I went to the beach today with my wife and daughters. I’m happy to report that Jessica Rey’s viral marketing video for her line of one-piece swimsuits hasn’t changed the way most women dress for the beach.

In the several hours we were on the beach next to the Santa Monica pier, we saw men and women of all shapes &amp; sizes, in speedos and swim trunks, one-piece swim suits and of course, bikinis.

I’d say the most memorable beach attire we saw was a plus-sized woman wearing a leopard-print one piece, with a green, extra large tee-shirt underneath the swimsuit, the ensemble completed by a black pair of shorts or maybe it was a ‘skort,’ I’m not sure... Wow. Now that definitely distracted me. It even caused me to stumble as I let my gaze linger too long and I wasn’t watching where I was walking.

Needless to say, she was wearing what she wanted to wear, as we all were.

The majority of the people we saw today would likely be considered average or normal, which means they are at least slightly overweight and probably comfortable eating Cheezies on the beach. Only a small minority of the men could be considered fit or ‘built’, and an even smaller sampling of the women would be described as extraordinarily beautiful.

Even the most stunning of the women we saw, whose ruched, red bikini bottoms kept slipping ‘dangerously’ downwards as she played in the water, didn’t cause me to want to handle her or mumble sentences like “I want...” or “I take...” or whatever that video claims my reaction would be.

Laying on a towel in the sand next to my beautiful wife, her own ‘double d’s’ covered by a black and gold bikini, that, like most bikini’s left little to the imagination... if I was to decide to use my imagination to picture what was hidden by those triangles of fabric.

In her case, of course, I know the answer to what lies beneath the fabric. And I like it.

In the case of of the girl whose bottoms kept slipping down, I now know, without imagining, what the upper part of her bum looks like. Oh no. Scandal.

If I were to use the memory of her image in lust, that is to want her, to desire her...if I were to do that it would not be her fault, but mine. It would be my choice to use her for my own gratification and pleasure. It is my responsibility to respect her not my right to use her.

Appreciating beauty is another thing altogether. There were several women I noticed as beautiful that caught my eye. Observing these pretty, God-created beings brought a smile to my face as I imagined my own daughters grown up, laughing and strutting down a beach such as this, blissfully enjoying the beauty they’ve been blessed with.

As Christians, in the evangelical tradition, we’ve handcuffed our men by telling them beauty is bad and that the temptation of the two-piece is too great to overcome.

By teaching men to avoid and avert, we’ve created a culture where curiosity is ‘carnal’ and thus it must be sinful. This culture objectifies women more than ‘the world’ ever could. It’s almost afraid of women, it’s definitely fearful of the female form.

Open your eyes! Look, but don’t leer. Respect women. God made us, men and women, in his image. Appreciate the artistry of us all.

Choose to love and not lust. Appreciate beauty. It’s everywhere. It’s where you’ve been told not to look. Trust each other and treat each other with dignity and respect. Men, you are not animals. You were created to enjoy the beauty of woman. She is a powerful force. She is your equal, but carved in a more curvaceous way.

Men and women were made to notice each other, don’t be afraid when you notice someone that causes you to take a second glance.

Modesty has been misunderstood..it has been misused as a means to control, probably to ‘prevent’ lust. Instead of strengthening men, instead of promoting respectful, mature relationships between men &amp; women - we’ve developed a culture of taboos.

We’ve gone from “look, but don’t touch” to “look once, never twice” to “don’t look” to “don’t look good.” That last one is directed at the ‘christian’ woman unfortunately, because we blame women for all the troubles men have with lust.

Objectification is not initiated by women being beautiful or even sexy. Women are made into objects in the minds of men who choose to take these living, breathing humans, beautiful in the eyes of their Creator, and turn them into objects to be used in the self-gratification of lust.

Modesty is important. The misunderstanding is that we really not talking about modesty. This one is a matter of the heart. We’re talking modesty, but we should be talking about self-control and respect.