This is the fourth post in a series called: Why Are Christians Waiting for Marriage for Sex?

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold;">Relationships don’t always make us happy. I know. Breaking news. Big gasps. Etc. Etc.</span>

Sex and all the things leading up to sex make us feel good. We wouldn't be having this discussion if they didn't. But happiness isn't everything in relationship. Good relationships are good in part because of a commitment demonstrated even when things are difficult.
<h4><img class="alignleft" src="http://www.allyspotts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Screen-shot-2011-10-13-at-2.41.42-AM-300x195.png" alt="" width="300" height="195" />Relationships are more about holiness than they are about happiness.</h4>
Is your relationship making you more holy? CS Lewis explains <em>holiness</em> like this:

Your life is a continuum where <em>wholeness</em> is on one end and <em>destruction</em> is on the other. Each decision you make is moving you one direction. What direction are you moving because of this relationship?
<h5>Are you becoming more broken or more whole? Holiness just means you’re becoming more whole.</h5>
Is the relationship you're in moving you toward the good? Is it helping you become the person who God made you to be? Or is it hindering you from that growth?

If the purpose of my relationships is happiness then anytime I feel unhappy or uncomfortable the temptation will be to end my relationship. If the purpose of my relationship is holiness then I'll see every discomfort as an opportunity to work toward becoming more <em>whole</em>.

If I value a relationship only for the happiness it brings me then I miss the joy that comes over the long haul in relationship.

It takes strength to stick it out when you don’t feel happy. That strength is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Self-denial and self-sacrifice won't define every season of your relationship, but they do build a sturdy marriage.
<h5>Do you want to work out now? Or later? Is there a difference?</h5>
If you’re asking the question “How far can we go?” you’re wasting energy that could be spent taking big steps toward wholeness, restoration and peace. The less energy you waste trying to draw an imaginary line the more energy you’ll have to take bigger steps.

Trust me. I’ve tried to walk this line. I’ve stay in relationships too long where both of us were using each other to manage our own loneliness.
<h5>It will either be hard now or hard later. Don't defer the difficulty. You are not stuck.</h5>
You have the power to change your circumstance. You have the strength to take the next step toward holiness - even if it means ending your relationship.

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<strong>Which direction will you step next?</strong>