Hi Liz.   I'm pretty certain that in those times when I was at my lowest, I wasn't focused on God.  It's been a long time since it has been.   When I left the organized church, one of the things that I felt the most free from was the belief that all of my time and energy was supposed to be toward Jesus and prayer and worship but what I found out was that when I was devoting all of that time to those things, I wasn't really doing what he wanted  Don't get me wrong, I have not lost my faith; quite the opposite

When I am out doing my photography, I am usually secluded or out in the woods; somewhere where the white noise of civilization doesn't exist.  In these moments, I can reflect and that when God speaks to me.   Or is it a matter of that being when I listen???