I don't want to make a habit of joining in on overly discussed topics from the blogosphere, but I'm going to take exactly that risk with this post. In the last few days I have seen countless Tweets, Facebook posts, and blogs all drawing attention the controversy surrounding a recent interview of Mark Driscoll by Justin Grieley of the podcast, "<a href="http://www.premier.org.uk/unbelievable" target="_blank">Unbelievable</a>." The first part of the interview features both Mark and his wife Grace in connection with their Book Real Marriage, the rest focuses on Mark's ministry as pastor of Mars Hill Church Seattle, his approach and theology. Having been witness to so much of the discussion, even in my own family, I decided to skip past the chatter and listen to the unedited interview in its entirety—and I'm glad I did, because it revealed a lot I believe is being overlooked. In fact, I think the discussion is extremely illuminating, not so much for the words that were said, but for the dynamic between Mark and Justin, and for the polarization that's occurred in the days following the interview.

My first observation is that the interview itself is far less controversial than the blogs that have followed. The differences of theology between Mark and Justin, while real, are not nearly as dramatic as they're portrayed – even Mark makes it clear they're secondary issues of theology. Based on the reactions I've read, I expected to hear a heated debate becoming deeply personal where one or both parties would leave deeply offended. I heard nothing of the kind. Instead, I heard two articulate people with much in common, passionately discussing highly relevant issues, some of which they don't completely agree on.

My second observation, is far more sobering. The very fact this discussion has created such a stir underscores the point I made previously in <a href="http://blog.realfaitharts.com/2011/11/love-respect-unity-and-other-pipe.html" target="_blank">Love, respect, unity... and other pipe-dreams</a> — that people from differing theological corners have an insanely difficult time communicating effectively. This is a real problem and we need to all commit to doing our part to overcome it. The bar is even higher for pastors and leaders, who REALLY need to encourage those who follow them to stop taking-up their battles, emphasizing differences rather than their similarities, and further polarizing their positions.

Finally, social media is not helping with this, by the way. I'm actually a big fan for the most part, but the fact that opinions are being passed around the Internet constrained to servings of 160 characters or less is causing people to make statements that are stronger, less qualified, and often careless. Then when reposted by people who haven't actually done the work of reviewing the original material, it devolves to a grand game of telephone. In this case, it means that the two people involved are further polarized and vilified by their respective supporters or detractors. The medium absolutely does not help us have productive discussion in this case.

I challenge you, before jumping to conclusions about this conversation or others like it, go back to the source and honestly consider it. We do far to much judging of people and their ideas by passing judgement on what people say about them rather than considering them on their own merit. It's more work, but it's worth it.