really fumbling the ball.\r\n\r\nThe entire Christian life is supposed to be one of hope. We trust in Jesus to save us from sin and death, and to bring us the Kingdom. We’re meant to function in the Kingdom, not at the end of time, but <em>right now</em>, as if it’s arrived already, so near we can poke it. How’re you gonna lose hope of something when it’s so near? But we don’t bring it near. We picture it far away, at the end of time. Or, depending on your church, on the far side of the Great Tribulation—which you’re either fighting tooth and nail to prevent, or you’re trying to hasten by voting for Newt Gingrich.\r\n\r\nEither way, for a lot of Christians the Kingdom is far, and so is their hope. Where there is no vision, no revelations of what God’s up to, no recognition of our proper role in the cosmic plan, people give up, and do as they like, (<em>Proverbs</em> 29.18) ’cause hope is wishful thinking, rather than something definite. Hope becomes an easy thing to give up on, as easy as a new year’s resolution, or a day left un-seized.\r\n\r\nWe <em>can’t</em> live like that. We may as well be pagans.\r\n\r\nI’m not saying Christians should manufacture a therapeutic sense of hope for the sake of getting through life, and distract ourselves from the evils of this world with good deeds. Certainly I’ll be accused of it, with all this Kingdom talk. The focus should be on living <em>in</em> hope—living as if our hopes have been realized, because they absolutely will be. The Kingdom of heaven is like a man who asks for an advance on his Christmas bonus, and expects that the generous amount consumed it, only to discover that it barely scratched the surface.\r\n\r\nThat’s what our hope should look like.','Fumbling the ball on hope.','','inherit','open','open','','4314-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 17:20:31','2012-01-18 01:20:31','',4314,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4314-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4318,150,'2012-01-18 16:01:04','2012-01-19 00:01:04','You\'ve likely met the peppy, seize-the-day sort who likes to begin every morning with a Venti-sized cup of cheerfulness, and blither to everyone, “Today’s the first day of the rest of your life! Get out there and grab it!” Such folks are so full of hope, so <em>chipper</em>, that you want to feed them into one. The rest of the year, we’re pretty sure their doctors aren’t properly supervising their medication. But every new year, every January, somehow we <em>can</em> relate to them a little. ’Cause on the new year, most people catch the hope bug.\n\nThe views expressed resemble this: “This year is gonna be <em>great</em>. Not like last year. Last year didn’t turn out at all like I hoped. I had <em>this</em> plan; I had <em>that</em> expectation; I believed certain things were gonna take place, but they didn’t. Unforeseen calamities. Tight budgets. New opportunities didn’t pan out. Old problems resurfaced. Last year sucked. But <em>this</em> year… this year’s gonna be different.”\n\nBy the middle of February—sometimes sooner, sometimes later—that optimism is gone, and replaced with the usual, “Meh. Same junk, different day.”\n\nWhy is that? Some of it has to do with our success at our new year’s resolutions. I don’t make ’em anymore—I resolve to fix problems as I find them, instead of accumulating them for January, or (which is more common) realizing that I don’t <em>have</em> any on the first, and scramble to come up with something… which I half-heartedly attempt, and give up by the eighth. The spirit wasn’t any more willing than the flesh. Evidence shows many are the same way: Resolutions are invented as answers to the ubiquitous, “What’s your resolutions?” But people don’t actually care enough to follow through with them, and won’t. Darn near everyone I know has started one of those programs where you read the bible in a year. Darned few of them ever survive <em>Leviticus</em>.\n\nSo, as their hope in personal change slowly evaporates, so does their hope for the promise of the new year. They gradually stop thinking about it; it’s not a <em>new</em> year anymore. Hope dies. It’s only picked back up on a case-by-case basis: Might get a new car, which’ll be better than the old one. Or a new job, which’ll be better than the old one. Or have a new kid, which’ll be better than… okay, let’s not go there, even though we <em>all</em> think it.\n\nChristians tend to talk about hope around New Year’s—because everyone else is, so why can’t we? And churches make their own resolutions: Some schedule prayer times, or fasts, so as to seek God’s will for the new year. Largely that’s the same as his will for the <em>old</em> year: Love him, love neighbors; stop pretending to follow Jesus more than you do, or to be so busy, or too short of money, or have your messy life sorted out. Sometimes pastors schedule events, not because they’re looking for new direction, but because they wish their people would repent. Sometimes they’re just as dumbfounded. And like every other resolution, once the zeal wears off, things go back to the same old routine… till next year, when our Christmas bellies well up with hope (or is that food?) in time for the new year.\n\nThe only other times Christians talk about hope are when disaster strikes: People die, or are unwell, or lose jobs and money, or relationships end, or threats of all the above. Then we talk about putting our hope in God rather than transitory things. We talk about the resurrection, or the Kingdom of heaven, when God will put everything right and disaster won’t ever strike again. Sometimes we preemptively talk about these things <em>before</em> disaster strikes, just in case Christians delude ourselves into believing everything under Jesus will be sorted out like a romantic comedy. And sometimes we do a poor good job of it; consequently people quit Jesus when they find out your best life <em>now</em> is not, and never has been, a biblical guarantee.\n\nSo: New Years and disasters. Are those the only times we Christians focus on hope? For many, yes. Which means we’re really fumbling the ball.\n\nThe entire Christian life is supposed to be one of hope. We trust in Jesus to save us from sin and death, and to bring us the Kingdom. We’re meant to function in the Kingdom, not at the end of time, but <em>right now</em>, as if it’s arrived already, so near we can poke it. How’re you gonna lose hope of something when it’s so near? But we don’t bring it near. We picture it far away, at the end of time. Or, depending on your church, on the far side of the Great Tribulation—which you’re either fighting tooth and nail to prevent, or you’re trying to hasten by voting for Newt Gingrich.\n\nEither way, for a lot of Christians the Kingdom is far, and so is their hope. Where there is no vision, no revelations of what God’s up to, no recognition of our proper role in the cosmic plan, people give up, and do as they like, (<em>Proverbs</em> 29.18) ’cause hope is wishful thinking, rather than something definite. Hope becomes an easy thing to give up on, as easy as a new year’s resolution, or a day left un-seized.\n\nWe <em>can’t</em> live like that. We may as well be pagans.\n\nI’m not saying Christians should manufacture a therapeutic sense of hope for the sake of getting through life, and distract ourselves from the evils of this world with good deeds. Certainly I’ll be accused of it, with all this Kingdom talk. The focus should be on living <em>in</em> hope—living as if our hopes have been realized, because they absolutely will be. The Kingdom of heaven is like a man who asks for an advance on his Christmas bonus, and expects that the generous amount consumed it, only to discover that it barely scratched the surface.\n\nThat’s what our hope should look like.\n\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Fumbling the Ball on Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4314-autosave','','','2012-01-18 16:01:04','2012-01-19 00:01:04','',4314,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4314-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4320,30,'2012-01-18 08:00:02','2012-01-18 16:00:02','<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: left;\">When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the near-by ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for the perfect new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson without my teacher recognizing just how little I had practiced.</div>\r\nBut as I aged, my relationship with hope grew rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, the adult me has frequently been afraid to hope.