A friend of mine from college recently engaged a few of us in a Facebook conversation about 20-somethings and college-aged kids leaving the church. She wondered if part of it was a natural progression from growing from a childhood faith to a more adult, mature faith. Well, that is, a natural progression for those who actually come BACK to the faith.

I never actually went through a struggle with my faith in college or my 20s. I think part of that was because I did not grow up in a Christian home where faith was pushed on me, along with lots of rules, etc, and requirements to attend church 6 days of the week. My parents brought us to a Lutheran church, but by high school, it was a Christmas and Easter kind of thing. So, when I grabbed a hold of the Faith and professed myself a believer, it meant finding rides to the non-denom church I was attending, since my parents didn't go. I think having to defend and think through my faith from the start (and the fact that I didn't really become a Christian until I was 15) kind of made the college/young adult hiatus from church less likely to happen for me.

Regardless, I've noticed a couple things that may perpetuate this:
1. Youth Groups in middle school and high school are shallow. Much like your experience, hard questions are either met with trite answers... or worse, with derision. 
2. Lack of groups for 20-somethings and young adults. I think this is less of an issue in some of the larger churches, but I've noticed a lack of ministry groups for this age group in a lot of the smaller community churches and mainline denominations. It seems a lot of catering goes to the newlyweds, older marrieds, and families. 

Anyway.... those are my thoughts! I too wonder why we can't "be adults" about discussing hard questions and "hot button topics". I tend to avoid arguments about those topics, because it generally boils down to name-calling. My 4-year-old can argue more effectively than that. ; )