Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

I've lost both parents to separate accidents as well as my college roommate. I hear you when you say there's no such thing as an "accident." Grief is an awful thing to bear and the situation you were plunged into was difficult. 

Your point about people attempting to comfort was right on. When I was a pastor, people used to ask, "I don't know what to say to people when they suffer loss." I would tell them, "Don't say anything. Just listen." Unfortunately, we often fill the grieving with the standard statements you mentioned. I think people are trying to be helpful, but they don't know what to say.

One of my favorite quotes about the topic is from Fight Club. The narrator isn't sick, but to fight insomnia, he visits support meetings of people who are dying. He meets a woman who is doing the same thing. He says to her, "When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just..." She finishes, "instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?"

I'm glad you were able to forgive and find freedom. I've written a lot and learned a little about forgiveness in my life in the past two years. I'll say a prayer for you as you move on in your journey.