\r\n\r\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\r\n\r\nBut hope? That one throws me.\r\n\r\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\r\n\r\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\r\n\r\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\r\n\r\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\r\n\r\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope nudged me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\r\n\r\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\r\n\r\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\r\n\r\nI want all of us - me, my family, my friends, you - to be content to hope.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Content to Hope','','publish','open','open','','content-to-hope','','','2012-01-18 09:18:57','2012-01-18 17:18:57','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4320',0,'post','',11),(4321,76,'2012-01-17 08:50:30','2012-01-17 16:50:30','<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-4216\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hands.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"350\" /></a>I\'m writing this fairly late on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I\'ve been feeling like I wanted to write about Rev. King\'s life and ministry, more intentionally this time than I have in past years, and I\'m not totally sure why.  I wonder if it has to do with the babies. Everything has to do with the twins, D and A, these days, now that they are growing up at the speed of light with all their crawling around and manipulating me with their cute, pout-y faces. They\'re 10 months old. Old. And I know there\'s still so much more to come with them.\r\n\r\nI digress, but only slightly. I worry about them. I wonder what it will be like for them in elementary school, the horrible season of middle school, and the much-too-adult-like world of high school - if they will be judged or bullied, ignored or peer pressured because they look different. Not quite white. Not quite Korean. Granted, I know this will probably happen, and not simply because of their race, but because of their genders, or whatever their choices, even their faith (whatever it is in the future). But, for those who don\'t have to deal with the question of race being an equation in people\'s assumptions and expectations of you...they don\'t get it. They don\'t get that this question plagues you, haunts you, burdens you, and just sometimes makes you feel less certain about not only your ability, but about your humanity.\r\n\r\nOf course, I want to protect them. I want to plant the seeds of King\'s words deep into their consciences so that nothing can possibly tear out their dreams. I want their roots to grow into something beautiful, wild, free, and true. Because I had hoped for these babies for so long and hard that I can\'t imagine anyone hurting them or taking away their experience of love and grace, and how they are God\'s dear children.\r\n\r\nAnd then, I remember what it was like to hope for them.\r\n\r\nHope is funny. And, not always funny in the \"HA-HA, that\'s hilarious,\" or \"HA, that\'s clever/ironic/interesting.\" Hope can be a bitch, too. When we were first trying to get pregnant, when my days were saturated with longing, possibility, despair, strange hope...I hated and despised hope for awhile. Hope, which created all these feelings and desires only seemed to accentuate the pain and loneliness of failure and disappointment, but I couldn\'t help but get up each day because of that hope, only to get knocked down again...a vicious cycle. But, when that hope was finally and miraculously fulfilled, when we were cautiously optimistic, when they showed up and stole my heart and changed everything, I knew that hope would always be an undercurrent in my life.\r\n\r\nNot simply as optimism or a naive clinging to fantasies, but as something that would constantly transform me from the inside out even if the world around me stayed the same. The babies literally transformed me from the inside, and out now. And because of that hope, I can and do hope andwork for a better world for them. Better schools. Better churches. Better communities. Better lives. Not a painless or pain-free world, but one where they will get up each day and use their hands and hearts to live honestly and passionately.\r\n\r\nSo, the timing of this post is serendipitous because who else to inspire hope more than MLK Jr? My 2012 MLK Jr. quote (since I and so many others post quotes on Facebook, which I actually do love and look forward to each year) is: \"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.\" There\'s something poignant and real about the creatively maladjusted, and extremely appropriate to me and my life, particularly as I figure out motherhood and ministry. There\'s hope for all of us, particularly the maladjusted, which I count myself to be wholeheartedly. I hope the babies feel free to do so in the future, too, no matter what others say or expect of them, as they grow into God\'s beloved, and share God\'s love and compassion with others.\r\n\r\n[Photo from <a href=\"http://www.etsy.com/listing/71493674/romance-sweet-love-heart-hands-wedding?ref=sr_gallery_8&amp;sref=&amp;ga_search_submit=&amp;ga_search_query=holding+hands&amp;ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_ship_to=US&amp;ga_view_type=gallery&amp;ga_page=3&amp;ga_search_type=handmade&amp;ga_facet=handmade\">Etsy</a>]','Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted','','inherit','open','open','','4211-revision-6','','','2012-01-17 08:50:30','2012-01-17 16:50:30','',4211,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4211-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4322,30,'2012-01-17 19:12:20','2012-01-18 03:12:20','I want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision.\n\nBut I sometimes have an uneasy relationship with hope. Despite what I want to see, I am frequently afraid to hope.\n\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\n\nBut hope? That one throws me.\n\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels bad. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable?','Learning to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision','','','2012-01-17 19:12:20','2012-01-18 03:12:20','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4323,30,'2012-01-17 19:29:18','2012-01-18 03:29:18','I want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision.\n\nBut I sometimes have an uneasy relationship with hope. Despite what I want to see, I am frequently afraid to hope.\n\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\n\nBut hope? That one throws me.\n\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels bad. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?','Learning to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 19:29:18','2012-01-18 03:29:18','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4324,30,'2012-01-17 19:32:05','2012-01-18 03:32:05','When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for a new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would\n\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision.\n\nBut I sometimes have an uneasy relationship with hope. Despite what I want to see, I am frequently afraid to hope.\n\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\n\nBut hope? That one throws me.\n\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\n\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\n\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels bad. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?','Learning to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 19:32:05','2012-01-18 03:32:05','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4325,30,'2012-01-17 19:54:47','2012-01-18 03:54:47','When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for a new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson.\n\nBut as I\'ve aged, my relationship with hope has grown rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, I am frequently afraid to hope.\n\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\n\nBut hope? That one throws me.\n\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\n\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\n\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\n\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\n\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope allowed me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\n\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\n\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\n\n&nbsp;','Content to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-4','','','2012-01-17 19:54:47','2012-01-18 03:54:47','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(4326,30,'2012-01-17 19:58:35','2012-01-18 03:58:35','When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the near-by ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for the perfect new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson without my teacher recognizing just how little I had practiced.