Deanna, I totally get where you are coming from and agree with a lot of what you are saying. I just thought I would add a thought or two of my own. 

First off, I understand the whole "where is the line" issue. That is something I always struggled with myself. But let's pretend that a line has somehow magically been clearly defined. For the sake of my argument. 

I don't think the issue is so much the staying 'pure' for marriage and then suddenly being expected to have sex. I think the MAJOR issue with Christians today is the fact that sex is NOT talked about or explored in a healthy way. It is just ignored like it doesn't exist. It's a dirty, evil thing that you should stay away from. I think one of the huge things that would help with the issue of the magical jump from "evil, sex is bad" to "mind-blowing orgasmic marriage sex euphoria" is just talking about it. There needs to be discussion about how to develop a healthy sexual relationship. About how to communicate your desires and needs to the other person. 

And frankly, how to go about pleasing the other person. I'm sorry, but women have complicated bodies and men don't always get that it takes a little bit more for women to get pleasure out of the experience. I think education in that area needs to happen in order for a healthy sexual relationship to take place. (Or at least education on how to educate yourself about it. Almost all that I know about sex from internet articles and such because I wasn't getting it anywhere else.) 

Right now, Christian teens are not getting that education needed for developing healthy sexuality. So what are they doing? They are turning to other places searching for answers (hence porn addictions). They either get the Christian "sex is evil" or the secular "sleep with EVERYONE". Neither of which are healthy.

I think both women and men need to be comfortable with their bodies. None of this "your body is evil and just a temptation for the menfolk" stuff. We need to realize that the human body is a wonderful, beautiful thing that we shouldn't be scared of. We need to be educated on how our bodies work and how the body of the opposite sex works. (I didn't even know what half my body parts did until I went and read article after article about female pleasure. How can I properly communicate a partner about what I want if I don't have a single clue about what I might want myself?)

In essence, I don't think the big issue is saving yourself for marriage. I think the issue is the complete lack of healthy dialogue on the subject. 

(The issue of what exactly does "saving yourself" mean is a whole 'nother issue.)