I appreciate what you said, Ray.  I've come to accept that this is the way it is for me, but it's rough.  

My favorite Christmas cookies as a child were the roll-out kind that you cut with cookie cutters, frost, then decorate with sprinkles.  They are my kids favorite's, too.  All the way up through high school they would bring their friends over to decorate the cookies, and the kitchen would end up trashed in six colors of icing, red and green sugar, mini-chocolate chips, and rainbow sprinkles.  It was great fun to watch them.

Monday I baked cookies for six hours and froze them for now.  Will decorate them Christmas week. Cried most of the time for both good and bad memories.  Two of my children are in very painful life circumstances, and I cried for them.  And I cried because  I'm depressed this time of year.  But I made the cookies anyway, knowing this tradition really means something to my family.  It's the only sweet I'll make, because it's the one they care about, and I care about them.  And like I wrote, God gives me what I need.