\n\nBut as I aged, my relationship with hope grew rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, the adult me has frequently been afraid to hope.\n\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\n\nBut hope? That one throws me.\n\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\n\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\n\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\n\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\n\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope nudged me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\n\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\n\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\n\nI want all of us - me, my family, my friends, you - to be content to hope.','Content to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-5','','','2012-01-17 19:58:35','2012-01-18 03:58:35','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(4327,1,'2012-01-17 21:01:16','2012-01-18 05:01:16','<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: left;\">When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the near-by ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for the perfect new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson without my teacher recognizing just how little I had practiced.</div>\r\nBut as I aged, my relationship with hope grew rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, the adult me has frequently been afraid to hope.\r\n\r\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\r\n\r\nBut hope? That one throws me.\r\n\r\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\r\n\r\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\r\n\r\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\r\n\r\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\r\n\r\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope nudged me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\r\n\r\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\r\n\r\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\r\n\r\nI want all of us - me, my family, my friends, you - to be content to hope.','Content to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-autosave','','','2012-01-17 21:01:16','2012-01-18 05:01:16','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4357,1,'2012-01-17 20:39:04','2012-01-18 04:39:04','<div>\r\n\r\nThe thing that gives me hope is the ability to experience and learn from one another.\r\n\r\n</div>\r\nA few years ago I was flying from Miami to Detroit when I met a gentleman of the Baha’i faith. Normally I am that person who will make eye contact with you when you sit down but keep fervently to myself for the entirely of the flight. But somehow this gentleman and I ended up in conversation about faith and I asked him questions for the entire two hours. “So, what happens after you die?” “What about redemption?” “Do you have scriptures?” “How does this impact your everyday life?” It was a truly fascinating conversation as I had never met someone like him before. Nothing thrills me more than to have an open conversation with someone of beliefs very different from mine. We didn’t argue, debate, or try to convert each other. We just talked.\r\n\r\nThis last summer my friend Nathan came up to visit from Virgina. We grew up together but he moved to the south partway through high school. We fought a lot through high school but he was a steadfast friend and despite our disagreements kept me from making more than a few stupid mistakes. We sat at a Chipotle in the middle of town on a warm evening talking. Another friend from high school, Josiah, was there. I never really talked much to him while we were in youth group together, but after running into him several times over the summer have discovered just how intelligent and funny he is. Nathan and I talked non-stop for a couple of hours, occasionally checking to make sure we hadn’t bored Josiah to tears. After the several years Nathan had been away, we were able to pick up right where we left off (without the fighting). I would jump into stories and kept forgetting that he hadn’t been here the whole time for the back story.\r\n\r\nThis Christmas there was a gift exchange at work. Twenty-six of us sat in one of the conference rooms, ate pizza, and roared as each new gift was opened and gift-stealing commenced. I had a moment where everything got quiet in my head and I just sat back in awe. To my right was a newer coworker who has been amazing to work with who eventually was envious of the sauerkraut and Best Buy gift card I ended up with. To my left was one of the first people I met on the job who has become a good friend, go-to nerd friend, and the one who ended up with fish boxers. He tried to pawn them off for the rest of the game.\r\n\r\nAs I looked around the room I saw familiar faces and new faces, but each of them melded into the culture and committed to being a part of our team. Some of my friends at work are Pinball championships, owners of gigantic music libraries, avid Doctor Who fans, gamers, musicians, beer connoisseurs, math aficionados, amazing graphic designers, and all of them are full of stories. All of them are extremely smart and bring completely different things to the table. Despite being so varied and different, they collectively make up a great team that I am proud to be a part of.\r\n\r\nI met up with some girlfriends at Mainstreet Billards a little before Christmas. One of them, Heather, I had also went to youth group with. We were semi-friends back in high school but we didn’t really spend time with the same people. I didn’t see her for a couple of years after we graduated and then I ran into her at a coffee shop accidentally and then shortly thereafter was brought into her group of friends. She me invited to her house, parties, and wedding. After hanging out and drinking a cocktail that tasted like crushed vitamin C at Mainstreet, I ran next door and got some coffee from another friend, Kate, who I met a few months after moving to Michigan.\r\n\r\nWalking back to my car in the snow, my fresh Kona bean coffee in my hands, all I could do was smile. Christmas and New Year’s always makes me more nostalgic than usual, but the thought I couldn’t shake was what incredible people I have in my life.\r\n\r\nThere are times where the tedium of life gets me feeling antsy, like those days I come back from a big grocery store trip only to discover I’ve missed one crucial item. Friends and family members are visited by illness and have brushes with death and I question why people don’t opt-out of this life more often.\r\n\r\nBut what brings me back to the surface are the magnificent souls I have the opportunity to interact with.\r\n\r\nThis gives me hope because my understanding of humanity is constantly changing. I meet new people with new stories, new hobbies, and new accents. I get the chance to see beyond my own little boring life and swap anecdotes with strangers who might become my next best friend.\r\n\r\nPeople help me grow and give my heart fuel to continue on to another day.  I get to hear new perspectives, understand new issues, and share passions with them. I have people I can text at midnight when I’m having a bad night, and people I see on a regular basis who care about me. There are those I don’t see for a long time, who, when I run into them remind me just how much I miss them.\r\n\r\nThis is what gives me hope. I get the chance to experience another person in all their humanity and they get to experience me in mine. I have the chance to cry in front of them, laugh hysterically at their stories, share beliefs, geek out over our favorite shows, and listen to them. This is the greatest gift of being a human.\r\n\r\nWhy don’t people opt-out more? Because, man, these people are incredible.','Hope: Oh, the Humanity!','','inherit','open','open','','4331-revision-8','','','2012-01-17 20:39:04','2012-01-18 04:39:04','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4331-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(4328,30,'2012-01-17 19:58:50','2012-01-18 03:58:50','When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the near-by ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for the perfect new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson without my teacher recognizing just how little I had practiced.