Kaitlin, I think there are a lot more mothers of very young children who feel like you do than so say, for the very reason you name.  The criticisms that always got to me the most were from fellow mothers of infants, who I thought would be sympathetic.  After a few of those barbs, I kept my mouth shut, which also kept me from knowing other mothers who felt like I did and could offer understanding and support.

I think the most priceless baby shower present of all is the promise of an entire day away from the baby.  Something else I've thought of that would make a good Christian ministry is a Mother's Relief Hotline you could call to get an understanding listener and practical advice, and maybe more importantly, immediate rescue (if possible) by an adult who would care for the baby a few hours and let mom get some sleep or get away from the house.  It might prevent some tragedies, and definitely would help the immediate stress on the mother's part.