Gerard,
While I do still require the quiet contemplative periods that I can only find in the wild, my life and worldview have changed dramatically. The biggest difference being my ability to live without considering suicide. Initially, I struggled to sustain the will to continue living, fortunately I've learned to be content and productive as time has passed. So many positive things have come from my transformation, a more positive worldview, contentment, peace of mind, etc. I was quite despondent when I first relocated to the cabin in Paris.