\r\n\r\nBut as I aged, my relationship with hope grew rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, the adult me has frequently been afraid to hope.\r\n\r\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\r\n\r\nBut hope? That one throws me.\r\n\r\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\r\n\r\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\r\n\r\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\r\n\r\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\r\n\r\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope nudged me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\r\n\r\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\r\n\r\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\r\n\r\nI want all of us - me, my family, my friends, you - to be content to hope.','Content to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-6','','','2012-01-17 19:58:50','2012-01-18 03:58:50','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(4356,1,'2012-01-17 21:00:04','2012-01-18 05:00:04','<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: left;\">When I was young, hope was easy. I hoped for a trip to the near-by ice cream stand on a hot summer afternoon. I hoped for the perfect new toy for my birthday. I hoped that I would be able to fake my way through my piano lesson without my teacher recognizing just how little I had practiced.</div>\r\nBut as I aged, my relationship with hope grew rather uneasy. Despite my youthful abandon with hope, the adult me has frequently been afraid to hope.\r\n\r\nI’m not afraid to share my opinion, even if it’s controversial. I’m not afraid to ask difficult questions, even if it means that I may not find a satisfactory answer. I’m not even afraid of spiders, and those things have eight legs and like a million eyes!\r\n\r\nBut hope? That one throws me.\r\n\r\nFor much of my adult life, I have tried to learn contentment. To see what I have as enough. To accept that I am sufficient. To avoid striving. To avoid beating myself up. To avoid looking down on my circumstances.\r\n\r\nBut in the process of working toward contentment, I lost much of my ability to hope.\r\n\r\nI want to believe that hope is good, but it often feels negative. What if I hope for something and it doesn’t happen? Isn’t disappointment a regular companion to hope? Isn\'t the point of hope that the thing hoped for is somewhat unattainable? How do I live with hope that is unfulfilled?\r\n\r\nDisappointment is one thing if we\'re talking about a soft serve ice cream cone, but quite another when we\'re talking about a difficult relationship that needs to be restored. A birthday where I didn\'t get exactly the gift that I wanted might be bad for a day or two, but a rejection of my creative offerings can feel much more devastating. When the stakes get higher, hope seems like a danger that might not be worth it.\r\n\r\nBut I have seen glimpses of hopes fulfilled. When I was content to believe that music was something that had been excised from my life completely, hope allowed me to ask for just one more chance to participate in something that opened up so many other musical opportunities. When I was content to think that my writing was just for me and that it wasn\'t really for public consumption, hope nudged me to share something that touched people in a way that was more far-reaching than I could have seen.\r\n\r\nYes, hope can be a precursor to disappointment, but it can also be a gateway to joy and excitement.\r\n\r\nI want to live in a world where hope is the norm, where we are free to dream for things that seem impossible. I want to be able to stretch my mind open and see things that are beyond what my practical or logical self is able to envision. I want my kids to hope for ice cream and toys and beauty and justice and amazement.\r\n\r\nI want all of us - me, my family, my friends, you - to be content to hope.','Content to Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4320-revision-8','','','2012-01-17 21:00:04','2012-01-18 05:00:04','',4320,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4320-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(4838,0,'2012-02-01 18:39:32','2012-02-02 02:39:32','Family, Health, Work, relationships\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: Cherie Newell\nAUTHOR EMAIL: cjhnewell@gmail.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://50thingsbeforeiturn50.wordpress.com/\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 68.55.49.51\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; Cherie Newell\n    [Email] =&gt; cjhnewell@gmail.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; http://50thingsbeforeiturn50.wordpress.com/\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; Family, Health, Work, relationships\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; cjhn\n)\n','Cherie Newell - 2012-02-01 18:39:32','','publish','open','open','','e6866acb73dd0cae7070012bf2ab1ab4','','','2012-02-01 18:39:32','2012-02-02 02:39:32','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4838',0,'feedback','',0),(4331,38,'2012-01-18 08:00:39','2012-01-18 16:00:39','<div>\r\n\r\nThe thing that gives me hope is the ability to experience and learn from one another.\r\n\r\n</div>\r\nA few years ago I was flying from Miami to Detroit when I met a gentleman of the Baha’i faith. Normally I am that person who will make eye contact with you when you sit down but keep fervently to myself for the entirely of the flight. But somehow this gentleman and I ended up in conversation about faith and I asked him questions for the entire two hours. “So, what happens after you die?” “What about redemption?” “Do you have scriptures?” “How does this impact your everyday life?” It was a truly fascinating conversation as I had never met someone like him before. Nothing thrills me more than to have an open conversation with someone of beliefs very different from mine. We didn’t argue, debate, or try to convert each other. We just talked.\r\n\r\nThis last summer my friend Nathan came up to visit from Virgina. We grew up together but he moved to the south partway through high school. We fought a lot through high school but he was a steadfast friend and despite our disagreements kept me from making more than a few stupid mistakes. We sat at a Chipotle in the middle of town on a warm evening talking. Another friend from high school, Josiah, was there. I never really talked much to him while we were in youth group together, but after running into him several times over the summer have discovered just how intelligent and funny he is. Nathan and I talked non-stop for a couple of hours, occasionally checking to make sure we hadn’t bored Josiah to tears. After the several years Nathan had been away, we were able to pick up right where we left off (without the fighting). I would jump into stories and kept forgetting that he hadn’t been here the whole time for the back story.\r\n\r\nThis Christmas there was a gift exchange at work. Twenty-six of us sat in one of the conference rooms, ate pizza, and roared as each new gift was opened and gift-stealing commenced. I had a moment where everything got quiet in my head and I just sat back in awe. To my right was a newer coworker who has been amazing to work with who eventually was envious of the sauerkraut and Best Buy gift card I ended up with. To my left was one of the first people I met on the job who has become a good friend, go-to nerd friend, and the one who ended up with fish boxers. He tried to pawn them off for the rest of the game.\r\n\r\nAs I looked around the room I saw familiar faces and new faces, but each of them melded into the culture and committed to being a part of our team. Some of my friends at work are Pinball championships, owners of gigantic music libraries, avid Doctor Who fans, gamers, musicians, beer connoisseurs, math aficionados, amazing graphic designers, and all of them are full of stories. All of them are extremely smart and bring completely different things to the table. Despite being so varied and different, they collectively make up a great team that I am proud to be a part of.\r\n\r\nI met up with some girlfriends at Mainstreet Billards a little before Christmas. One of them, Heather, I had also went to youth group with. We were semi-friends back in high school but we didn’t really spend time with the same people. I didn’t see her for a couple of years after we graduated and then I ran into her at a coffee shop accidentally and then shortly thereafter was brought into her group of friends. She me invited to her house, parties, and wedding. After hanging out and drinking a cocktail that tasted like crushed vitamin C at Mainstreet, I ran next door and got some coffee from another friend, Kate, who I met a few months after moving to Michigan.