Deanna,

You've shared a very raw story and thank you for doing so.

I'm a fallen pastor who has seen the ugly side of what I call the "ministry culture." I've been restored and am now active as a youth director. I'm very nervous because I don't want to do a disservice to any of the kids under my watch.

Unfortunately, your story is being repeated over and over across the country. It's a symptom of a larger problem. It's the machine of the "ministry." I don't believe it's what Christ had in mind when He laid his life down for the church. You and others are victims of it, and I'm sorry for that.

There is hope, I believe, for the community of Christ that truly wants to help and reach people. It is not the same as the mechanized structure that many have come into contact with each Sunday. My heart hurts when I hear stories like yours because I used to be part of that structure. But I do know there is hope - not in the system, but because of the person of Jesus Christ and His people.

Thank you for baring your heart and soul. I look forward to your last post.

Ray