Recent comments by presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann have stirred up the discussion about gay marriage once again. While speaking to a group of high school students, <a href="http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/2011/11/30/michele-bachmann-debates-same-sex-rights-with-high-school-students-in-waverly/">she said</a> that gay people could get married, just not to someone who was the same sex. “They (same-sex couples) can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.”

<a href="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/DSC_0184_w.jpg"><img class="alignleft" src="http://provoketive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/DSC_0184_w-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a>Later she went on to add that “there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There’s no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life.”

And there it is; the reason why I oppose gay marriage.

<strong>Because when we talk about <em>gay</em> marriage, we’re talking about the kind of sex that this couple is having.</strong>

Some will suggest that we don’t talk about straight marriage because marriage already implies that it is to be a man and a woman. But I think it’s more than that. We don’t call it straight marriage because we know that there’s far more to a marriage than what happens between the sheets.

There are the foot rubs on the couch after a hard day at work.

There are the discussions about budgets and menus and chores.

There are birthday gifts to buy, vacations to plan, family reunions to attend.

There are arguments and apologies. Good times and bad times. Births and deaths. Laughter and tears. All things that make a marriage.

<strong>None that have anything to do with sexual orientation.</strong>

When the discussion is framed in terms of gay marriage, it becomes much easier to call the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States">more than 1100 marriage rights</a> that you enjoy "special." When it's called gay marriage, it becomes much easier to see it as something deviant or frightening. When we call it gay marriage, we dehumanize the people who are getting married by stripping them down to their orientation.

So by all means, let's all oppose gay marriage.

<strong>Instead, join me in supporting marriage equality.</strong>