\r\n\r\nWalking back to my car in the snow, my fresh Kona bean coffee in my hands, all I could do was smile. Christmas and New Year’s always makes me more nostalgic than usual, but the thought I couldn’t shake was what incredible people I have in my life.\r\n\r\nThere are times where the tedium of life gets me feeling antsy, like those days I come back from a big grocery store trip only to discover I’ve missed one crucial item. Friends and family members are visited by illness and have brushes with death and I question why people don’t opt-out of this life more often.\r\n\r\nBut what brings me back to the surface are the magnificent souls I have the opportunity to interact with.\r\n\r\nThis gives me hope because my understanding of humanity is constantly changing. I meet new people with new stories, new hobbies, and new accents. I get the chance to see beyond my own little boring life and swap anecdotes with strangers who might become my next best friend.\r\n\r\nPeople help me grow and give my heart fuel to continue on to another day.  I get to hear new perspectives, understand new issues, and share passions with them. I have people I can text at midnight when I’m having a bad night, and people I see on a regular basis who care about me. There are those I don’t see for a long time, who, when I run into them remind me just how much I miss them.\r\n\r\nThis is what gives me hope. I get the chance to experience another person in all their humanity and they get to experience me in mine. I have the chance to cry in front of them, laugh hysterically at their stories, share beliefs, geek out over our favorite shows, and listen to them. This is the greatest gift of being a human.\r\n\r\nWhy don’t people opt-out more? Because, man, these people are incredible.\r\n\r\n[This post is part of the <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">Synchroblog on Hope</a>.  For a full list of participants and posts, <a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/synchroblog-on-hope/\">go here</a>.]','Hope: Oh, the Humanity!','','publish','open','open','','hope-oh-the-humanity','','','2012-01-18 08:57:44','2012-01-18 16:57:44','',0,'http://provoketive.com/?p=4331',0,'post','',3),(4332,1,'2012-01-17 20:20:46','2012-01-18 04:20:46','Amazement looks like a six-year-old girl, twirling \'round, blond ringlets elongated as they spin, arms outstretched, face lifted to the heavens.\n\nAmazement tastes like the warmth of a summer peach, melting on my tongue.\n\nAmazement sounds like the communal breath, held, as the final note of the Hallelujah Chorus rings through the concert hall.\n\nAmazement feels like being knocked onto the living room floor by small children, all clamoring for the first hug.\n\nAmazement smells like nuzzling one\'s nose in the neck of a newborn.','Amazement ','','inherit','open','open','','4272-autosave','','','2012-01-17 20:20:46','2012-01-18 04:20:46','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4272-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4333,1,'2012-01-17 20:24:08','2012-01-18 04:24:08','','amazed','','inherit','open','open','','amazed','','','2012-01-17 20:24:08','2012-01-18 04:24:08','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/amazed.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4334,1,'2012-01-17 13:29:10','2012-01-17 21:29:10','Amazement looks like a six-year-old girl, twirling \'round, blond ringlets elongated as they spin, arms outstretched, face lifted to the heavens.\r\n\r\nAmazement tastes like the warmth of a summer peach, melting on my tongue.\r\n\r\nAmazement sounds like the communal breath, held, as the final note of the Hallelujah Chorus rings through the concert hall.\r\n\r\nAmazement feels like being knocked onto the living room floor by small children, all clamoring for the first hug.\r\n\r\nAmazement smells like nuzzling one\'s nose in the neck of a newborn.','Amazement ','','inherit','open','open','','4272-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 13:29:10','2012-01-17 21:29:10','',4272,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4272-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(4335,18,'2012-01-17 21:40:35','2012-01-18 05:40:35','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.  I sort of think it\'s human nature.</p>\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:</p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">It\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\nLook familiar?\n\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\n\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\n\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\n\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\n\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-autosave','','','2012-01-17 21:40:35','2012-01-18 05:40:35','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(4336,1,'2012-01-17 14:41:08','2012-01-17 22:41:08','<p style=\"text-align: left\">Even before I became a Christian I had crazy idea embedded inside of me that life was supposed to be pretty clear and easy if you did certain things.  Maybe it was growing up with a single mom who struggled and scraped and believing that <em>\"if I got a college education, it wouldn\'t be like that\"</em> or \"<em>If you don\'t rock the boat, you can keep everyone happy.\"</em> The message of \"Do this that and you can get this or that\" was engrained in me from early on, and this was long before I became a Christ-follower.  I sort of think it\'s human nature.</p>\r\nOnce I made the leap toward Jesus in my early adult years, the message was actually more strongly reinforced, only with a little twist of adding \"God\" to it:   <em>\"If you do these things, believe these things, memorize these things, God will _________.\"</em>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Really, this kind of thinking makes an assumption that life is supposed to look like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4279\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-the-past1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">It\'s ladder-like living where we keep moving forward and don\'t look back.  One rung after another after another, somehow expected to forget what\'s behind us and keep pressing forward to what\'s ahead. With enough faith, forgiveness, prayer, and fortitude, we\'ll keep rising higher and higher and getting better and better.   It\'s formulaic and if you just do the right things, the right things will come together.</p>\r\nYeah, it didn\'t work so well for me<strong>.</strong>  As much as I secretly long for \"linear\" my life was anything but.  In fact, my life has always felt a lot more like this:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4280 aligncenter\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-roller-coaster.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\nLook familiar?\r\n\r\nAbout 16 years ago I heard a very wise woman named Jan Frank speak at a women\'s retreat.  I have no idea what she\'s doing these days, but I will always remember this imagery.  She shared that even though we long for life to be linear, and to be healed quickly from things in the past or negative messages about ourselves, it just doesn\'t work that way.  Rather, <strong>over the course of our lives we will continually hit our \"stuff\" over and over again, but each time at a new place. </strong>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">The model she shared looked like this:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><a href=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\"><img class=\"wp-image-4281\" src=\"http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/linear-spiral.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"258\" height=\"194\" /></a></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\"><strong>The spiral is bringing me hope right now.</strong>  Sometimes longing and hoping and wishing and begging for life to be linear can be so frustrating.   I don\'t want to still be saddled with the same messages I have struggled with for years. The ones that all-roads-lead-to for me are \"I\'m not enough\" and \"I\'m really on my own.\"  As much healing work as God has done with them, as much as I know they are not true, as much as I can put them in their proper place, they still show up in my heart and my head and relationships.  