Victim.

Think about that word for a minute. What does it bring to mind? Do you picture someone being threatened? Someone who has been attacked or brutalized or otherwise harmed? Does it bring about feelings of empathy or compassion, a longing to help them? Or do you picture someone who blames everyone else for their hardships?  Do you see them as a weak, whiny pathetic example of a human being?

If you think the latter, you may have been a victim yourself- an unknowing victim of a spin doctor. It happens every day in politics, in business, and, unfortunately, in the Church. Anyone with power can come to fear losing it, and the voice of injustice or dissent is a threat that must be silenced. The easiest way to do that with those who have been hurt or wounded is to blame them. If we can shift the blame to the one who has been hurt, even just a little bit, then the eyes come off the abuser. This happens in the Church every day. If a pastor or someone in Church leadership hurts someone and they cry out, they receive hallow "I'm sorry you took offense" apologies, which are really an accusation not an apology. Never mind (quote about not giving offense unnecessarily).  If someone has been truly harmed by a minister or pastor, they are told to be silent, because to speak out is to dare to "touch the Lord's anointed".

Sadly, this silencing tactic is used in by many churches and ministries. One such church, Beaverton Grace Bible Church in ___, Oregon even went so far as to sue former disgruntled members for defamation, in order to silence them. The focus of the suit, as well as the publicity surrounding it, centered particularly on Julie Anne Smith, who blogs about her experience  at ------. Julie Anne created the blog after her negative reviews of BGBC were deleted from the Google. After re-writing the ad multiple times, only to have it deleted again, she created her own blog to write about the abusive practices at the Church. It was at least in part because of the negative reviews and Julie Anne's personal blog, that the church brought about the defamation suit. However, while Church's may try to silence members in their congregations, apparently they can't continue to do so when they leave. The Court dismissed the case, and ordered BGBC to pay the defendants' court fees.

During my time at a rather authoritarian Ministry, which I wrote about in "The C Word", I regularly experience the head of the ministry mocking those who had been wounded for their "victim mentality". If you had been legitimately hurt, you were told to "get over it". Those who left the ministry and told anyone about their bad experience were labeled as being in sin or having an offended spirit. It didn't matter if what they said was true, you just weren't supposed to talk about it. There was this idea that ministers were untouchable, accountable only to God.

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Apparently the head of the aforementioned ministry was pretty angry when he stumbled across my article about his ministry and some of my experiences there. But you know what, my point in writing that article was not to damage him or the ministry. I never named the ministry, and it is not listed in my author biographer, nor is it on the public profiles of  any of my other social media sites. I even took great pains to try to remove any associations that could come up by web searches. My point was not to harm them, but to tell my story, and for good or ill, and despite my greatest attempts at erasing it from my web presence, my experience there will always be a part of my story.

In the words of one of my favorite Christian writers, Anne Lamott, " quote about telling your story ". People, you have a right to tell your story. Telling your story can bring healing, as well as possibly save others from similar pain. And hopefully, it can convict others of the pain they are causing or at least make it less likely they can victimize again. But also? It is YOUR story.

What bothers me the most is that victim silencing and blaming has become such a normal occurence in the world and, more distressingly, in the Church. Is this really Christ's response to the wounded and victimized? To silence their voices and pat the backs of the church leadership? Hardly! Christ was compassionate to the "sinners" and to the oppressed. Christ didn't tell the wounded to  "get over it". He healed them. Christ didn't tell the oppressed and victimized to be quiet. Instead, he confronted the Pharisees, the religious leaders who held the power.  In fact, was it not the Pharisees that Jesus was the hardest on?

This is not to say that there are times when both parties are to blame for things. And this is not to say that even those who have been greatly harmed may also hold some responsibility in their pain. But at this point in time, the pendulum has swung too far; we are much quicker to side with the abuser than the victim.I mean,  it's easier to blame the victim, isn't it? There's no mess to clean up, no work for us to do, if they just need to get over it. But, to comfort those who have been harmed and to seek justice? That is where the real work of love is. Is that not what God asks of us..... seek justice, mercy... walk humbly VERSE!

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