Marni, you would love my book, Uncensored Prayer: The Spiritual Practice of Wrestling With God.  We have similar stories, and I know well the sense of panic at following God's leadership to be vulnerable before the world through our writing, especially when our stories aren't pretty.  But without opening up, there are people who would continue feeling no one else understands.  God will use your honesty and brokeness to make a positive difference in certain people's lives, as well as help you in your own healing.

I affirm you, girl!  Go ahead and jump into the Grand Canyon with God!  It may feel as scary as hell, but the benefits are worth it.  And so are you.