Meanwhile, I keep consciously and unconsciously expecting them to be done, in the past, and happily moving up the next rung of the ladder.</p>\r\nBut I am reminded, yet again, as this new year begins that life is so not linear.  <strong>It never was and it never will be. </strong> I am going to hit my woundedness again, and again, and again over the course of my life, <strong>but each time at a little different place. </strong> Instead of expecting the messes to be gone and being angry at myself and God for not taking care of it as quickly as I\'d like, I am learning to lean into God\'s ongoing transformation in my life.   I will continually bump into these core messages, especially during times of trial and challenge, and each time God will work to heal and restore yet another layer that needs tending to.\r\n\r\nLinear expectations of ourselves, of God, of other people tend to lead to shame, self-hatred, and anger.   I think a lot of our church experiences have subtly and directly taught us that linear living was possible.  In this model, we always fall short and end up feeling bad about ourselves.  It eventually leads to hopelessness.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Thinking that life is just a chaotic, crazy roller coaster ride with no rhyme or reason to it isn\'t very hopeful, either.</p>\r\n<strong>Accepting the spiral-ness of life leads to freedom, hope, and peace.</strong>  It <a href=\"http://kathyescobar.com/2011/05/10/letting-god-off-the-hook/\">lets God off the hook</a> and helps us notice <em>\"Yep, there it is again, rearing its ugly little head, trying to teach me something</em>\" instead of being royally ticked that we\'re still struggling.   This infuses me with hope.\r\n\r\nHope that I\'m not a total screw-up.\r\nHope that there\'s a bigger story unfolding.\r\nHope that God is always at work, transforming, rebuilding, renewing, restoring.\r\nNo matter how many times I hit the same stuff.\r\n\r\n<strong>Hope is remembering that every time I bump up against my weaknesses and painful parts of my story, it is at a new place, there to teach me something really good about what it means to be human in need of God\'s help and hope in a messy, broken world.</strong>\r\n\r\n<em>Yeah, life is not linear.  Never was and never will be.</em>','Linear:  Never Was, Never Will Be ','','inherit','open','open','','4277-revision-11','','','2012-01-17 14:41:08','2012-01-17 22:41:08','',4277,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4277-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(4363,0,'2012-01-17 23:13:00','2012-01-18 07:13:00','Jesus, culture, church, theology, etc.\n<!--more-->\nAUTHOR: Kurt Willems\nAUTHOR EMAIL: thepangeablog@gmail.com\nAUTHOR URL: http://patheos.com/blogs/thepangeablog\nSUBJECT: Provoketive Magazine Writing For Provoketive\nIP: 99.100.210.62\nArray\n(\n    [Name] =&gt; Kurt Willems\n    [Email] =&gt; thepangeablog@gmail.com\n    [Existing Blog or Website] =&gt; http://patheos.com/blogs/thepangeablog\n    [List the topic you are interested writing about] =&gt; Jesus, culture, church, theology, etc.\n    [Current or New WordPress Login Name (We\'ll send you a password.)] =&gt; kurtwillems\n)\n','Kurt Willems - 2012-01-17 23:13:00','','publish','open','open','','94c62db4948cfeb8f018cc53284e19ac','','','2012-01-17 23:13:00','2012-01-18 07:13:00','',358,'http://provoketive.com/?post_type=feedback&p=4363',0,'feedback','',0),(4337,1,'2012-01-17 08:52:01','2012-01-17 16:52:01','January is often a space to create new dreams and so we’re leaving the topic open and to your imagination. We believe the power of voice has tremendous capacity to inspire and give hope to people. A Synchroblog is a collective response to a particular topic.  Everyone writes about the same issue and then links to each other’s post.\r\n\r\nBelow is a list of participant\'s and their posts:\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/the-trouble-with-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">The Trouble With Hope</a>: John Ptacek\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-possibility-x-imagination/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope = Possibility x Imagination</a>: Wayne Rumsby\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/little-reminders/\" target=\"_blank\">Little Reminders</a>: <a href=\"http://stillanightowl.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mike Victorino</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/where-is-my-hope/\">Where Is My Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://jonathanbrink.com\" target=\"_blank\">Jonathan Brink</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-for-hypocrites/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope for Hypocrites</a>: <a href=\"http://www.tillhecomes.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy Myers</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/now-these-three-remain/\" target=\"_blank\">Now These Three Remain</a>: <a href=\"http://www.lookthrough.net/\" target=\"_blank\">Sonny Lemmons</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/perplexed-but-still-hopeful/\" target=\"_blank\">Perplexed, But Still Hopeful</a>: <a href=\"http://wordshalfheard.blogspot.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Carol Kuniholm</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/a-hope-that-lives/\" target=\"_blank\">A Hope that Lives</a>: <a href=\"http://unchainedfaith.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Amy Mitchell</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/generations-come-and-generations-go/\" target=\"_blank\">Generations Come and Generations Go</a>: <a href=\"http://www.missionaljourneyman.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Adam Gonnerman</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/demystifying-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Demystifying Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://glennhager1.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Glenn Hager</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"etive.com/2012/01/18/god-in-the-dark-on-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">God in the Dark: On Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://www.quietanthem.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Renee Ronika Klug</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/keeping-hope-alive/\" target=\"_blank\">Keeping Hope Alive</a>: <a href=\"http://mauricebroaddus.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Maurice Broaddus</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/are-we-afraid-to-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Are We Afraid to Hope?</a>: <a href=\"http://godspace.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Christine Sine</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/on-wobbly-wheels-split-churches-and-fear/\" target=\"_blank\">On Wobbly Wheels, Split Churches and Fear</a>: <a href=\"http://lauradroege.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Laura Droege </a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/adopting-hope/\" target=\"_blank\">Adopting Hope</a>: <a href=\"http://earthtourist.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Travis Klassen</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-is-held-between-us/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope is Held Between Us</a>: <a href=\"http://ellenharoutunian.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Ellen Haroutunian</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://provoketive.com/2012/01/18/hope-in-the-hands-of-the-creatively-maladjusted/\" target=\"_blank\">Hope: In the Hands of the Creatively Maladjusted</a>: <a href=\"http://miheekimkort.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Mihee Kim-Kort</a>','Synchroblog On Hope','','inherit','open','open','','4042-revision-12','','','2012-01-17 08:52:01','2012-01-17 16:52:01','',4042,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4042-revision-12/',0,'revision','',0),(4338,38,'2012-01-17 20:26:55','2012-01-18 04:26:55','<div>\n\nThe thing that gives me hope is the ability to experience and learn from one another.\n\n</div>\nA few years ago I was flying from Miami to Detroit when I met a gentleman of the Baha’i faith. Normally I am that person who will make eye contact with you when you sit down but keep fervently to myself for the entirely of the flight. But somehow this gentleman and I ended up in conversation about faith and I asked him questions for the entire two hours. “So, what happens after you die?” “What about redemption?” “Do you have scriptures?” “How does this impact your everyday life?” It was a truly fascinating conversation as I had never met someone like him before. Nothing thrills me more than to have an open conversation with someone of beliefs very different from mine. We didn’t argue, debate, or try to convert each other. We just talked.