I pulled up to the Gurdwara in Rochester Hills, a small white and brick building. “Gurdwara” is the term for a place of worship for those of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sikhism" target="_blank">Sikh faith</a>. “God is One” was printed prominently on their sign near the road. Two boys playing in the parking lot pointed me to the right door and I entered the gurdwara. I was greeted by Mandheer Singh, a tall gentleman with electric brown eyes and a warm smile. Mandheer Singh is a real estate agent, is married and has two children. (Singh is the last name adopted by Sikh men to signify brotherhood and it means “lion”. Women use “Kaur” which means “Princess”).

[caption id="attachment_5852" align="alignright" width="300" caption="A Gurdwara"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/47450200@N02/4350484055/in/photostream/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-5852 " src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/gurdwara_flickr_sohoandproud-300x184.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="184" /></a>[/caption]

“Now, the first thing we do is we take off our shoes and cover our hair.” I removed my shoes and he handed me a cream-colored scarf to wear, which I place over the top of my hair and wrapped the excess around each shoulder. Mandheer Singh was wearing a black turban. “The reason we take off our shoes is because we believe God is everywhere and so this is a holy place. And the reason we cover our hair is to show modesty and respect.”

Mandheer Singh first gave me a tour of the gurdwara. Down one hallway was a kitchen. “This kitchen is used to make food that we serve every week for free. Everyone is welcome to eat with us. And this is consistent all across the world, so if you are traveling in a city and need food, or if you are homeless and need a meal, go to a gurdwara and they will take care of you. This is one way we give back to the community, and is one of our core beliefs.”

[caption id="attachment_5858" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Sikh women and children"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/graphia/5662116967/in/photostream/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-5858" src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/sikh-children_flickr_graphia-300x199.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a>[/caption]

He then showed me to the room at the end of the hall. There were several women and children sitting on the floor. “This is where the meal will be served after the service. Everyone sits on the floor during the meal to symbolize equality.” In Sikhism, women are not considered any less than men, but are regarded as complete equals in the congregation.

He then showed me to the main room down the other hallway where a service was in process, where everyone was sitting on the floor in two main sections with an aisle down the middle.  In the front of the room there was a Sikh man, a Granthi, sitting and reading from scripture.

[caption id="attachment_5860" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Inside a gurdwara"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hari_singh/6523149179/in/photostream/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-5860" src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/gurdwara_flickr_hari-singh-300x240.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="240" /></a>[/caption]

“They just finished about an hour and a half of singing hymns which are directly taken from our scriptures, and now will go for about another half hour of reading and reciting from the Guru Granth Sahib,” (which is their sacred scriptures). There is a screen with the English translation for those who aren’t familiar with Gurmukhi (the Punjabi language alphabet).

Mandheer Singh wasn’t always a practicing Sikh, he told me. Mandheer Singh’s parents moved from India to the US. He was born in Sacramento, and grew up in a small town in Ohio where his father worked for the Air Force as a civilian. “I grew up in Ohio, so I grew up like any other American. I watched Hulk Hogan, listened to Led Zeppelin, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, all of that.”

So how did he come to the Sikh faith? His family came into contact with a few Sikhs who were very dedicated and knowledgable about the religion, and then they went on to introduce his family to more Sikhs in the US and Canada. When he looked around he saw them were being doctors, artists, athletes, professors—fully participating citizens. “I mean, I looked at myself,” said Mandheer Singh. “I have brown skin and dark hair. I was never really going to blend in completely. So it was alright for me to blend in just a little bit less to join this faith. There was something that compelled me to it, and as I learned more about it I felt it was who I really was on the inside.”

[caption id="attachment_5871" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The Golden Temple (Amritsar) in the Sikhism capital, Punjab in India"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/azwegers/6289556477/in/photostream/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-5871  " src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/golden-temple_flickr_arian-zwegers-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a>[/caption]

Mandheer Singh and his brother embraced the faith before their parents in to the faith. “He and I stopped cutting our hair and starting wearing our turbans. In fact, I remember chiding my father by saying things like ‘Why do you keep cutting your hair? Don’t you want to be respectful to the faith?’” Mandheer Singh’s father starting making notes when he would talk to people or learn about the Sikh faith. Those notes turned into a folder, which turned into a binder of its own, and now his father is one of the most highly regarded speakers and scholars of Sikhism.

The strengthening of his faith changed his desires as a person. “I stopped listening to all the bands that I used to. Like, if you were to play Run DMC right now, I’ll still know all the words, but it doesn’t feel the same to me anymore. I started listening to our hymns all the time and I just wanted to listen to them even more than everything else.”

