In this third of a three part interview, I got to ask Jim about his desire to fade into the woodwork and what it mean to self-publish his book <em><a href="With%20the%20upcoming%20release%20of%20Jim%27s%20newest%20book,%20Being%20Jesus%20In%20Nashville" target="_blank">Being Jesus In Nashville</a></em>.

[question]You’ve stated that you’ve “flirted with fading into the woodwork, never to be heard from again.”  What do you mean by that? [/question]

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<a href="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Being_Jesus_Kindle.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2824" title="Being_Jesus_Kindle" src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Being_Jesus_Kindle.jpg" alt="" width="100" height="150" /></a>I’m not fond of controversy or conflict and I’ve had a whole lot of both around this book. There are some days when it wears on me and I ponder resurrecting my original dream, which was to be a starting guard for the Chicago Bulls. It wouldn’t work now anyway, I had my chance when MJ retired and didn’t take it.

I get discouraged. Some days it feels like I’m just banging my head against a wall. I’m not selling crack or peddling porn; I’m standing for the inherent, equal and divine worth of every human being, and wanting to enroll people in the idea of building a world that works for everyone. But for this, people want me crucified. What keeps me going are those divine nobodies who contact me to share their story and the ways I’ve contributed to their journey.

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[question]You've recently started the Occupy Religion effort.  What is that?[/question]

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I didn’t expect the Occupy Religion effort to evolve from my new book. Government and religion share the similar dynamic of 1% having inordinate influence over how things work for everyone else. In religion’s case, the 1% are religious clerics and the 99% are the rest of us, many of whom practice a particular faith but still have very little say on how that faith is expressed in the world.

The Occupy Religion effort is about confronting religion in those places where it divides and separates people from God and each other. <em>Being Jesus in Nashville</em> is taking a stand with my tribe who has shared this journey with me the last several years. They are ordinary people who have been shedding religion and no longer support the view of Jesus promoted by the institutional church—one that leads to condemning people of other faiths, forces Christians to adopt beliefs and practices they often cannot live up to or support in good conscience, and requires people to promote a message that divides human beings in the name of Jesus… in the name of God.

In a nutshell, I keep going because I know I’m not alone. I’m not just speaking for myself but representing a lot of people who want their voice to be heard.

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[question]You chose to self-publish <em>Being Jesus</em>. What does this new book mean to you and why did you decide to publish it on your own?[/question]

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I’m self-publishing this book because I realized I had to disentangle myself from the Christian publishing machine in order for my voice and message to be heard. Membership in an institutional church is not a prerequisite for being a fully expressed and devoted follower of Christ. A book contract with a major Christian publisher is not necessary to share my story and message with my tribe and beyond.

Self-publishing hasn’t been a cake walk. I discovered that I didn’t know <strong>jack about self-publishing. </strong>How hard can this be??? (I said to myself). Well, IT IS! It’s been a steep learning curve and I’m still climbing it. <strong>I’m scared as hell of failing.</strong> What if my decision to self-publish bombs?! I HATE “marketing” myself or my books and the publisher mostly did this stuff before. So, it’s uncomfortable. Plus, I worry about letting people down. I don’t like disappointing people. <strong>I’m making mistakes.</strong> I thought the self-publishing route meant that I could get everything I wanted instantaneously when I wanted it just the way I wanted it. I think they call that delusional! <strong>The freedom isn’t so easy.</strong> With no filter or censorship, I am free to fully express myself. Just what I wanted! Right? It’s not so easy. It’s challenging that part of me that wants people to like me, losses sleep over a negative Amazon review, worries about offending people, and fears rejection.

People can contribute to self-publishing effort of <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/Being-Jesus?a=294635&amp;i=addr" target="_blank"><em>Being Jesus in Nashville</em></a> through the IndieGoGo Campaign.

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[question]How are you holding up now?[/question]

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Some days it feels like I’m spitting in the wind. Sometimes I wonder if I’m making any difference at all. I get discouraged at times, questioning what, if any, impact I am having. I often feel I’m beating my head against a wall, speaking out about the way religion puts a barrier between people and God and each other. It’s an up-hill battle trying to convince people that following Jesus could mean standing for the inherent, equal and divine worth of every human being. So, just being straight here, some days I ponder if I should go back to being a carpet salesman, maybe coach the girls basketball team at Jessica’s school.

Anyway… sometimes it feels this way and then I received this email a few minutes ago:

<em>Hi Jim.</em>

<em>I just wanted to say that I’m grateful for the “What do you need to give yourself permission to do or be?” question you raised on the Divine Nobody Call. It was such a heartfelt, deeply honest question, and I think that is one of the things I appreciate about you, that you don’t give up on asking the questions, even when it’s scary, and messy, and confusing and you keep trying to be open about what you’re feeling and where you’re at in your journey even when it’s uncomfortable. </em>

<em>A few things occurred to me as I started to write this, one is that we can find God in the questions and when you feel them being formed in you, it’s God stirring you into being who you are. Two, your question about permission makes me a little sad because, I think some people are so lost in the self they’ve created to relate and survive the world, that they don’t even know they aren’t giving themselves permission. These are the kinds of questions that people need space to hear and express and I’m thankful that you help to create that space. </em>

<em>For me, I’m starting to feel lately like it’s less about shedding religion, and more about shedding a fake me who in turn relates in a fake way and can’t take up space, felt like she had to live by a different set of rules than the rest of my family, and who had to be the calming force trying to smooth the waters and bandage the wounds. I’m starting to feel like religion is just yet another symptom of the problem of not being fully yourself and thinking that by being fake you could create something better than God has already made. Religion, is one of the many ways that we as humans choose to keep ourselves small, and cowering in a dark corner of ourselves and the world, and to keep ourselves what we think is “safe and comfortable”, but there is no true safety or comfort being so tangled up in lies and the pain you won’t express, there is only safety and comfort in knowing and being the person that everytime God looks at you, the REAL you He says” Ah yes, you’re just who I made, I love you like crazy, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”</em>

<em>Thanks for being a part of this stage in my journey, and also for not giving up even on the days when you can’t seem to give yourself any permission at all.</em>

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If you'd like to support Jim, consider contributing to his <em></em><em><a href="With%20the%20upcoming%20release%20of%20Jim%27s%20newest%20book,%20Being%20Jesus%20In%20Nashville" target="_blank">Being Jesus In Nashville</a></em> self-publishing campaign.