\n\nThis last summer my friend Nathan came up to visit from Virgina. We grew up together but he moved to the south partway through high school. We fought a lot through high school but he was a steadfast friend and despite our disagreements kept me from making more than a few stupid mistakes. We sat at a Chipotle in the middle of town on a warm evening talking. Another friend from high school, Josiah, was there. I never really talked much to him while we were in youth group together, but after running into him several times over the summer have discovered just how intelligent and funny he is. Nathan and I talked non-stop for a couple of hours, occasionally checking to make sure we hadn’t bored Josiah to tears. After the several years Nathan had been away, we were able to pick up right where we left off (without the fighting). I would jump into stories and kept forgetting that he hadn’t been here the whole time for the back story.\n\nThis Christmas there was a gift exchange at work. Twenty-six of us sat in one of the conference rooms, ate pizza, and roared as each new gift was opened and gift-stealing commenced. I had a moment where everything got quiet in my head and I just sat back in awe. To my right was a newer coworker who has been amazing to work with who eventually was envious of the sauerkraut and Best Buy gift card I ended up with. To my left was one of the first people I met on the job who has become a good friend, go-to nerd friend, and the one who ended up with fish boxers. He tried to pawn them off for the rest of the game.\n\nAs I looked around the room I saw familiar faces and new faces, but each of them melded into the culture and committed to being a part of our team. Some of my friends at work are Pinball championships, owners of gigantic music libraries, avid Doctor Who fans, gamers, musicians, beer connoisseurs, math aficionados, amazing graphic designers, and all of them are full of stories. All of them are extremely smart and bring completely different things to the table. Despite being so varied and different, they collectively make up a great team that I am proud to be a part of.\n\nI met up with some girlfriends at Mainstreet Billards a little before Christmas. One of them, Heather, I had also went to youth group with. We were semi-friends back in high school but we didn’t really spend time with the same people. I didn’t see her for a couple of years after we graduated and then I ran into her at a coffee shop accidentally and then shortly thereafter was brought into her group of friends. She me invited to her house, parties, and wedding. After hanging out and drinking a cocktail that tasted like crushed vitamin C at Mainstreet, I ran next door and got some coffee from another friend, Kate, who I met a few months after moving to Michigan.\n\nWalking back to my car in the snow, my fresh Kona bean coffee in my hands, all I could do was smile. Christmas and New Year’s always makes me more nostalgic than usual, but the thought I couldn’t shake was what incredible people I have in my life.\n\nThere are times where the tedium of life gets me feeling antsy, like those days I come back from a big grocery store trip only to discover I’ve missed one crucial item. Friends and family members are visited by illness and have brushes with death and I question why people don’t opt-out of this life more often.\n\nBut what brings me back to the surface are the magnificent souls I have the opportunity to interact with.\n\nThis gives me hope because my understanding of humanity is constantly changing. I meet new people with new stories, new hobbies, and new accents. I get the chance to see beyond my own little boring life and swap anecdotes with strangers who might become my next best friend.\n\nPeople help me grow and give my heart fuel to continue on to another day.  I get to hear new perspectives, understand new issues, and share passions with them. I have people I can text at midnight when I’m having a bad night, and people I see on a regular basis who care about me. There are those I don’t see for a long time, who, when I run into them remind me just how much I miss them.\n\nThis is what gives me hope. I get the chance to experience another person in all their humanity and they get to experience me in mine. I have the chance to cry in front of them, laugh hysterically at their stories, share beliefs, geek out over our favorite shows, and listen to them. This is the greatest gift of being a human.\n\nWhy don’t people opt-out more? Because, man, these people are incredible.','Hope (Or: Oh, the Humanity!)','','inherit','open','open','','4331-revision','','','2012-01-17 20:26:55','2012-01-18 04:26:55','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4331-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(4339,38,'2012-01-17 20:35:15','2012-01-18 04:35:15','','wedding-sister-toast','','inherit','open','open','','wedding-sister-toast','','','2012-01-17 20:35:15','2012-01-18 04:35:15','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/wedding-sister-toast.png',0,'attachment','image/png',0),(4340,38,'2012-01-17 20:35:24','2012-01-18 04:35:24','','hannah_me_wedding','','inherit','open','open','','hannah_me_wedding','','','2012-01-17 20:35:24','2012-01-18 04:35:24','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hannah_me_wedding.png',0,'attachment','image/png',0),(4341,38,'2012-01-17 20:28:54','2012-01-18 04:28:54','<div>\n\nThe thing that gives me hope is the ability to experience and learn from one another.\n\n</div>\nA few years ago I was flying from Miami to Detroit when I met a gentleman of the Baha’i faith. Normally I am that person who will make eye contact with you when you sit down but keep fervently to myself for the entirely of the flight. But somehow this gentleman and I ended up in conversation about faith and I asked him questions for the entire two hours. “So, what happens after you die?” “What about redemption?” “Do you have scriptures?” “How does this impact your everyday life?” It was a truly fascinating conversation as I had never met someone like him before. Nothing thrills me more than to have an open conversation with someone of beliefs very different from mine. We didn’t argue, debate, or try to convert each other. We just talked.\n\nThis last summer my friend Nathan came up to visit from Virgina. We grew up together but he moved to the south partway through high school. We fought a lot through high school but he was a steadfast friend and despite our disagreements kept me from making more than a few stupid mistakes. We sat at a Chipotle in the middle of town on a warm evening talking. Another friend from high school, Josiah, was there. I never really talked much to him while we were in youth group together, but after running into him several times over the summer have discovered just how intelligent and funny he is. Nathan and I talked non-stop for a couple of hours, occasionally checking to make sure we hadn’t bored Josiah to tears. After the several years Nathan had been away, we were able to pick up right where we left off (without the fighting). I would jump into stories and kept forgetting that he hadn’t been here the whole time for the back story.\n\nThis Christmas there was a gift exchange at work. Twenty-six of us sat in one of the conference rooms, ate pizza, and roared as each new gift was opened and gift-stealing commenced. I had a moment where everything got quiet in my head and I just sat back in awe. To my right was a newer coworker who has been amazing to work with who eventually was envious of the sauerkraut and Best Buy gift card I ended up with. To my left was one of the first people I met on the job who has become a good friend, go-to nerd friend, and the one who ended up with fish boxers. He tried to pawn them off for the rest of the game.\n\nAs I looked around the room I saw familiar faces and new faces, but each of them melded into the culture and committed to being a part of our team. Some of my friends at work are Pinball championships, owners of gigantic music libraries, avid Doctor Who fans, gamers, musicians, beer connoisseurs, math aficionados, amazing graphic designers, and all of them are full of stories. All of them are extremely smart and bring completely different things to the table. Despite being so varied and different, they collectively make up a great team that I am proud to be a part of.