Mandheer Singh went on to explain the things that Sikh men have on them at all times, known as the Five Ks.
<ul>
	<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kesh_(Sikhism)" target="_blank">Kesh</a> – Uncut hair</li>
	<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanga_(Sikhism)" target="_blank">Kanga</a> – A small, wooden comb (“The comb is basically supposed to show us that we are not to cut our hair, but that we are also supposed to take care of it and ourselves out of respect”)</li>
	<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kara_(Sikhism)" target="_blank">Kara</a> – A metal bracelet (which Mandheer Singh said is very much like a wedding ring)</li>
	<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kachera" target="_blank">Kachera</a> – A specific type of cotton briefs (which represent chastity and preparedness)</li>
	<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirpan" target="_blank">Kirpan</a> – A small dagger (you may only fight in <em>defense</em>, never offense)</li>
</ul>
[caption id="attachment_5864" align="alignright" width="300" caption="A Sikh couple"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/petercastleton/5018035205/in/photostream/"><img class="size-medium wp-image-5864" src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/sikh-couple_flickr_petercastleton-300x221.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="221" /></a>[/caption]

The Five Ks give Sikhs a unique outward identity. “I could go into a bar or a club,” (Sikhs are not allowed to drink alcohol) “but I know that I am a walking image of the Gurus and their teachings,” he said. “I could take off my turban and bracelet, but it’s the same thing as if you were to go into a club and take off your wedding rings.”

I asked about cross-discrimination and racism since September 11<sup>th</sup>, which he said did affect the Sikh community. There were some profane things written on a nearby gurdwara just a few weeks ago.

“It thought it was unfair that an image I had associated all my life as holy was hijacked; literally hijacked.”

Mandheer Singh remembers the looks he got when he went to the gym after 9/11. He has a Sikh friend in NYC who was attacked on a subway because someone thought he was a Muslim. (“It wouldn’t be right even he had been a Muslim,” Mandheer Singh added.) The judge wanted to send the attacker to jail, but Mandheer Singh’s friend insisted instead that he serve community service at their gurdwara. After getting to know the people and who they were, the man who attacked him apologized and said, “I am so sorry, I didn’t know who you were. Had I known ... I am <em>so</em> sorry.”

“I have a confession,” Mandheer Singh said to me.

“I remember going to a Chinese restaurant with a bunch of people and on our way in there were two very white people coming our direction. You know, blonde hair, blue eyes. They were just staring at us. I could feel myself tensing up and I just knew what they were thinking. As we got closer, they said, ‘Hello!’ And I thought, ‘I just did it to them!’ My prejudgment of them was no better than what others had done to me. And that was when I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore. I can’t assume those kinds of things of people. Walking around with a chip on my shoulder just makes things worse.”

[caption id="attachment_5856" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Khanda, a Sikh symbol"]<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sikhiwiki/2300262427/in/photostream/"><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-5856 " src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/khanda_flickr_sikhiwiki-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>[/caption]

When I asked him what he loved about being a Sikh, he said sheepishly, “As cliché as it is … everything. I love everything about it. It gives me such a sense of purpose and meaning in my life.”

Everyone I interacted with at the gurdwara made sure I felt comfortable and explained whatever I wanted to know. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into before going in, as I had only studied Sikhism through a World Religion class, but the kindness of the Sikh community I visited was overwhelming. My conversation with Mandheer Singh lasted a long time and he was open to any question I had to ask.

What’s interesting is that the kindness they displayed has been consistent across the few other Sikhs I’ve met. (For instance, my doctor is a Sikh and his is great at putting me at ease, helping me not freak out, and is very good at his job.) I was moved by their hospitality and by their emphasis on equality and community service, and I am proud to count them as my friends.

<strong>Thanks to Manheer Singh, Mandeep Singh, Kulwinder Singh, and the Sikh Gurdwara of Rochester Hills for allowing me the chance to get to know them and see into their community.</strong>

<em>Photo credit: </em><em>Flickr / <em><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/graphia/5648545143/in/photostream/" target="_blank">graphia</a> (Sikh young man), </em><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/47450200@N02/4350484055/in/photostream/" target="_blank">sohoandproud</a> (gurdwara), </em><em><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sikhiwiki/2300262427/in/photostream/" target="_blank">sikhiwiki</a> (khanda, a Sikh symbol), <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/graphia/5662116967/in/photostream/" target="_blank">graphia</a> (Sikh children), <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hari_singh/6523149179/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Hari Singh</a> (inside a gurdwara), <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/azwegers/6289556477/in/photostream/" target="_blank">Arian Zwegers</a> (Amritsar, the Golden Temple in Punjab)</em>