Help Wanted: Modern Day Prophet to guide people through volatile, uncertain times.   No previous experience required.  Must be willing to take instruction and be detail-oriented.  Commanding voice and facial hair a plus.    Depending on job performance, commission based compensation can vary from love offerings to a king’s ransom.

Sounds like a pretty good gig, doesn’t it?  The problem is, even if you get the job, you have to wait around for God to feed you your lines, and there’s no telling if or when that will happen.  There’s actually a much simpler way to become a modern day prophet.