\n\nI met up with some girlfriends at Mainstreet Billards a little before Christmas. One of them, Heather, I had also went to youth group with. We were semi-friends back in high school but we didn’t really spend time with the same people. I didn’t see her for a couple of years after we graduated and then I ran into her at a coffee shop accidentally and then shortly thereafter was brought into her group of friends. She me invited to her house, parties, and wedding. After hanging out and drinking a cocktail that tasted like crushed vitamin C at Mainstreet, I ran next door and got some coffee from another friend, Kate, who I met a few months after moving to Michigan.\n\nWalking back to my car in the snow, my fresh Kona bean coffee in my hands, all I could do was smile. Christmas and New Year’s always makes me more nostalgic than usual, but the thought I couldn’t shake was what incredible people I have in my life.\n\nThere are times where the tedium of life gets me feeling antsy, like those days I come back from a big grocery store trip only to discover I’ve missed one crucial item. Friends and family members are visited by illness and have brushes with death and I question why people don’t opt-out of this life more often.\n\nBut what brings me back to the surface are the magnificent souls I have the opportunity to interact with.\n\nThis gives me hope because my understanding of humanity is constantly changing. I meet new people with new stories, new hobbies, and new accents. I get the chance to see beyond my own little boring life and swap anecdotes with strangers who might become my next best friend.\n\nPeople help me grow and give my heart fuel to continue on to another day.  I get to hear new perspectives, understand new issues, and share passions with them. I have people I can text at midnight when I’m having a bad night, and people I see on a regular basis who care about me. There are those I don’t see for a long time, who, when I run into them remind me just how much I miss them.\n\nThis is what gives me hope. I get the chance to experience another person in all their humanity and they get to experience me in mine. I have the chance to cry in front of them, laugh hysterically at their stories, share beliefs, geek out over our favorite shows, and listen to them. This is the greatest gift of being a human.\n\nWhy don’t people opt-out more? Because, man, these people are incredible.','Hope (Or: Oh, the Humanity!)','','inherit','open','open','','4331-revision-2','','','2012-01-17 20:28:54','2012-01-18 04:28:54','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4331-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(4342,1,'2012-01-17 20:36:00','2012-01-18 04:36:00','','girl window','','inherit','open','open','','girl-window','','','2012-01-17 20:36:00','2012-01-18 04:36:00','',4284,'http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/girl-window.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(4343,38,'2012-01-17 20:35:44','2012-01-18 04:35:44','<div>\r\n\r\nThe thing that gives me hope is the ability to experience and learn from one another.\r\n\r\n</div>\r\nA few years ago I was flying from Miami to Detroit when I met a gentleman of the Baha’i faith. Normally I am that person who will make eye contact with you when you sit down but keep fervently to myself for the entirely of the flight. But somehow this gentleman and I ended up in conversation about faith and I asked him questions for the entire two hours. “So, what happens after you die?” “What about redemption?” “Do you have scriptures?” “How does this impact your everyday life?” It was a truly fascinating conversation as I had never met someone like him before. Nothing thrills me more than to have an open conversation with someone of beliefs very different from mine. We didn’t argue, debate, or try to convert each other. We just talked.\r\n\r\nThis last summer my friend Nathan came up to visit from Virgina. We grew up together but he moved to the south partway through high school. We fought a lot through high school but he was a steadfast friend and despite our disagreements kept me from making more than a few stupid mistakes. We sat at a Chipotle in the middle of town on a warm evening talking. Another friend from high school, Josiah, was there. I never really talked much to him while we were in youth group together, but after running into him several times over the summer have discovered just how intelligent and funny he is. Nathan and I talked non-stop for a couple of hours, occasionally checking to make sure we hadn’t bored Josiah to tears. After the several years Nathan had been away, we were able to pick up right where we left off (without the fighting). I would jump into stories and kept forgetting that he hadn’t been here the whole time for the back story.\r\n\r\nThis Christmas there was a gift exchange at work. Twenty-six of us sat in one of the conference rooms, ate pizza, and roared as each new gift was opened and gift-stealing commenced. I had a moment where everything got quiet in my head and I just sat back in awe. To my right was a newer coworker who has been amazing to work with who eventually was envious of the sauerkraut and Best Buy gift card I ended up with. To my left was one of the first people I met on the job who has become a good friend, go-to nerd friend, and the one who ended up with fish boxers. He tried to pawn them off for the rest of the game.\r\n\r\nAs I looked around the room I saw familiar faces and new faces, but each of them melded into the culture and committed to being a part of our team. Some of my friends at work are Pinball championships, owners of gigantic music libraries, avid Doctor Who fans, gamers, musicians, beer connoisseurs, math aficionados, amazing graphic designers, and all of them are full of stories. All of them are extremely smart and bring completely different things to the table. Despite being so varied and different, they collectively make up a great team that I am proud to be a part of.\r\n\r\nI met up with some girlfriends at Mainstreet Billards a little before Christmas. One of them, Heather, I had also went to youth group with. We were semi-friends back in high school but we didn’t really spend time with the same people. I didn’t see her for a couple of years after we graduated and then I ran into her at a coffee shop accidentally and then shortly thereafter was brought into her group of friends. She me invited to her house, parties, and wedding. After hanging out and drinking a cocktail that tasted like crushed vitamin C at Mainstreet, I ran next door and got some coffee from another friend, Kate, who I met a few months after moving to Michigan.\r\n\r\nWalking back to my car in the snow, my fresh Kona bean coffee in my hands, all I could do was smile. Christmas and New Year’s always makes me more nostalgic than usual, but the thought I couldn’t shake was what incredible people I have in my life.\r\n\r\nThere are times where the tedium of life gets me feeling antsy, like those days I come back from a big grocery store trip only to discover I’ve missed one crucial item. Friends and family members are visited by illness and have brushes with death and I question why people don’t opt-out of this life more often.\r\n\r\nBut what brings me back to the surface are the magnificent souls I have the opportunity to interact with.\r\n\r\nThis gives me hope because my understanding of humanity is constantly changing. I meet new people with new stories, new hobbies, and new accents. I get the chance to see beyond my own little boring life and swap anecdotes with strangers who might become my next best friend.\r\n\r\nPeople help me grow and give my heart fuel to continue on to another day.  I get to hear new perspectives, understand new issues, and share passions with them. I have people I can text at midnight when I’m having a bad night, and people I see on a regular basis who care about me. There are those I don’t see for a long time, who, when I run into them remind me just how much I miss them.\r\n\r\nThis is what gives me hope. I get the chance to experience another person in all their humanity and they get to experience me in mine. I have the chance to cry in front of them, laugh hysterically at their stories, share beliefs, geek out over our favorite shows, and listen to them. This is the greatest gift of being a human.\r\n\r\nWhy don’t people opt-out more? Because, man, these people are incredible.','Hope (Or: Oh, the Humanity!)','','inherit','open','open','','4331-revision-3','','','2012-01-17 20:35:44','2012-01-18 04:35:44','',4331,'http://provoketive.com/2012/01/17/4331-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),