I always understood the "I will spit you out of my mouth" passage to mean that if I was "lukewarm" (i.e. unsure about God and faith) that I would be rendered useless to God's desires and needs. In my mind God was just a proctor for a test and he would flunk me if I got the essay wrong.

But if God flew away from me the moment I needed to work on figuring out the questions, and he/she wasn't there for me on the other side when I got back... Was this really a relationship in the first place?

I've been reading Peter Rollin's "How (Not) to Speak of God" and there is a whole section talking about how doubt is where faith is born.

All I have is relief.